DAILY CHUCKLE 8-354

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DECEMBER 18TH

Today is Thursday, Dec. 18, the 353rd day of 2008.
There are 13 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On Dec. 18, 1865, the 13th Amendment to the Constitution, abolishing slavery, was declared in effect by Secretary of State William H. Seward.

On this date:

• In 1787, New Jersey became the third state to ratify the U.S. Constitution.
• In 1892, Tchaikovsky's ballet "The Nutcracker" publicly premiered in St. Petersburg, Russia.
• In 1915, President Woodrow Wilson, widowed the year before, married Edith Bolling Galt at her Washington home.
• In 1940, Adolf Hitler ordered secret preparations for Nazi Germany to invade the Soviet Union. (Operation Barbarossa was launched in June 1941.)
• In 1944, in a pair of rulings, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the wartime relocation of Japanese-Americans, but also said undeniably loyal Americans of Japanese ancestry could not continue to be detained.
• In 1956, Japan was admitted to the United Nations.
• In 1957, the Shippingport Atomic Power Station in Pennsylvania, the first public, full-scale commercial nuclear facility to generate electricity in the United States, went on line. (It was taken out of service in 1982.)
• In 1958, the world's first communications satellite, SCORE (Signal Communication by Orbiting Relay Equipment), nicknamed "Chatterbox," was launched by the United States aboard an Atlas rocket.
• In 1972, the United States began heavy bombing of North Vietnamese targets during the Vietnam War. (The bombardment ended 11 days later.)
• In 1980, former Soviet Premier Alexei N. Kosygin died at age 76.

Ten years ago:

• The House debated articles of impeachment against President Bill Clinton.
• U.S. and British forces blasted Iraq with a third day of airstrikes.
• South Carolina carried out the nation's 500th execution since capital punishment resumed in 1977.

Five years ago:

• Two federal appeals courts ruled the U.S. military could not indefinitely hold prisoners without access to lawyers or American courts.
• A jury in Chesapeake, Va., convicted teenager Lee Boyd Malvo of two counts of capital murder in the Washington-area sniper shootings (he was later sentenced to life in prison without parole).
• A judge in Seattle sentenced confessed Green River Killer Gary Ridgway to 48 consecutive life terms.
• Michael Jackson was formally charged with molesting a cancer-stricken boy at his Neverland Ranch; Jackson was acquitted at trial.

One year ago:

• The White House said President George W. Bush had approved "a significant reduction" in the U.S. nuclear weapons stockpile, cutting it to less than one-quarter its size at the end of the Cold War.
• The U.N. Security Council voted unanimously to extend the U.S.-led multinational force in Iraq for one year.
• Jacob Zuma was elected leader of the African National Congress, South Africa's ruling party, defeating imcumbent Thabo Mbeki.

Today's Birthdays:

• Television writer-producer Hal Kanter is 90.
• Former U.S. Attorney General Ramsey Clark is 81.
• Actor Roger Smith is 76.
• Blues musician Lonnie Brooks is 75.
• Rock singer-musician Keith Richards is 65.
• Writer-director Alan Rudolph is 65.
• Movie producer-director Steven Spielberg is 62.
• Blues artist Ron Piazza is 61.
• Movie director Gillian Armstrong is 58.
• Movie reviewer Leonard Maltin is 58.
• Rock musician Elliot Easton is 55.
• Actor Ray Liotta is 53.
• Comedian Ron White is 52.
• Actor Brad Pitt is 45.
• Actress Rachel Griffiths is 40.
• Singer Alejandro Sanz is 40.
• Country/rap singer Cowboy Troy is 38.
• Rapper DMX is 38.
• Tennis player Arantxa Sanchez Vicario is 37.
• DJ Lethal (Limp Bizkit) is 36.
• Actress Katie Holmes is 30.
• Singer Christina Aguilera is 28.
• Christian rock musician Dave Luetkenhoelter (Kutless) is 26.

