NOT THE END OF THE WORLD

BUT WE COULD SEE IT

This is my very close friend, Fred Jones.
Fred is the person who got me to start driving a cab. He was working for Royal at the time but retired in late 2002.

He left the island then but came back last November. Staying in a cabin way up in the far reaches of the Kula area.
The only utility he has is county water. Solar panel and a gasoline generator provide electricity. The fridge and stove top are propane, which also supplements the solar water heater. TV is via satellite. Telephone service is spotty coverage, at best, via cell phone. So far out on the fringe of civilization that a cell must be switched to "analog" since "digital" won't work.

The patio area has exposed lava tubes
But the views are utterly breath-taking.



"Murph" and I were invited to Fred's place for dinner last night. Fred has purchased a 35-foot motor home on the mainland and plans to leave Mau'i, forever, shortly after the 1st of next month. Traveling between western and eastern Washington State, in the Pacific Northwest part of the USA. His mom died a couple of years back, at 98(!), and left him comfortable.

Tired of the isolated existence, he wants to be close to his kids and grand-kids.

I don't fault him but I sure as hell am going to miss him.

"Murph" picked me up about 3:30p. While our destination was only 5 or 6 miles away, as the crow flies, the actual road distance was closer to 40 miles, one way. Directions were what you might expect for a location that doesn't even have a Zip-Code or a numbered street address. After finally finding the correct cattle gate along the road, it was a 3 mile trek up a barely graded "dirt road". Calling it a "road" is being very, very generous. I am glad we had "Murph's" pickup truck, my "Crown Vic" wouldn't have made it. The people who live in that area, maybe 1 person per square mile, all have 4-WD vehicles. "Murph's" little "4-banger", 2-WD Ford was pushed to it's operational limits. Had a great dinner and Fred wanted us to spend the night but "Murph" has to be to work by 5a today and there was no way we could have traversed that "goat trail" in the dark. We departed about 7:15p, late twilight, and barely found our way back down the hill to the paved road.

It was a treat to visit Fred but it was also an adventure. I visited an area of Mau'i that I have never seen before. The paved road is "open range" country where cattle are allowed to roam free and we met many a black cow on the narrow, unlit, paved road before we finally regained civilization. "Murph" dropped me at my place about 8:30p and then headed home. Hoping to get, maybe, 6 hours of sleep before his day begins again at 3a. I took a nap, since I had only had 2-1/2 hours of sleep earlier.

***

Three male Labrador Retrievers - one chocolate, one yellow and one black, were sitting in the vet's waiting room when they struck up a conversation.

The black Lab turned to the chocolate Lab and said,

"So why are you here?"

The chocolate Lab replied,

"I'm a pisser. I piss on everything. The sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw waslast night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black Lab said,

"So what is the vet going to do?"

"Gonna cut my nuts off."

Came the reply from the chocolate Lab.

"They reckon it'll calm me down."

The black Lab then turned to the yellow Lab and asked,

"Why are you here?"

The yellow Lab said,

"I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a hole in my owner's sofa."

"So what are they going to do to you?"

The black Lab inquired.

"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too."

The dejected yellow Lab said.

The yellow Lab then turned to the black Lab and asked,

"Why are you here?"

"I'm a humper."

The black Lab said.

"I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and, as she was bending down to dry her toes, I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away."

The yellow Lab and chocolate Lab exchanged a sad glance and said,

"So, nuts off for you too, huh?"

The black Lab said....

"No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."

***

Today is Labor Day. Enjoy what is left of the un-official "last day" of summer.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Lana'i (distant) & Ma'alaea Bay (near)
From Upcountry Kula

Kula

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

TODAY IS THE

SECOND OF SEPTEMBER

And Halloween isn't until the 31st of October. So why are the Halloween candy displays already set up?

Geez!

Even worse, the first of the Christmas items are starting to appear.

They should at least wait until after Labor Day.

"Doncha tink?"

Thought you would like this example of pidgin.



