DAILY CHUCKLE 8-218

"Let's all be careful out there!"

McCAIN'S DEMOGRAPHIC

IS FINALLY IDENTIFIED


Associated story
And if for some reason you've never heard of Sturgis.

Now if I am reading this correctly, our choice is between a stick-in-the-mud or a willow-wisp.
I guess it really doesn't matter much either way. Anything will be an improvement over the pothole we've endured the last, almost, 8 years.

Why is it that I envision a pay toilet paper dispenser in the airline industry's immediate future?
Or maybe the movie will be like an adult book store's video arcade. So much viewing time for each quarter inserted.

And if you didn't already believe that the basic infrastructure of America isn't unraveling faster than a Wal-Mart sweater. Even the various segments of the infrastructure are going nose-to-nose against each other.



$14 frakking million for pics of two kids with semi-famous, quasi-celebrity parents? Okay Lord, we await the trump and shout. Eagerly await. You there Lord? Hello!? What do you mean his copy of People hasn't arrived yet. So much for the all seeing, all knowing bull-shit.



No problem. Steal a pickup truck. Do a little cruisin'. Have the stolen vehicle car-jacked from you. Wait! What? How'd that one get on the agenda?

Have a great day everyone. Thanks for visiting.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

FIREFLY - HEART OF GOLD (episode 13)

I have moved all my Firefly episodes to my other blog.

Just click here.

These episodes are now independent of the Hulu feed and will not continuously disappear.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

AUGUST 4TH

***

Today is Monday, August 4, the 217th day of 2008.
There are 149 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On August 4, 1944, Nazi police raided the secret annex of a building in Amsterdam and arrested eight people, including 15-year-old Anne Frank, whose diary became a famous account of the Holocaust. (Anne died at the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp some seven months later.)

On this date:

• In 1735, a jury acquitted John Peter Zenger of the New York Weekly Journal of seditious libel.
• In 1790, the Coast Guard had its beginnings as the Revenue Cutter Service.
• In 1792, English romantic poet Percy Bysshe Shelley was born at Field Place near Horsham, England.
• In 1830, plans for the city of Chicago were laid out.
• In 1892, Andrew and Abby Borden were axed to death in their home in Fall River, Mass. Lizzie Borden, Andrew's daughter from a previous marriage, was accused of the killings, but acquitted at trial.
• In 1900, Britain's Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother, was born.
• In 1916, the United States reached agreement with Denmark to purchase the Danish Virgin Islands for $25 million.
• In 1964, the bodies of missing civil rights workers Michael Schwerner, Andrew Goodman and James Chaney were found buried in an earthen dam in Mississippi.
• In 1977, President Carter signed a measure establishing the Department of Energy.
• In 1987, the Federal Communications Commission voted to abolish the Fairness Doctrine, which required radio and television stations to present balanced coverage of controversial issues.

Ten years ago:

• Turning aside an urgent White House appeal, Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist cleared the way for prosecutors to question White House lawyers about their advice to President Clinton in the Monica Lewinsky case.
• The Dow Jones industrial average plunged 299.43 points, finishing at 8,487.31.

Five years ago:

• California Gov. Gray Davis asked the state Supreme Court to delay his Oct. 7 recall election until the following March (the recall went ahead as originally scheduled).
• West African forces arrived in Liberia to oversee the departure of President Charles Taylor.
• Chung Mong-hun, a top executive of South Korea's Hyundai conglomerate embroiled in a scandal over a historic 2000 summit between the two Koreas, committed suicide.

One year ago:

• President Bush toured the site of a collapsed highway bridge in Minneapolis, pledging to cut red tape that could delay rebuilding.
• Three students, Iofemi Hightower, Terrance Aeriel and Dashon Harvey, were shot to death execution-style in Newark, N.J.
• Barry Bonds tied Hank Aaron's 755 career home runs as his San Francisco Giants lost 3-2 to the San Diego Padres.
• Alex Rodriguez became, at age 32, the youngest player in major league history to hit 500 home runs with a first-inning homer in a 16-8 victory over Kansas City.

