DAILY CHUCKLE 9-015

"Let's all be careful out there!"

JANUARY 14TH

Today is Wednesday, Jan. 14, the 14th day of 2009.
There are 351 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On Jan. 14, 1969, 27 people aboard the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise were killed when a rocket warhead exploded, setting off a fire and additional explosions that ripped through the ship off Hawaii.

On this date:

• In 1639, the first constitution of Connecticut — the "Fundamental Orders" — was adopted.
• In 1784, the United States ratified a peace treaty with England, ending the Revolutionary War.
• In 1858, French emperor Napoleon III escaped an attempt on his life.
• In 1900, Puccini's opera "Tosca" had its world premiere in Rome.
• In 1943, President Franklin D. Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and French General Charles de Gaulle opened a wartime conference in Casablanca.
• In 1952, NBC's "Today" show premiered, with Dave Garroway as the host, or "communicator," as he was officially known.
• In 1953, Josip Broz Tito was elected president of Yugoslavia by the country's Parliament.
• In 1963, George C. Wallace was sworn in as governor of Alabama with a pledge of "segregation forever."
• In 1970, Diana Ross and the Supremes performed their last concert together, at the Frontier Hotel in Las Vegas.
• In 1993, talk show host David Letterman announced he was moving from NBC to CBS.

Ten years ago:

• Before a jury of 100 silent senators, House prosecutors demanded President Bill Clinton's removal from office, charging he had "piled perjury upon perjury" and obstructed justice.

Five years ago:

• Former Enron finance chief Andrew Fastow pleaded guilty to conspiracy as he accepted a 10-year prison sentence.
• J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. struck a deal to buy Bank One Corp. for $58 billion.
• A female Palestinian suicide bomber killed three Israeli soldiers and a private security guard at a Gaza crossing.
• U.N. officials announced that Libya had ratified the nuclear test ban treaty.
• President George W. Bush unveiled a plan to send astronauts to the moon, Mars and beyond.
• Death claimed actress Uta Hagen in New York at age 84 and actor Ron O'Neal in Los Angeles at age 66.

One year ago:

• Republican Bobby Jindal, the first elected Indian-American governor in the United States, took office in Louisiana.
• Alvaro Colom was sworn in as Guatemala's first leftist president in more than 50 years.

Today's Birthdays:

• CBS commentator Andy Rooney is 90.
• Blues singer Clarence Carter is 73.
• Country singer Billie Jo Spears is 72.
• Singer Jack Jones is 71.
• Singer-songwriter Allen Toussaint is 71.
• NAACP Chairman Julian Bond is 69.
• Actress Faye Dunaway is 68.
• Actress Holland Taylor is 66.
• Actor Carl Weathers is 61.
• Singer-producer T-Bone Burnett is 61.
• Movie writer-director Lawrence Kasdan is 60.
• Rock singer Geoff Tate (Queensryche) is 50.
• Movie writer-director Steven Soderbergh is 46.
• Actor Mark Addy is 45.
• Fox News Channel anchorman Shepard Smith is 45.
• Rapper Slick Rick is 44.
• Actor Dan Schneider is 43.
• Actress Emily Watson is 42.
• Actor-comedian Tom Rhodes is 42.
• Rock musician Zakk Wylde (Ozzy Osbourne Band) is 42.
• Rapper-actor LL Cool J is 41.
• Actor Jason Bateman is 40.
• Rock singer-musician Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters) is 40.
• Actress Jordan Ladd is 34.
• Retro-soul singer-songwriter Marc Broussard is 27.
• Rock singer-musician Caleb Followill (Kings of Leon) is 27.
• Rock musician Joe Guese (The Click Five) is 26.

Thought for Today:

"The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control."
Ogden Nash, American author-humorist (1902-1971).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 9-014

"Let's all be careful out there!"

JANUARY 13TH

Today is Tuesday, Jan. 13, the 13th day of 2009.
There are 352 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On Jan. 13, 1794, President George Washington approved a measure adding two stars and two stripes to the American flag, following the admission of Vermont and Kentucky to the union. (The number of stripes was later reduced to the original 13.)

On this date:

• In 1733, James Oglethorpe and some 120 English colonists arrived at Charleston, S.C., while en route to settle in present-day Georgia.
• In 1864, composer Stephen Foster died in New York at age 37.
• In 1898, Emile Zola's famous defense of Captain Alfred Dreyfus, "J'accuse," was published in Paris.
• In 1941, novelist and poet James Joyce died in Zurich, Switzerland, less than a month before his 59th birthday.
• In 1945, during World War II, Soviet forces began a huge, successful offensive against the Germans in Eastern Europe.
• In 1962, comedian Ernie Kovacs died in a car crash in west Los Angeles 10 days before his 43rd birthday.
• In 1966, Robert C. Weaver was named Secretary of Housing and Urban Development by President Lyndon B. Johnson; Weaver became the first black Cabinet member.
• In 1978, former Vice President Hubert H. Humphrey died in Waverly, Minn., at age 66.
• In 1982, an Air Florida 737 crashed into Washington, D.C.'s 14th Street Bridge after takeoff during a snowstorm and fell into the Potomac River, killing 78 people.
• In 1990, L. Douglas Wilder of Virginia became the nation's first elected black governor as he took the oath of office in Richmond.