I wonder which of the Fates that I pissed off. I got stuck with the phone.

Started the night with 6 cabs on the road. By a quarter past 7p I had worked my way to the front of the queue. Had my first fare at 20 after. A nice lady who needed to do some shopping at Safeway, since she had arrived today. She had flown American from Dallas-Fort Worth on a direct flight to Mau'i. Her luggage hadn't. She wasn't late checking in checking in, actually was early. There is no need to worry about transferring bags from one plane to another. Yet somehow, American Airlines's DFW baggage handlers didn't quite have their act together. She had called them just before I picked her up and AA still hadn't located the bags in their system and thus could not give her an ETA.

I spent the night ping-ponging again. We had long runs, with more people than I could accommodate in ONE-NINE, and we had short runs, which was my domain for the shift. An even blend of resident and tourist. We were also fortunate enough to have Tina (#05) stay with TMR and myself through bar close. She normally goes pau at midnight.

The usual assortment of calls, most purely business but the occasional "Kihei" response to where they wanted to be picked up. And you all know how much fun I have with those. One of them told me he didn't like my attitude. I told him

"You have to have a brain to have an attitude. I guess you got left out."

[click]

The final fare of the shift was the "cherry" for the shift. TMR and Tina were both under fare, headed to Wailea from the "Triangle". I was dropping in north central Kihei. Get a call requesting a cab in the far north end of town. I clear and head that way. Make the pick-up and we are headed to the "West-Side". Honokowai (north of Lahaina & Ka'anapli) to be exact. My take for the night jumped up by 50%!

On my return to the "south-side", I was passing by Ma'alaea and noticed a white pickup truck in front of me weaving and drastically changing speed. An obvious DUI. Follow him to the junction of SR30/SR310 and he turns south towards Kihei.
9-1-1 on the cell phone and I advise the MPD dispatcher what is going down. He turns off SR310 onto South Kihei Road. About 2 miles down, 2 MPD patrol cars make the enforcement stop. The thanked me and kicked me loose. Whether they made an arrest or not, I'll never know. At least I did my part to protect MY ROAD. By the way he was driving I would guesstimate a BA of 0.18% to 0.25%.

0.08% is the legal limit in Hawai'i.

16 fares / 151 miles / 2nd quarter $200 bracket

Enjoy your Labor Day weekend!

Oh, Judy is home. Medicated, sedated and enjoying being pampered by Richard.

See you tomorrow.

Same "Bat-Time". Same "Bat-Channel".

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Kula Sunrise

Looking Down On Kalului

Kula Rainbow

Kula Lodge

Afternoon Clouds
Kula

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DIAGNOSIS

PNEUMONIA!

I talked to Judy last night. She is still in MMMC. She might come home today but we both think it will be Monday, at the earliest. She is recovering and hooked up to tubes and hoses doing whatever tubes and hoses do. She is sedated, which makes a conversation fun. I would tell her a joke and it would take 30 seconds or so before she understood the punch line.

She had read about my incident at the end of July and proceeded to describe every one of her symptoms. She was the one who suggested that I am, still, suffering from the same condition. She may be right.

I'll up-date as I get more info.

***

A pretty decent night. Started slow. Jumped into "high gear". Died for an hour. Then went hot'n'heavy thru bar close. Even had 1 "dog-watch". Spent the vast majority of the shift just "ping-ponging" up and down Kihei/Wailea. My final bar-close finally got me out of town. Far north Kihei to the harbor in Kahului. I did lose another run to Kahului at 3a. Asked for a $45 deposit and he didn't have any cash.

"Brah. We get there I run inside and get you cash while you wait. Okay, brah?"

Yeah, right.

I may have been born at night but it definitely wasn't last night. Besides, I already "suckered" for that one when I first started driving.

14 fares / 126 miles / 4th quarter $100 bracket

***

Everyone in Canada and the USA enjoy this 3 day Labor (Labour) Day weekend.

