JAYWALKERS

NOW / THEN

Looked at last night's sunset and my mind's necessity to make order out of chaos gave me the impression of two dogs jumping out of a vortex and running off to "screen right".

About as gawl awful slow as a night can get.

The driver-turned-dispatcher now handles the phones from 1p to 9p. I don't know which nights he'll be doing this but I am suppose to start doing Sunday nights again this weekend. Found the "night" phone in ONE-NINE when I checked in. After that I learned about the new dispatching setup. Tuesday night is "Crazy" Brian's (#11) night "in the barrel". Somehow it just hadn't been convenient for him to swing by ONE-NINE and grab the phone before I came in. At the 9p switchover, "Crazy" was in Lahaina. The owner asked me to work the phone and that "Crazy" would do it on Friday. No worries, and I get to just "drive" on the busiest night of the week. I can live with that.

Almost nailed a jaywalker last night. My first run of the shift was a sweet family from somewhere in northern Mexico. We arrived at their restaurant earlier than they had expected, by about 30 minutes. Dad asked me to give them a little tour of Kihei. Traffic, as usual, was slow on South Kihei Road. Its dinner-time and the road can't accommodate that much volume. As we crept north, I was watching a couple of skateborders "stunting" in the bike lane. Suddenly, my passenger shouts:

"ALTO!"

Some drugged out moron walking from between 2 oncoming cars and stepping directly in my path. Slammed on the brakes. Jerked the wheel to the hard left, hoping that he would continue walking towards my right. Luck was on both of our sides at that moment. Inches, less, from his imminent death. He was so far into his own universe, he never even was aware of anything on our side of reality.

Dad, riding "shotgun", cussed him out in Spanish as we passed. That was pretty kewl. I knew some of the words but to hear them so fluently and fluidly used was impressive. He also complimented me on my quick and correct reaction. Told me I had fast reflexes. Not as fast as they used to be, sadly.

Its going to happen sooner or later. One of our cabs is going to nail someone. And it won't be the driver's fault.

Then I had two dinner returns, one bar rush, three bar close and one dog-watch. Was home before 5a.

8 fares / 82 miles / 1st quarter $100 bracket

***

A very, very long time ago, I was starting on patrol. Headed out to my beat on a very busy two-lane road. The car in front of me suddenly swerves, as does the car in the oncoming lane. Both away from the center line.

A toddler(!!), just standing on the double yellow line. I swerve, slam on the brakes and light up the "red-heads". Snatch the kid out of the street and pull off the road. Advised dispatch and then started checking with the small row of houses bordering one edge of the sidestreet. Knocked on the door, waited, a typical tired young mother appeared. She saw the little boy and her hand flew to her mouth, while her eyes widened and glanced at the inside hook latch, tears welling instantly. Her reaction was enough to tell me that "Junior" had learned a new "trick". These homes were low cost rentals. Uniquely, this one was very clean and well kept. Mom was sober and had just stepped away to check on dinner. Nothing I could have said would have made a greater impression than what she already knew.

***

Hope everyone has a great day and that we can hook-up again tomorrow.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

The Original "Bodysurfer"

Looks Inviting
Doesn't It?

Another Kihei Beach

Lagoon
Kaua'i

Kaua'i

***

95995



"Let's all be careful out there!"

MY EYES WERE...

BIGGER THAN MY STOMACH
as hard as that is to believe

Have you tried Pizza Hut's new "P'zone"?

Two orders equals one large pizza, in size. I wasn't able to finish half of mine. Judy ate even less. Tastes good, though. That'll cover my "munchies" later this morning and my dinner on Wednesday morning.

As usual, a very pleasant evening.

***

Its the hottest part of summer and your car's a/c goes kerplunk. This poor girl must just be miserable.

***

Back to the salt mine tonight. See you after work.

Mahalo

Aloha

***

"Holy Prostitutes"

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....
It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought....

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks,

"What may we do for you my son?"
He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business...."
"Very well my son. Please follow me."

