DAILY CHUCKLE 8-220

"Let's all be careful out there!"

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

THE OLYMPICS BEGIN TODAY

I know, the Games don't start until 8/8/08. But that is what the date is on the other side of the IDL. Or will be a few hours after this post goes live. Its simple to calculate. Start with the square root of negative one. Divide that by pi. Add 6 and subtract the sun's declination and right ascension. Factor in the numerical value of you first pets name.....
No. Wait. Those are the instructions from last years 1040 form.

How many years (and $$) to convict a man for being Osama bin Laden's driver? Definitely a desirable high profile target in the "War on Terror". For this he's probably going to get a life sentence. I wonder if those Secret Service Agents assigned to protect the President are taking note? They might be subject to a similar fate if "fearless leader" is ever brought to justice.


Greyhound Bus, in Canada, is scraping their latest ad campaign extrolling the pleasure of traveling the country.via their vehicles. I wonder if they are going to change their logo also? May I suggest the "headless horseman".

Two sides of the coin:
Afghan roadside bomb incidents hit four-year peak

Iraq Roadside Bomb Attacks Drop to Record Low, U.S. Army Says

Obviouly the University of Texas did not calculate in the "dumb blonde" factor.

An interesting quiz of your science-current events knowledge.

Look out Colonel Steve Austin. Science is rapidly catching up to science fiction.

So, you thought that the debate over Pluto's classification within our solar system was resolved? Not quite so. And its fun to read scientists discuss/debate their positions on a subject. No emotion, just logic of varying criterial parameters.

I am a sane, rational, intelligent person. So why do I want to break both this kids legs and arms? And wrap my putter around his neck? Okay he deserves congratulations but I doubt he followed the tradition of buying the clubhouse a round of drinks.

What was it that I was saying about the crowd at Sturgis being the demographic that McCain is seeking?





Now this is funny. In Elgin, IL, a Chicago suburb, a carwash advertises "The Best Hand Job In Town". Which is perfectly legal. But the reporter covering the story hems and haws throughout the article without ever actually reporting what the sign said.

Ever wonder about what ever became of those

"PERFECT SEASON
19-0"

t-shirts that the New England Patriots had made before the Super Bowl and before the New York Giants altered that reality.?

In the Forbes Survey of the 10 Fastest Dying Cities In America, the heart of the "rust-belt", Ohio, has four listings. Ummm. I guess "Congratulations!" are NOT in order.

Is there one person out there who didn't think this was eventually going to happen?

"How did it happen, mum?"
"Well he was swallowing a bunch of fairies..."

The above image is the new first-class mail postage stamp. Grap some if you can. They are going to be a collectors item. Can you see why?

hint:How many original colonies were there?

Have a FANTASTIC DAY!
Thanks for stopping over.
Hope to see y'all again real, real soon.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

A STROLL DOWN MEMORY LANE

For a few of you, the above is going to bring back a lot of memories. The rest of you are going WTF? Thanks, Joel^

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Thanks, James^

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"Let's all be careful out there!"

AUGUST 6TH

***
Today is Wednesday, August 6, the 219th day of 2008.
There are 147 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On August 6, 1945, during World War II, the United States dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima, Japan, resulting in an estimated 140,000 deaths in the first use of a nuclear weapon in warfare.

On this date:

• In 1806, the Holy Roman Empire went out of existence as Emperor Francis II abdicated.
• In 1825, Upper Peru became the autonomous republic of Bolivia.
• In 1890, convicted murderer William Kemmler became the first person to be executed in the electric chair as he was put to death at Auburn State Prison in New York.
• In 1926, Gertrude Ederle of New York became the first woman to swim the English Channel, arriving in Kingsdown, England, from France in 14 1/2 hours.
• In 1926, Warner Brothers premiered its Vitaphone sound-on-disc movie system in New York with a showing of "Don Juan" featuring music and sound effects.
• In 1962, Jamaica became an independent dominion within the British Commonwealth.
• In 1965, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed the Voting Rights Act.
• In 1978, Pope Paul VI died at Castel Gandolfo at age 80.
• In 1986, William J. Schroeder died after living 620 days with the Jarvik 7 artificial heart.
• In 1997, Korean Air Flight 801 crashed into a hillside a short distance from Guam International Airport, killing 228 of the 254 aboard the Boeing 747.