For the rest of the world:
The first Monday in September is a National Holiday in both Canada and the USA. It is also the un-official end of our summer vacation (holiday) period. Most K-12 schools have either commenced classes or will on Tuesday. Everyone will savor the waning days of summer that still remain and start preparation to winterize their homes and vehicles. Soon the "winter" clothes will emerge from storage while "summer" attire disappears.

***

Tonight we only have TMR and myself scheduled for the shift. He dispatched on Thursday. I did it last night. Neither one of us wants to do it. Maybe we can split the night 50/50.

PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!

DON'T
DRINK
AND
DRIVE!

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Pukalani

Break In Clouds
Pukalani

Pukalani "Cherry"

Pukalani Square

Pukalani

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

A BEAUTIFUL START

TO A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT

Last Night's Sunset

At 9:30p I surpassed Tuesday night's meter. Passed Wednesday's at 9:45p. And beat their combined total at 1:26a. Then I added two more fares to the night.

I think this just about sums it up:

Had the pleasure of the company of these four lasses twice last night. I didn't get their names but they are from SoCal. Aren't they pretty? They were as nice as they were good looking. Even at the end of the night.

Also had two Irish lads. Mid-twenty's. The rudest people of the night. Not that they were deliberately trying to be rude, just that I was a "cabbie" and far below their station in life. I had them twice last night also. Their main interests were getting a blow-job, football (soccer), and seeing if they could get into a fight at the "Triangle" with a "local". They didn't think the people of polynesia were that tough. I don't know how they fared since I had only taken them to Mulligan's and later to the "Triangle". No ambulances were called to the "Triangle" during the shift, so maybe they sized up the competition and realized they were out-matched.

14 fares / 116 miles / 1st quarter $200 bracket

***

Received a call from Judy's new boyfriend/roommate, Richard, last night. Judy was taken ill on Sunday past and finally was transported to MMMC yesterday. Nobody knows what is wrong and she is scheduled for a CAT-SCAN later today. We don't have a MRI machine on Mau'i. Richard had just left her at the ER. They had doped her up and she was drifting off to the "Land of Nod". She told him that there was no reason to hang around and watch her sleep and that he had to call me asap or I would be pissed. And I would have been, too. I'll talk to him this evening and hopefully they'll have an idea of what the problem is. The only symptoms that he told me was that she was having severe chest and upper back pains.

I'll let you know tomorrow what I find out.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Pukalani
Upcountry Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

REMEMBER HOW SLOW TUESDAY WAS?

WEDNESDAY WAS WORSE

One of the problems we have is lack of places to park while waiting for a dispatch. In Wailea, none of the resorts want us waiting around on their property. All beach access parking is closed at 7p and we are hassled by the Wailea Community rent-a-cops if we park anywhere in their patrol area. Even The Shops At Wailea kick us out. Of course, the difference between us and their regular traffic is that we have a yellow light on the roof and our vehicles are clean, late model automobiles that actually have wheels on them and no major damage.

Both of these have been parked at The Shops for well over a month.


I guess I could take "Maggie" and beat the shit out of our cabs so we look more like their "valued" customers.

***

The title of today's missive says it all. My second fare of the night was a good one from Wailea to a hostel in Wailuku. A young couple from "Sacratomato", CA USA. He just flew in today and she has been here for a week already, with her parents.

Contributed a 25% tip too!

4 fares between 7p and 11p. 1 on the dog-watch.

If this is boring to you, then consider how I felt.

Oh, yeah. We had 4 cabs on until 2a. Started with a lot more than that.

My morning relief advised me that he will be taking the next 5 days off. I have no idea who will be my relief on Friday, Saturday and Sunday mornings. Feces occurs. I'll just hang in there until someone shows up.

The next 3 nights we only have 3 cabs on until bar close. And we might get some business from the Three Dog Night concert in Wailuku this evening.

5 fares / 77 miles / 4th quarter below $100 bracket

Mahalo

Aloha

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THE PICTURE GALLERY

Pukalani
Upcountry - Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"