Today's Birthdays:

• Journalist Helen Thomas is 88.
• Singer Frankie Ford is 69.
• Actress-singer Tina Cole is 65.
• Actor-comedian Richard Belzer is 64.
• Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is 53.
• Actor-screenwriter Billy Bob Thornton is 53.
• Actress Kym Karath ("The Sound of Music") is 50.
• Track star Mary Decker Slaney is 50.
• Actress Lauren Tom is 49.
• Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., is 47.
• TV producer Michael Gelman ("Live with Regis and Kelly") is 47.
• Baseball pitcher Roger Clemens is 46.
• Actress Crystal Chappell is 43.
• Author Dennis Lehane is 43.
• Rock musician Rob Cieka (Boo Radleys) is 40.
• Actor Daniel Dae Kim is 40.
• Actor Michael DeLuise is 39.
• Actor Ron Lester is 38.
• Rapper-actress Yo-Yo is 37.
• Country singer Jon Nicholson is 35.
• Actor Andy Hallett is 33.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer-actor Marques Houston is 27.
• Actors Cole and Dylan Sprouse are 16.

Thought for Today:

"Poetry is the record of the best and happiest moments of the happiest and best minds."
Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-217

"Let's all be careful out there!"

SCHOOLS HAVE AN ATTITUDE

OF DISCOURAGEMENT



Another LLDE candidate and this time its a woman. Thats the nice thing about stupidity. Its equal opportunity.

Many people fail to take into account that British Colonialism is what made the world as we know it today. And that is a positive statement.



School life 120 plus years ago in the west, specifically Billings MT, was sure different than what they have today.

Some criminals just have no luck. No luck at all.

Especially if you are living along the border between Canada and the US, the term "pleasure boating" has become a complete misnomer.

Baroness Margaret Thatcher, 82, is in ill health.but is still kickin'. So finding out that her staff, Prime Minister Gordon Brown's staff and the Queen's staff are planning a State funeral for her must be disconcerting. To quote Mark Twain, "Rumors of my demise are highly exaggerated."

North Korea to expel South Koreans from tourist resort. In other news, North Korea has a tourist resort!?!

Following this line of logic, Tom Clancy and Clive Cussler had best be careful about what they write in their next books. Hmmm. Didn't Clancy have a story about a terrorist who hijacked a plane and crashed it into the US Capitol Building? Also detonating a WMD in Denver, a national biological attack and terrorists trying to kill the First Family. Maybe we should ask him to our resort down in south Cuba.

Give me a break! Does anyone really care what type of shoes a candidate wears? When this is the best the media can produce, you know its slow around the newsroom assignment desk.

Does anyone else get the feeling that British lawmakers really don't like their citizens? Of course, after reading the British cop-blogs, I doubt if anyone would ever be prosecuted. And if they were, then that police department is overstaffed. This would have to be a low priority call.

And speaking of trashcans.

Did you know that the last ice age, circa 11,000bce, happened in less than a year?

The "Kevin Bacon" theory is proven, according to MicroSoft. Studies of text messages show everyone within 6.6 degrees of each other. Those who don't text are ordered, er, requested to report to the Soylent Food Processing Center.

Even the "rich" are feeling the pain of this down economy.

NYPD is the best PD that money can buy:


Have a great week. Its Monday and the "rat race" begins anew.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

FIREFLY - THE MESSAGE (episode 12_

I have moved all my Firefly episodes to my other blog.

Just click here.

These episodes are now independent of the Hulu feed and will not continuously disappear.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

AUGUST 3RD

***

Today is Sunday, August 3, the 216th day of 2008.
There are 150 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On August 3, 1958, the nuclear-powered submarine USS Nautilus became the first vessel to cross the North Pole underwater.

On this date:

• In 1492, Christopher Columbus set sail from Palos, Spain, on a voyage that took him to the present-day Americas.
• In 1807, former Vice President Aaron Burr went on trial before a federal court in Richmond, Va., charged with treason. (He was acquitted less than a month later.)
• In 1914, Germany declared war on France at the onset of World War I.
• In 1923, Calvin Coolidge was sworn in as the 30th president of the United States, following the death of Warren G. Harding.
• In 1943, Gen. George S. Patton slapped a private at an army hospital in Sicily, accusing him of cowardice. (Patton was later ordered by Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower to apologize for this and a second, similar episode.)
• In 1948, former Communist Whittaker Chambers, testifying before the House Un-American Activities Committee, accused former State Department official Alger Hiss of having been part of a Communist cell, a charge Hiss denied.
• In 1949, the National Basketball Association was formed as a merger of the Basketball Association of America and the National Basketball League.
• In 1980, closing ceremonies were held in Moscow for the Summer Olympic Games, which had been boycotted by dozens of countries, including the United States.
• In 1981, U.S. air traffic controllers went on strike, despite a warning from President Reagan they would be fired, which they were.
• In 1988, the Soviet Union released Mathias Rust, the young West German pilot who had landed a light plane near Moscow's Red Square in May 1987.