Thought for Today:

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
Anais Nin, American author (1903-1977).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-353

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DECEMBER 17TH

Today is Wednesday, Dec. 17, the 352nd day of 2008.
There are 14 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On Dec. 17, 1903, Wilbur and Orville Wright of Dayton, Ohio, conducted the first successful manned powered-airplane flights, near Kitty Hawk, N.C., using their experimental craft, the Wright Flyer.

On this date:

• In 1777, France recognized American independence.
• In 1830, South American patriot Simon Bolivar died in Colombia.
• In 1925, Col. William "Billy" Mitchell was convicted at his court-martial of insubordination for accusing senior military officials of incompetence and criminal negligence; he was suspended from active duty.
• In 1933, in the inaugural NFL championship football game, the Chicago Bears defeated the New York Giants, 23-21, at Wrigley Field.
• In 1939, the German pocket battleship Admiral Graf Spee was scuttled by its crew, ending the World War II Battle of the River Plate off Uruguay.
• In 1944, the U.S. Army announced it was ending its policy of excluding Japanese-Americans from the West Coast.
• In 1957, the United States successfully test-fired the Atlas intercontinental ballistic missile for the first time.
• In 1975, Lynette Fromme was sentenced in Sacramento, Calif., to life in prison for her attempt on the life of President Gerald R. Ford.
• In 1981, members of the Red Brigades kidnapped Brig. Gen. James L. Dozier, the highest-ranking U.S. Army official in southern Europe, from his home in Verona, Italy. (Dozier was rescued 42 days later.)
• In 1986, Eugene Hasenfus, the American convicted by Nicaragua for his part in running guns to the Contras, was pardoned, then released.

Ten years ago:

• The United States hit Iraq with a second wave of punishing airstrikes.
• Republicans advanced the impeachment case against President Bill Clinton to the House floor for a debate the following day.
• House Speaker-designate Bob Livingston shocked fellow Republicans by admitting he'd had extramarital affairs.

Five years ago:

• Former Illinois Gov. George Ryan was indicted on corruption charges. (Ryan is serving a 6 1/2-year federal prison sentence for racketeering.)
• The British government announced the first reported case of a person dying from the human form of mad cow disease after a blood transfusion from an infected donor.
• An attempt to re-create the Wright brothers' first flight on the 100th anniversary failed to take off.

One year ago:

• President George W. Bush, addressing a Rotary Club meeting, tried to reassure an edgy public that the economy is "pretty good" despite the mix of a failing housing market, a national credit crunch and surging energy costs.
• Iran received its first nuclear fuel from Russia, paving the way for the startup of its reactor.
• Gov. Jon S. Corzine signed a measure making New Jersey the first state to abolish the death penalty in more than 40 years.
• NBC announced that Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien were planning to return to their late-night shows in early 2008, even as the writers' strike continued.

Today's Birthdays:

• Newspaper columnist William Safire is 79.
• Actor Armin Mueller-Stahl is 78.
• Magazine publisher Robert Guccione is 78.
• Actor George Lindsey is 73.
• Singer-actor Tommy Steele is 72.
• Rock singer-musician Art Neville is 71.
• Actor Bernard Hill is 64.
• Actor Christopher Cazenove is 63.
• Actor Ernie Hudson is 63.
• Comedian-actor Eugene Levy is 62.
• Actor Wes Studi is 61.
• Pop musician Jim Bonfanti (The Raspberries) is 60.
• Rock singer Paul Rodgers is 59.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Wanda Hutchinson (The Emotions) is 57.
• Actor Bill Pullman is 55.
• Actor Barry Livingston is 55.
• Country singer Sharon White is 55.
• Producer-director-writer Peter Farrelly is 52.
• Rock musician Mike Mills (R.E.M.) is 50.
• Pop singer Sarah Dallin (Bananarama) is 47.
• Country musician Tim Chewning is 46.
• Country singer Tracy Byrd is 42.
• Country musician Duane Propes is 42.
• DJ Homicide (Sugar Ray) is 38.
• Actor Sean Patrick Thomas is 38.
• Pop-rock musician Eddie Fisher (OneRepublic) is 35.
• Actress Sarah Paulson is 34.
• Actress Marissa Ribisi is 34.
• Actor Giovanni Ribisi is 34.
• Actress Milla Jovovich is 33.
• Singer Bree Sharp is 33.
• Actress Jennifer Carpenter is 29.
• Actress Vanessa Zima is 22.
• Actor-singer Nat Wolff is 14.