Ten years ago:

• Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky spent 8 1/2 hours testifying before a grand jury about her relationship with President Clinton.
• The House Government Reform and Oversight Committee voted to cite Attorney General Janet Reno for contempt of Congress for her refusal to turn over reports recommending that she seek an independent counsel to investigate campaign fund-raising.

Five years ago:

• Actor Arnold Schwarzenegger used an appearance on NBC's "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" to announce his successful bid to replace California Gov. Gray Davis. The same day, Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante said he was entering the recall race as well.
• Israel freed 334 Palestinian prisoners in a bid to jump-start peace efforts -- but the gesture fell flat among Palestinians.
• Record-breaking heat, already blamed for three dozen deaths, continued to torment Europe.

One year ago:

• The Crandall Canyon Mine in central Utah collapsed, trapping six coal miners. (All six miners died, along with three would-be rescuers.)
• President Bush wrapped up two days of talks with Afghan President Hamid Karzai at Camp David.
• Baron Elie Robert de Rothschild, who helped France's Rothschild winemaking and banking dynasty recover from the ravages of World War II, died near Scharnitz, Austria, at age 90.

Today's Birthdays:

• Actress-singer Abbey Lincoln is 78.
• Jazz musician Charlie Haden is 71.
• Actor-director Peter Bonerz is 70.
• Actor Michael Anderson Junior is 65.
• Actor Dorian Harewood is 58.
• Actress Catherine Hicks is 57.
• Rock singer Pat MacDonald (Timbuk 3) is 56.
• Country musician Mark DuFresne (Confederate Railroad) is 55.
• Actress Stepfanie Kramer is 52.
• Actress Faith Prince is 51.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Randy DeBarge is 50.
• Actor Leland Orser is 48.
• Country singers Peggy and Patsy Lynn are 44.
• Actor Jeremy Ratchford is 43.
• Country singer Lisa Stewart is 40.
• Movie writer-director M. Night Shyamalan is 38.
• Actress Merrin Dungey is 37.
• Singer Geri Halliwell is 36.
• Singer-actor David Campbell is 35.
• Actress Vera Farmiga is 35.
• Actress Ever Carradine is 34.
• Actress Soleil Moon Frye is 32.
• Rock singer Travis McCoy (Gym Class Heroes) is 27.
• Rock musician Eric Roberts (Gym Class Heroes) is 24.

Thought for Today:

"An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't."
Anatole France, French author (1844-1924).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-219

"Let's all be careful out there!"

"THAT WRINKLY WHITE-HAIRED GUY"

PARIS HILTON RESPONDS TO McCAIN


Funny, but sorry Paris. You have to be at least 35 years old to be President. And, with the aid of the worlds best plastic surgeons, you won't reach that age for another 40 or 50 years. I am amazed though that she sounded even more eloquent that either candidate. And her idea makes sense. Now if she could just do something about her bladder control problem while in cabs. Of course it could be worse. At least she doesn't shit on people like Dubya does. And when she gets on her knees to apologize for America's sins against the world, you know there's going to be a line around the block waiting to accept the gesture. And if we video and sell it on the web, we could balance the budget.

This is McCain's latest TV spot promo:

Strange, back in January he was telling us how much better off America was then than 8 years ago. Now he telling us that we are worse off now than 4 years ago and America is broken. I guess his witch doctors changed his meds. Poor wrinkly, white-haired guy.

Ted Stevens, the Republican Senator from Alaska who wanted to build a "bridge-to-nowhere" and in now under indictment for accepting (non-reported) gifts from oil companies, is up for reelection this year. That explains why he joins 5 other Senators in skipping this cycle's GOP convention. Oh, rumors are that "dead-eye" Dick Cheney won't be attending either. Ever get the feeling that his undisclosed secured retreat is the VIP lounge at Gitmo, where he gets his rocks off watching the interrogations "live"?

The water that was discovered on Mars last week might be like a watering hole in Death Valley. You know, the ones with the cattle skulls littered ominiously around the rim. Turns out that it was chuck full of "percolate". A salt mineral that most species would find poisonous here on Earth. But we already know from terrestrial observations that life here seems to adapt to that type of glitch. At least on the microbial level.



Back on August 28, 1859, a solar superstorm occurred that disrupted telegraphs and allowed the auras to be seen as far south as the tip of Florida. If that happened today, we would all revert back to that age's level of technology in a matter of seconds. It would probably fry your car's electronics. Wipeout satellites, disrupt electrical service globally. Only those few military installations and equipment with emp protection would continue to function. And have no one to communicate with other than each other. We have really bad solar storms every 50 years or so and "super solar storms" every 500 years. We are entering that time cycle again.