Ten years ago:

• The White House played down the possibility that President Clinton would reverse previous statements and admit to a sexual relationship with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky when he testified before a grand jury.

Five years ago:

• The Episcopal Church's House of Deputies further paved the way for the Rev. V. Gene Robinson to become the church's first openly gay elected bishop, approving him on a 128-63 vote.
• Annika Sorenstam completed a career Grand Slam at the Women's British Open, beating Se Ri Pak by a stroke in a thrilling head-to-head showdown.
• Hank Stram, Marcus Allen, James Lofton, Elvin Bethea and Joe DeLamielleure were inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

One year ago:

• A jury at Camp Pendleton, Calif., sentenced Marine Sgt. Lawrence G. Hutchins III to 15 years in prison for the murder of an Iraqi civilian during a fruitless search for an insurgent.
• Iraqis welcomed home their soccer team, which had won the Asian Cup.

Today's Birthdays:

• Author P.D. James is 88.
• Broadway composer Richard Adler is 87.
• Singer Gordon Stoker (The Jordanaires) is 84.
• Singer Tony Bennett is 82.
• Actor Martin Sheen is 68.
• Lifestyle guru Martha Stewart is 67.
• Singer Beverly Lee (The Shirelles) is 67.
• Rock musician B.B. Dickerson is 59.
• Movie director John Landis is 58.
• Actress JoMarie Payton is 58.
• Actor Jay North ("Dennis the Menace") is 57.
• Country musician Randy Scruggs is 55.
• Actor John C. McGinley is 49.
  
• Rock singer-musician Lee Rocker (The Stray Cats) is 47.
• Rock singer James Hetfield (Metallica) is 45.
• Rock singer-musician Ed Roland (Collective Soul) is 45.
• Actor Isaiah Washington is 45.
• Country musician Dean Sams (Lonestar) is 42.
• Rock musician Stephen Carpenter (Deftones) is 38.
• Hip-hop artist Spinderella (Salt-N-Pepa) is 37.
• Actress Brigid Brannagh is 36.
• Actress Evangeline (ee-VAN'-gel-een) Lilly is 29.
• Singer Holly Arnstein (Dream) is 23.

Thought for Today:

"The soul of a civilization is its religion, and it dies with its faith."
Will (1885-1981) and Ariel Durant (1898-1981), American historians.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-216

"Let's all be careful out there!"

REVEILLE

The official rules of the Bejing Olympics are out. No, not the rules of the games. The rules that China plans on enforcing on the visitors to their country.

Maybe the Brits better stay home.

Which causes other problems.

And probably gives reason to new British police tactics.

The Chinese are also releasing their own version of the fashion police.

First it was British Columbia. Now a foot has washed up on a Lake Huron beach in Michigan. Is this a new trend?

I think I would have been tipped off by the car he was driving. Few cops could afford that.

A liquid lake has been found on Titan, Saturn's moon.

Scientists now have a working simulation that seems to explain how the earliest proto-stars were formed at the beginning of time.

Enjoy your Sunday and thanks for the visit.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

FIREFLY - TRASH (episode 11)

I have moved all my Firefly episodes to my other blog.

Just click here.

These episodes are now independent of the Hulu feed and will not continuously disappear.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

AUGUST 2ND

Today is Saturday, August 2, the 215th day of 2008. There are 151 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On August 2, 1776, members of the Continental Congress began attaching their signatures to the Declaration of Independence.

On this date:

• In 1790, the enumeration for the first United States census began; the final total was 3,929,214.
• In 1873, inventor Andrew S. Hallidie successfully tested a cable car he had designed for the city of San Francisco.
• In 1876, frontiersman "Wild Bill" Hickok was shot and killed while playing poker at a saloon in Deadwood, Dakota Territory.
• In 1923, the 29th president of the United States, Warren G. Harding, died in San Francisco.
• In 1927, four years after becoming president, Calvin Coolidge issued a written statement to reporters: "I do not choose to run for President in 1928."
• In 1934, German President Paul von Hindenburg died, paving the way for Adolf Hitler's complete takeover.
• In 1939, Albert Einstein signed a letter to President Roosevelt urging creation of an atomic weapons research program.
• In 1943, during World War II, Navy boat PT-109, commanded by Lt. John F. Kennedy, sank after being rammed by the Japanese destroyer Amagiri off the Solomon Islands.
• In 1964, the destroyer USS Maddox suffered light damage from North Vietnamese patrol torpedo boats in the Gulf of Tonkin.
• In 1990, Iraq invaded Kuwait, seizing control of the oil-rich emirate. (The Iraqis were later driven out in Operation Desert Storm.)