He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man,

"Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door...
This nun instructs,

"Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Full Moon

Windward O'ahu

Kaua'i

Ka'anapali Beach
Mau'i

Big Island Landscape

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

OPULENT DISPLAYS OF WEALTH

AREN'T STRICTLY AMERICAN

***

Well, Friday night's "dead body" wasn't a "fatal" but the victim is still "touch & go". This brief story from the local rag sure leaves a lot of questions open.

***

Due to logistical problems, the radio equipment I needed to dispatch last night wasn't available. Which meant that I got up early for no reason.

"The best made plans of mice and men..."
Feces occurs

Some of you who have entered the "contest" need to review your date guesstimates. I really don't think anything with a July date is practical. Remember, adjustments, and new entries, are being accepted until ONE-NINE's odometer reaches 99,000 miles.

I hope everyone has a great week and I'll be back tomorrow.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Tropical Sky

Manoa Valley
O'ahu

Hidden Hawai'ian Coast
From A Kayak
Kaua'i

The Grace Of The Hula

Papayas

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

THE START OF MY DAY

LOOKS LIKE THIS

At 7:51p I picked up a lady from the Four Seasons, headed to OGG. Her flight was scheduled to depart at 9:50p to El Lay. No worries. I'll have her there by 20 past 8. Right about the half-way point, her cell rings. Her girlfiend back at the Resort had just found my passenger's wallet under a pillow in the bedroom.
Right in rhe middle of the highway construction I found an area where I could put off the highway, turn around and then head back. Without her ID, she can't get past the TSA security checkpoint. Traffic was a bitch. I never went faster than 9 mph over the speed limit but with frequent lane changes I fought my way through the crowd.
Her girlfriend was waiting for us at the Four Seasons entrance. Wallet in hand.

Hug
Kiss
"Thanks" "Bye"

She wasn't sure how much time prior to departure was the cut-off for accepting checked baggage. She thought 50 minutes. She already had her boarding pass. I "kicked the mule' all the way north, through Kihei. The timing was going to be very tight.

Turned onto Mokulele Highway (SR-311) and, right about where I had made the earlier turn-around, I get behind the nemesis of drivers everywhere. A L.O.L. doing 20 mph in the 35 mph zone. Not only was it illegal to pass her, it was also impossible. Heavy on-coming traffic. As we transitioned off the detour and onto the old portion of the road she slowed to 15 mph. On this portion of the road she never exceeded 19 mph. 2 miles later, where you transition from the old road to the newly completed, freeway quality, highway, I was able to pass her. She had slowed to 9mph to make that transition. I glanced as I went past, accelerating to 55mph. An elderly Filipina. So tiny that she was looking through the steering wheel to see the road. Glanced in the rearview mirror. A bumper-to-bumper line of cars stretching at least 2 miles back.

By this point, the meter was approaching $100. My passenger told me that she only had $110 on her.

"Do you have a major credit card?"
"Yes. Do you accept credit cards?"
"No worries, Miss. You keep you cash for necessities and we'll just put this ride on plastic. Okay?"

While I am filling out the charge slip, she hustles her check-in bag to the Dept of Ag screening, 10 feet away. Runs back and signs the charge slip. Runs to retrieve her bag and them a dash to her airline counter. It was 8:57p as I pulled away.

Gave me $22 on a $113 fare. Not half shabby.

The remainder of the shift was a very slow mix of bar runs (to/from).

About 3a, I get a call from US Air (who owns America West) Their flight #31, scheduled to depart at 11p, had been canceled. I had three runs pending, so I had to decline an immediate response. It would be impossible to get there in under 90 minutes. Then each of those pending runs were "10-13's". 3:45a I am called again. Could I please take 4 people from OGG to our local Best Western Inn. I accepted and beat feet across the island. Turns out the lying sob's at the airline had told three separate groups (about 9 passengers) that ROYAL was sending 3 cabs.