You might not be a drug user but there is a good chance those bills in your wallet might have been handled in the drug trade.

TSA will now allow you to leave your laptop in its carrycase, if said case is one approved by that agency. Probably did this so its easier for them to handle the laptops they confiscate.

At the end of this story they list the criminal charges pending against the lanlord. What he probably doesn't realize is that these folks have a really great civil case at their finger tips also. Like good enough that they'll own most of what the landlord has. But considering this idiots anger management issues, he'll probably just have them killed.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

FIREFLY - OBJECTS IN SPACE (episode 14) final episode

I have moved all my Firefly episodes to my other blog.

Just click here.

These episodes are now independent of the Hulu feed and will not continuously disappear.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

AUGUST 5TH

***

Today is Tuesday, August 5, the 218th day of 2008.
There are 148 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:
On August 5, 1858, the first trans-Atlantic telegraph cable, the dreamchild of American businessman Cyrus Field, was laid between Newfoundland and Ireland. (However, after several weeks of use, the cable burned out.)
On this date:

• In 1864, during the Civil War, Union Adm. David G. Farragut led his fleet to victory in the Battle of Mobile Bay, Ala.
• In 1884, the cornerstone for the Statue of Liberty's pedestal was laid on Bedloe's Island in New York Harbor.
• In 1914, one of the first, if not the first, electric traffic light systems was installed in Cleveland, Ohio, at the intersection of 105th Street and Euclid Avenue.
• In 1924, the comic strip "Little Orphan Annie," by Harold Gray, made its debut.
• In 1933, President Franklin D. Roosevelt established the National Labor Board, which was later replaced with the National Labor Relations Board.
• In 1953, Operation Big Switch began as prisoners taken during the Korean conflict were exchanged at Panmunjom.
• In 1962, actress Marilyn Monroe, 36, was found dead in her Los Angeles home; her death was ruled a probable suicide from an overdose of sleeping pills.
• In 1963, the United States, Britain and the Soviet Union signed a treaty in Moscow banning nuclear tests in the atmosphere, in space and underwater.
• In 1968, the Republican national convention convened in Miami Beach.
• In 1981, the federal government began firing air traffic controllers who had gone out on strike.

Ten years ago:

• Iraqi President Saddam Hussein broke off cooperation with U.N. weapons inspectors and demanded the commission monitoring the weapons be reorganized.
• Marie Noe of Philadelphia was arrested and charged with first-degree murder, accused of smothering eight of her children to death between 1949 and 1968. (Noe later received 20 years' probation.)

Five years ago:

• Episcopal leaders in Minneapolis voted to approve the election of the Rev. V. Gene Robinson, an openly gay clergyman, as bishop of the Diocese of New Hampshire.
• A car bombing at the Marriott hotel in Jakarta, Indonesia, killed 12 people.

One year ago:

• President Bush and Afghan President Hamid Karzai began meeting at Camp David to discuss security issues in Afghanistan.
• Lorena Ochoa won the Women's British Open — the first women's professional tournament played at venerable St. Andrews — for her first major title.
• Cardinal Jean-Marie Lustiger, one of the most influential Roman Catholic figures in France, died in Paris at age 80.
• Comedian Stanley Myron Handelman died in Panorama City, Calif., at age 77.

Today's Birthdays:

• Former astronaut Neil A. Armstrong is 78.
• Country singer Vern Gosdin is 74.
• Actress Cammie King ("Gone with the Wind") is 74.
• Actor John Saxon is 73.
• Actor Zakes Mokae is 73.
• Country songwriter Bobby Braddock is 68.
• Rock musician Rick Huxley (The Dave Clark Five) is 66.
• Actress Loni Anderson is 62.
• Actress Erika Slezak is 62.
• Rock singer Rick Derringer is 61.
• Actress Holly Palance is 58.
• Singer Samantha Sang is 55.
• Actress-singer Maureen McCormick is 52.
• Rock musician Pat Smear is 49.
• Actress Tawney Kitaen is 47.
• Country musician Mark O'Connor is 47.
• Rapper MCA (The Beastie Boys) is 44.
• Actor Jonathan Silverman is 42.
• Country singer Terri Clark is 40.
• Actor Brendon Ryan Barrett is 22.

Thought for Today:

"I slept, and dreamed that life was Beauty; I woke, and found that life was Duty."
Ellen Sturgis Hooper, American poet (1816-1841).

"Let's all be careful out there!"