Ten years ago:

• Cyclist Marco Pantani of Italy won the Tour de France, which had been marred by a doping scandal.
• Ventriloquist Shari Lewis died in Los Angeles at age 65.

Five years ago:

• Saddam Hussein's two elder sons and a grandson were buried as martyrs near the deposed Iraqi leader's hometown of Tikrit, where insurgents afterward attacked U.S. troops with three remote-controlled bombs.
• Liberian President Charles Taylor agreed to cede power.

One year ago:

• Mattel apologized to customers as it recalled nearly a million Chinese-made toys from its Fisher-Price division that were found to have excessive amounts of lead.
• A Marine Corps squad leader was convicted at Camp Pendleton, Calif., of murdering an Iraqi man during a frustrated search for an insurgent. (Sgt. Lawrence G. Hutchins III was sentenced to 15 years in prison.)
• Two small Russian submarines completed a voyage below the North Pole where they planted the country's flag on the Arctic Ocean floor.

Today's Birthdays:

• Former Sen. Paul Laxalt, R-Nev., is 86.
• Actor Peter O'Toole is 76.
• Country singer Hank Cochran is 73.
• Rock musician Garth Hudson (The Band) is 71.
• Movie director Wes Craven is 69.
• Singer Kathy Lennon (The Lennon Sisters) is 65.
• Actor Max Wright is 65.
• Actress Joanna Cassidy is 63.
• Actress Kathryn Harrold is 58.
• Singer Andrew Gold is 57.
• Actor Butch Patrick ("The Munsters") is 55.
• Singer Mojo Nixon is 51.
• Actress Victoria Jackson is 49.
• Actress Apollonia is 49.
• Actress Cynthia Stevenson is 46.
• Actress Mary-Louise Parker is 44.
• Rock musician John Stanier is 40.
• Writer-actor-director Kevin Smith is 38.
• Actor Edward Furlong is 31.
• Rock musician Devon Glenn is 28.
• Actress Hallie Eisenberg is 16.

Thought for Today:

"A man who does not lose his reason over certain things has none to lose."
Gotthold Ephraim Lessing, German dramatist (1729-1781).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-215

"Let's all be careful out there!"

A SATURDAY STROLL...

THROUGH THE NEWS



Segway, meet the Toyota Winglet.

New Homeland Security rules now allows border agents to confiscate laptops, ipods, miscellaneous papers and pocket trash from all persons (including US citizens) for no reason other than they didn't blink the right number of times when passing through Customs. All these items, and more, may be transported to off-site locations for further scrutiny and decryption. Exactly how many of the towers on 9/11 were brought down by an mp3 player? George Orwell had everything right, except the time-line.

Besides, DHS has a shopping list of problems.

While I can't fault the concept, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) now can regulate tobacco products. The same FDA that allowed poisoned medications in from China. That won't allow the import of cheaper phamaceuticals from Canada, even though they are made in the USA. That gave us Phen fen, Thamaldahyde, and countless more disasters. The same FDA that destroyed this year's tomato crop, when the problem was peppers. I often wonder if the "witches" of yore weren't as effective.

If you are a snorer the odds are you probably have sleep apnea. Which raises your chances of dying. Considerably!

As I've mentioned before, Alzheimer's Disease runs in my family (mother, maternal grandfather). It now appears that overthinking, worrying and ruminating may slow the disease's progress. I may have to sit and ponder that for awhile.



One destroyer. One mk-48 torpedo. Result: Kiss the boat goodbye.


This new type of torpedo doesn't actually strike the target vessel. Instead, it detonates just beneath the keel. Effectively breaking the ship's back.

I wonder if hiring a hitman to kill an IRS agent doing an audit of your business is a deductable business expense? Probably not.

Forget about casinos on indian reservations. The new concept is to erect power plants.

I checked and "slick Willy" is not associated with this law firm. But I bet he wishes he were.

66% of Americans are overweight. 32% are obese. How can skinny Obama be a "common person"?





Have a great weekend!

"Let's all be careful out there!"