I had been given a name for my pickup. It wasn't 4 people but 6. 4 adults and 2 under-10 kids. The other 3 people were all adults. I gathered up the 6 and headed back south. Just before departing #5 (Wally checked in for the day and I dispatched him to get the remaining people. We get to the Best Western and the people are turned away. No rooms available. I acted on a gut feeling and called the Renaissance Hotel. Since they are closing in the very near future, their bookings have been declining. I was right, there were rooms available. My passengers thought that I could walk on water at that point. Made sure they got checked in and "Daddy" slipped me a $20 in his handshake.

Headed for the barn.

9 fares / 141 miles / 4th quarter $200 bracket

***

I am going to be dispatching again tonight, from home. Maybe something interesting will happen.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Gorgeous Beach
O'ahu

Kona Coast
Big Island

Near Empty Beach
Kaua'i

Flowers Of Hawai'i

A Beautiful Cove
Mau'i

***

95384



"Let's all be careful out there!"

A FLAWED END

TO A FRIDAY NIGHT

radio traffic at 0139 hrs, 2007-07-21:
#21 (TMR): "Theres a dead body in front of FoodLand."
DISPATCH (me): "Are the police on scene?"
#21: "Yes. Its lying in the street in front of FoodLand."

I am approaching the scene. Foodland is the property due north of the "Triangle". We circulate this area at bar close to try and find "flags". It was bar close and the area was flooded with drunks. Most walking to the "scene" to see a body. Typical "lookie-loos".

I inched my way through the madhouse of cops and jaywalkers and parked at my usual spot. The bus stop in the FoodLand parking lot. After I arrived, the cops finally blocked off traffic on South Kihei Road. Diverting passage through the parking lot and around the back of the MPD Kihei District Station. #21 ("Crazy" Brian) said he had seen the paramedics doing CPR, and that it was a 20-something female. I saw them loading a shroud wrapped body into the rear of the "meatwagon" but no extraordinary measures were being performed. It was almost 10 minutes before the ambulance started rolling "emergency" to MMMC. Must have found the faintest of life signs. Its a minimum of a 20-minute trip from the incident scene to MMMC. When I finished my shift, the roadway was still closed. Roads are only closed for that long if it is a "fatal".

The photo was taken from the FoodLand bus stop, looking NW.

I have no information as to what happened.

Auto/Ped collision?
Murder?

Since this is Saturday, the paper won't have anything about it until Monday. If it was a "fatal" then the TV news should cover it on this evening's telecast, but I'll be at work. I'll update this story when I get more.

***

It was my night to be the "phone jockey". 8 cabs on duty (3 "day" 5 "night"). By midnight there were just 3 of us left. Since it was Friday night, we "humped".

On Thursday night I had picked up 2 guys from the "Triangle", headed to the Kea Lani. Along the way I asked my usual question about where they were from. The one with an English accent told me to guess. I did and was pretty close. I told him that he sounded like he was from somewhere along the Mersey River, in England. He was from Manchester.

The other one was American, with a "Broadcast Standard" accent like me. Turned out that he was from Texas but is a "voice-over" announcer in Hollywood. Hetold me that when he has a couple of cocktails that the "Texas" in him comes out in his speech patterns.

Last night, about 1:15a, I picked them both up again. They were accompanied by another male and an attractive lady. The Yank remembered me and was telling the third guy, who was riding "shotgun", about how I had nailed where the English guy was from. So the new guy tried me. I listened to him for a few seconds and then said that he was from Greenwich Village, NYC. I was about 20 blocks off. He was from "Hell's Kitchen". He is a producer that hires voice-over talent. While he said I had a fantastic voice, he didn't offer me any work. Oh, and the Yank's "Texas" accent was in its full glory. Near Dallas, I'd say.

I almost forgot. I got a trip to Lahaina last night.

12 fares / 152 miles / 2nd quarter $200 bracket

***

It looks like I'll be dispatching again this Sunday but things are still in flux. I'll know for sure tonight.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Dolphin

Kaua'i

Kona Coast
Big Island

Coconut Palms

Sunrise

***

95097



"Let's all be careful out there!"