DAILY CHUCKLE

Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive

"Let's all be careful out there!"

IT AIN'T OVER...

'TIL THE FAT LADY (in the pantsuit) SINGS

While all the other candidates took Sunday off for Mother's Day, the only true "mother" in the campaign kept on impersonating the Energizer Bunny. The fact is she can't afford to quit acting like a viable candidate. She has $11 million of her own money at stake. Money that she only has a chance of recouping if she stays in the race. I am sure that her "people" and Obama's "people" are working in some back room to cut a deal where she will drop out if his organization pays off her debt. I wonder if she would accept the Ambassadorship to Somalia?

***

One thing that both McCain and Clinton agree on is the "Gas Tax Holiday" for this summer. So, if they get their wish, what do you, the motoring public, receive in return? Not very much, actually. The Fed tax is 18.4¢ a (US)gallon. So on 20 gallons you would only save $3.68. Or, at 1 20-gallon tank of fuel per week, about $55 during the 15 weeks between Memorial Day and Labor Day (your savings may vary depending on your driving habits). WOW!. Also the fact that neither candidate can find one notable economist to endorse their idea says one hell of a lot. And how much would this cost all of us in the long run. Oh, as much as $9 billion in federal revenue for road and bridge construction. Or the equivalent of 51 days of the Iraqi War.

***

A very strong (7.5 magnitude) and shallow (29 miles) earthquake struck China today at 06:28 UTC. Thats about 300 times stronger than the one the middle of America felt earlier this year. It was felt in Bangkok, Thailand, 2500 miles away, where tall buildings swayed for some long minutes. Officals haven't been able to make contact with the area near the epicenter and have no idea as to structural damage and injuries/deaths in that part of the country. Here are the latest stories.

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You have to give credit to that Aussie swimmer attacked by a Great White Shark this weekend. I am not sure that I would have had the presence of mind to poke and gouge its eye as he did.

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I think I am going to hold off on installing the new XP SP-3. I've seen acrobatics acts that looked more simple to do. Besides this latest, and allegedly last, seems to create more problems than it solves. Who wants to wake up, turn on their PC and be faced with "the blue screen of death"? Not a fun way to start your day.

***

Thank you very much for stopping in. I'll be back later with more. Have a fantastic day!

Mahalo

Aloha

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THE PICTURE GALLERY

Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive

"Let's all be careful out there!"

THE WEEKEND COMES TO A GRINDING HALT

ITS MONDAY TOMORROW
Those feeling a need to shoot me must take a number and queue up on the left <-- <-- <--

This is sooo 21st century. But it only applies to Macs. Your computer is taken, via a burglay or a theft and the crook uses it to go on-line. New programs that either come standard on the Mac or options that can be added later, allow you to snap a picture of whomever is using the computer. There are documented cases of people using these features to aid the police in tracking down and recovering the missing item. Now that is kewl! The good ol' boys up in Redmond WA need to look into this for all of us PC users.

***

The JavaOne software conference at the Moscone Center in San Francisco last week got infected by a virus. No, not a computer virus but a real life "I don't feel good" one. 70 people were diagnosed as having contracted a highly contagious norovirus Easily spread, especially if people don't wash their hands and we all know that a keyboard is dirtier than a toilet seat. The moral of the story? Always wear your latex gloves when getting intimate with a strange computer.

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In case you missed it, "snail mail" postal rates are going up tomorrow.

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We all have stories about vacations that didn't quite go according to Hoyle. This lady's cocktail hour conversations are going to be interesting.

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Gee, it only seems like last week that she was making the headlines for her drunken college escapades, doesn't it? Well Jenna Bush, Dubya's 26 year old daughter, was wed yesterday at the family ranch in Crawford TX. I believe congratulations are in order.

Guests were transported to the nuptial site via chauffered luxury coaches.

Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive

"Let's all be careful out there!"

HEROES RETURNS

THIS FALL


With a 3-hour season premiere. I can hardly wait. The WGA strike really screwed up television this year. Of course they proved their worth by all the "reality" shows that were hastily rushed into production to fill the time slots. Is anyone else as tired of these insults to our intelligence as I am? Probably explains why I haven't watched any of the BIG-4 (ABC, CBS, FOX, NBC) networks this year. I spend my time up the "dial" at the larger numbered cable channels for my entertainment.

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You heard about the guy in Omaha who gave himself a tracheotomy, didn't you? Turns out this was the second time he has done that.

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In the "SOMETIMES IT DOESN'T PAY TO GET OUT OF BED" Dept., this guy is a real winner.

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Don't get me wrong. I love kids. Even the most brattiest of them but this woman, and her husband, is stretching (pun intended) the limits.

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I thought everyone knew this. The nurturing and bonding a mother gives her child has life-long effects.

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Ten years ago today, a French mint struck the very first €uro. I hear it has become very successful.

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People are worried that when the LHC (Large Hadron Collider) goes "on-line" this fall that it will create black holes and suck the Earth out of existence. I am not, as I've said before. What will be interesting is whether the "String Theory" will be validated. One of the requirements would be evidence that there are more than the 4 dimensions that we are aware of. In fact, there could be as many as 11. At least thats what the mathematics of quantum mechanics seems to indicate. No, I don't even begin to pretend to understand those strange symbols that level of math uses. In fact I have to wait until somebody translates the research papers into decipherable English before I can, somewhat, grasp it. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't hold a certain fascination. Exploring what "IT" all means.

Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE - MOTHER'S DAY

Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive

"Let's all be careful out there!"

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

100th ANNIVERSAY

According to the Associated Press, today marks the centennial of celebrating "Mother's Day". Wikipedia has some slightly different dates. And don't forget that other countries celebrate at other times of the year.

***

Burma/Myanmar is starting to accept aid and relief supplies but still refuses to allow foreign personnel to enter the country to make distribution. Estimates are that the death toll could easily surpass 100,000 but who will ever know. Independent confirmation is not being allowed. Its Katrina, albeit on a larger scale.

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As Dubya nears his retirement from public life (I hope), he has a pretty full agenda on his travel schedule. Included will be a worthless trip to meet Israel's prime minister and the Palestinian president, at different times and places. There is little he can hope to accomplish. The trip will be more symbolic than substantial. But, then again, what else does he have to do? His only legislative work left is threatening to veto any laws passed by a Democratic Congress.

I wonder if he lays abed at night relishing in the knowledge that about 25% of the country likes him? Wouldn't surprise me.

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This week a compromise 5-year Farm Aid bill, hammered out by both sides of the aisle of both Houses, will reach the President's desk. He has already announced that it will be D.O.A. When he inks his veto, it will be sent back to both Houses, where an override will most likely occur. Something that has happened rarely, if ever, in Dubya's term. What our esteemed leader wants is a two-year extention to his 2002 Farm Aid Act. If the override fails, then the country will revert back to the baseline 1949 Act, effectively doubling and tripling farm benefits.

***

Thanks much for dropping by. Do something nice for your Mom today. I'll have more here later, should you care to stop back over.

Mahalo

Aloha

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THE PICTURE GALLERY

Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive

"Let's all be careful out there!"