Ten years ago:

• President Bill Clinton's legal team dispatched a formal trial brief to the Senate, arguing that neither "fact or law" warranted his removal from office; House officials sent the Senate all public evidence in the case.
• Michael Jordan announced his second retirement from the Chicago Bulls.

Five years ago:

• Hostile fire brought down a U.S. Army Apache attack helicopter in Iraq, but the two crew members escaped injury.
• A domestic airliner crashed in Tashkent, Uzbekistan, killing all 37 people aboard.
• Harold Shipman, the British doctor blamed for killing more than 200 mostly elderly patients, was found hanged in his prison cell, an apparent suicide.

One year ago:

• President George W. Bush, visiting the United Arab Emirates, gently urged authoritarian Arab allies to satisfy frustrated desires for democracy in the Mideast and saved his harshest criticism for Iran, branding it "the world's leading state-sponsor of terror."
• The Golden Globes were announced in a dry, news conference-style ceremony, devoid of stars because of the Hollywood writers' strike; "Atonement" won best motion picture drama, while "Mad Men" was named best dramatic TV series.

Today's Birthdays:

• Country singer Liz Anderson is 79.
• Actress Frances Sternhagen is 79.
• Comedian Rip Taylor is 75.
• Actor Billy Gray is 71.
• Actor Richard Moll is 66.
• Rock musician Trevor Rabin is 55.
• Rhythm-and-blues musician Fred White is 54.
• Actor Kevin Anderson is 49.
• Actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus is 48.
• Rock singer Graham "Suggs" McPherson (Madness) is 48.
• Country singer Trace Adkins is 47.
• Actress Penelope Ann Miller is 45.
• Actor Patrick Dempsey is 43.
• Actress Traci Bingham is 41.
• Actor Keith Coogan is 39.
• Actress Nicole Eggert is 37.
• Actor Orlando Bloom is 32.

Thought for Today:

"Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor."
Sholom Aleichem, Russian author-humorist (1859-1916).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 9-013

"Let's all be careful out there!"

JANUARY 12TH

Today is Monday, Jan. 12, the 12th day of 2009.
There are 353 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• Fifty years ago, on Jan. 12, 1959, Berry Gordy Jr. founded Motown Records (originally called Tamla Records) in Detroit.

On this date:

• In 1519, Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian I died.
• In 1773, the first public museum in America was organized, in Charleston, S.C.
• In 1915, the U.S. House of Representatives rejected a proposal to give women the right to vote.
• In 1932, Hattie W. Caraway became the first woman elected to the U.S. Senate, after serving out the remainder of the term of her late husband, Thaddeus.
• In 1942, President Franklin D. Roosevelt re-established the National War Labor Board.
• In 1948, the Supreme Court ruled that state law schools could not discriminate against applicants on the basis of race.
• In 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson said in his State of the Union address that the U.S. should stay in South Vietnam until communist aggression there was ended.
• In 1969, the New York Jets of the American Football League upset the Baltimore Colts of the National Football League 16-7 in Super Bowl III, played at the Orange Bowl in Miami.
• In 1976, mystery writer Dame Agatha Christie died in Wallingford, England, at age 85.
• In 1986, the shuttle Columbia blasted off with a crew that included the first Hispanic-American in space, Franklin R. Chang-Diaz.

Ten years ago:

• The Supreme Court limited state regulation of voter initiatives, striking down several methods used by Colorado to police such measures.
• Mark McGwire's 70th home run ball was sold at auction in New York for $3 million to an anonymous bidder.

Five years ago:

• President George W. Bush and Mexican President Vicente Fox forged agreement on the contentious issues of immigration and Iraq, meeting in Monterrey before the opening of a 34-nation hemispheric summit.
• Singer-songwriter Randy VanWarmer died in Seattle at age 48.

One year ago:

• President George W. Bush, visiting Bahrain, said he was cheered by news that Iraq's parliament had approved legislation reinstating thousands of former supporters of Saddam Hussein's dissolved Baath party to government jobs.

Today's Birthdays:

• Actress Luise Rainer is 99.
• Country singer Ray Price is 83.
• Singer Glenn Yarborough is 79.
• The Amazing Kreskin is 74.
• Country singer William Lee Golden (The Oak Ridge Boys) is 70.
• Former heavyweight boxing champion Joe Frazier is 65.
• Rock musician Cynthia Robinson (Sly and the Family Stone) is 65.
• Singer-musician George Duke is 63.
• Actor Anthony Andrews is 61.
• Movie director Wayne Wang is 60.
• Radio commentator Rush Limbaugh is 58.
• Actress Kirstie Alley is 58.
• Writer Walter Mosley is 57.
• Country singer Ricky Van Shelton is 57.
• Radio personality Howard Stern is 55.
• Rock musician Tom Ardolino (NRBQ) is 52.
• Writer-producer-director John Lasseter is 52.
• Broadcast journalist Christiane Amanpour is 51.
• Rock musician Charlie Gillingham (Counting Crows) is 49.
• Actor Oliver Platt is 49.
• Actor Olivier Martinez is 43.
• Rock singer Rob Zombie is 43.
• Rapper TBird (B-Rock and the Bizz) is 42.
• Model Vendela is 42.
• Actress Farrah Forke is 41.
• Actress Rachael Harris is 41.
• Rock singer Zack de la Rocha is 39.
• Rapper Raekwon (Wu Tang Clan) is 39.
• Singer Dan Haseltine (Jars of Clay) is 36.
• Rock musician Matt Wong (Reel Big Fish) is 36.
• Singer Melanie Chisholm (Spice Girls) is 35.
• Contemporary Christian singer Jeremy Camp is 31.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Amerie is 29.
• Actor Will Rothhaar is 22.
• Actor Andrew Lawrence is 21.

Thought for Today:

"Give the people a new word and they think they have a new fact."
Willa Cather, American author (1873-1947).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 9-012

"Let's all be careful out there!"

JANUARY 11TH

Today is Sunday, Jan. 11, the 11th day of 2009.
There are 354 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On Jan. 11, 1908, the Grand Canyon National Monument was created with a proclamation by President Theodore Roosevelt. (It became a national park in 1919.)

On this date:

• In 1805, the Michigan Territory was created by an act of Congress.
• In 1815, Sir John A. Macdonald, the first prime minister of Canada, was born in Glasgow, Scotland.
• In 1861, Alabama seceded from the Union.
• In 1913, the first sedan-type automobile, a Hudson, went on display at the 13th National Automobile Show in New York.
• In 1935, aviator Amelia Earhart began a trip from Honolulu, Hawaii, to Oakland, Calif., that made her the first woman to fly solo across the Pacific Ocean.
• In 1942, Japan declared war against the Netherlands, the same day that Japanese forces invaded the Dutch East Indies.
• In 1943, the United States and Britain signed treaties relinquishing extraterritorial rights in China.
• In 1964, U.S. Surgeon General Luther Terry issued the first government report saying smoking may be hazardous to one's health.
• In 1977, France set off an international uproar by releasing Abu Daoud, a PLO official behind the massacre of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics.
• In 1995, 52 people were killed when a Colombian airliner crashed as it was preparing to land near the Caribbean resort of Cartagena.

Ten years ago:

• President Bill Clinton and House Republicans clashed in impeachment trial papers, with the White House claiming the perjury and obstruction allegations fell short of high crimes and misdemeanors and GOP lawmakers rebutting: "If this is not enough, what is?"

Five years ago:

• Democrat Howard Dean defended his record on race in the last debate before the Iowa caucuses, as he was forced to acknowledge that no blacks or Hispanic had served in his cabinet during his 12 years as governor of Vermont.

One year ago:

• Bank of America said it would buy Countrywide Financial for $4.1 billion in stock in a deal rescuing the country's biggest mortgage lender.
• Authorities in Jacksonville, N.C., found the remains of Marine Lance Cpl. Maria Frances Lauterbach in the yard of Cpl. Cesar Armando Laurean, a comrade she had accused of raping her. (Laurean, who fled to Mexico, was arrested last April and charged in Lauterbach's death.)
• Former Olympic track gold medalist Marion Jones was sentenced to six months in prison for lying to investigators about using performance-enhancing drugs and her role in a check-fraud scam.
• Sir Edmund Hillary, the first to conquer Mount Everest, died in Auckland, New Zealand, at age 88.

Today's Birthdays:

• Producer Grant Tinker is 84.
• Producer David L. Wolper is 81.
• Actor Rod Taylor is 79.
• The former prime minister of Canada, Jean Chretien, is 75.
• Actor Mitchell Ryan is 75.
• Actor Felix Silla is 72.
• Rock musician Clarence Clemons is 67.
• Movie director Joel Zwick is 67.
• Country singer Naomi Judd is 63.
• Golfer Ben Crenshaw is 57.
• Singer Robert Earl Keen is 53.
• Musician Vicki Peterson (The Bangles) is 51.
• Actress Kim Coles is 47.
• Actor Jason Connery is 46.
• Contemporary Christian musician Jim Bryson (MercyMe) is 41.
• Rock musician Tom Dumont (No Doubt) is 41.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Maxee Maxwell (Brownstone) is 40.
• Movie director Malcolm D. Lee is 39.
• Singer Mary J. Blige is 38.
• Musician Tom Rowlands (The Chemical Brothers) is 38.
• Actor Marc Blucas is 37.
• Actress Amanda Peet is 37.
• Actor Rockmond Dunbar is 36.
• Reality TV star Jason Wahler (TV: "Laguna Beach"; "The Hills") is 22.

Thought for Today:

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could."
Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, poet and philosopher (1803-1882).

"Let's all be careful out there!"