Thought for Today:

"The only people who never fail are those who never try."
Ilka Chase, American author, actress, humorist (1905-1978).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-352

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DECEMBER 16TH

Today is Tuesday, Dec. 16, the 351st day of 2008.
There are 15 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On Dec. 16, 1773, the Boston Tea Party took place as American colonists boarded a British ship and dumped more than 300 chests of tea overboard to protest tea taxes.

On this date:

• In 1653, Oliver Cromwell became lord protector of England, Scotland and Ireland.
• In 1770, composer Ludwig van Beethoven was born in Bonn, Germany.
• In 1905, the entertainment trade publication Variety came out with its first weekly issue.
• In 1907, 16 U.S. Navy battleships, which came to be known as the "Great White Fleet," set sail on a 14-month round-the-world voyage to demonstrate American sea power.
• In 1944, the World War II Battle of the Bulge began as German forces launched a surprise attack against Allied forces in Belgium (the Allies were eventually able to beat the Germans back).
• In 1950, President Harry S. Truman proclaimed a national state of emergency in order to fight "world conquest by Communist imperialism."
• In 1960, 134 people were killed when a United Air Lines DC-8 and a TWA Super Constellation collided over New York City.
• In 1976, the government halted its swine flu vaccination program following reports of paralysis apparently linked to the vaccine.
• In 1991, the U.N. General Assembly rescinded its 1975 resolution equating Zionism with racism by a vote of 111-25.
• In 2000, President-elect George W. Bush selected Colin Powell to become the first black secretary of state.

Ten years ago:

• President Bill Clinton ordered a sustained series of airstrikes against Iraq by American and British forces in response to Saddam Hussein's continued defiance of UN weapons inspectors.
• The House delayed a debate set to begin the next day on four articles of impeachment against President Clinton.

Five years ago:

• President George W. Bush signed a number of measures into law, including legislation meant to stem the flood of junk e-mail known as "spam" and a bill to establish a national museum devoted to black history.
• President Bush told ABC News that Saddam Hussein deserved the "ultimate penalty" for his crimes.
• Germany and France, two of the most ardent opponents of the American-led war, agreed to relieve Iraq's debt burden.
• Actress Madlyn Rhue died in Los Angeles at age 68.

One year ago:

• British forces formally handed over to Iraq responsibility for Basra, the last Iraqi region under their control.
• Turkish warplanes hit Kurdish rebel targets in northern Iraq, the largest aerial attack in years against the separatist group.
• Singer-songwriter Dan Fogelberg died in Deer Isle, Maine, at age 56.

Today's Birthdays:

• Civil rights attorney Morris Dees is 72.
• Actress Joyce Bulifant is 71.
• Actress Liv Ullmann is 70.
• CBS news correspondent Lesley Stahl is 67.
• TV producer Steven Bochco is 65.
• Pop musician Tony Hicks (The Hollies) is 63.
• Pop singer Benny Andersson (ABBA) is 62.
• Actor Ben Cross is 61.
• Rock singer-musician Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top) is 59.
• Rock musician Bill Bateman (The Blasters) is 57.
• Actress Alison LaPlaca is 49.
• Actor Sam Robards is 47.
• Actor Jon Tenney is 47.
• Actor Benjamin Bratt is 45.
• Country singer-songwriter Jeff Carson is 45.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Michael McCary is 37.
• Country musician Chris Scruggs is 26.
• Actress Hallee Hirsh is 21.
• Actress Anna Popplewell is 20.

Thought for Today:

"Somewhere in the world there is an epigram for every dilemma."
Hendrik Willem Van Loon, Dutch-born journalist and lecturer (1882-1944).

"Let's all be careful out there!"