AH! SHIT!!

CONTROL. WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

As a Deputy Sheriff I was also a Deputy Coroner. This meant that the beat deputy had to respond to all unattended death cases. Accidents, homicides, suicides, drug overdoses, natural causes. It wasn't always pleasant but after a bit you became immune to what you saw.

She had not been seen by her neighbors for over a week. It was winter. The neighbors were worried and called the local police, who responded with the local ambulance service. After the normal waiting for permissions and the arrival of the Fire Department, who had the necessary equipment to force entry in the least destructive manner, the door was popped.

The thermostat in the house was set at almost 90f (32c). They found her, deceased, on her bed. Nothing could be done until the Coroner's Office (me) arrived to take charge of her remains and to secure her property. There were no signs of foul play and given that she was nearly 85 years old, all the signs pointed to "Death By Natural Cause".

Contacted next of kin, who requested that her body be transported to a local mortuary.

It was time to place the corpus into a "body bag" for transportation.

After all that time AND all that heat, putrification was pretty ripe. The body had bloated badly. Skin stretched to its limit. As soon as we attempted to move her, her abdominal cavity ruptured. I was use to the smell of death but this was beyond my capabilities to handle. Beyond anyone's capabilities.

Five grown men made an immediate exit out the bedroom door. All at the same time! Considering that most doorways will only allow the passage of one, possibly two people at a time, the issue became problematic. Forget about manners. Forget about politeness. Every person there had the same thought:

Just get me out that door while I can still breath!

The odor had permeated the entire house as we fought each other towards the front door and the blessed beauty of the smog choked "fresh" air outside. Even holding one's breath was futile. The aroma was so strong that you could taste it. See it. Feel it.

Those waiting outside erupted into hysterical laughter as each of us collapsed to our knees in the front yard.

Retching.
Vomiting.
Gasping.

None of them would even get close to us. Our clothing reeked of the stench.

Eventually, we still had our jobs to do regarding this matter. It was a case of dedication to the worst parts of the job to accomplish the mission. Borrowed some disposable "hazardous waste suits" from a local oil refinery's fire department and some self-contained breathing apparatus.

Finally got the remains loaded and transported and secured the property. The administrative side of the Coroner's Office would do the follow-up in the next day or so.

Contacted the Sarge for my area and got permission to return to the S.O. for a shower and a change of uniform. No matter how often that uniform was dry cleaned, I could always detect the scent of that night. Eventually had to burn it. Our garage never could get the smell out of the patrol car, either. It usually sat at the rear of the parking lot. Used only by reserves, rookies, and the poor sobs who had no other car to drive on nights we were short of vehicles.

Today, I can look back and laugh. Well, it has been 30 years or so. What a Keystone Kop image we must have presented to the lookie-loos. Our bodies erupting from that front door like gel from a toothpaste tube. A case of "Everyman for himself" and screw that "all-for-one, one-for-all" bullshit. Get out of my way NOW or DIE!

And now that I have written this, I just realized how many of you might be sitting down to enjoy a breakfast/lunch/dinner.

"Sorry about that. Chief"

Bon Appetite!

***

I hope each of you has a fantastic week. I will be returning to work on my Tuesday night shift. Just the "normal" pre-incident aches and pains I always live with. Didn't even need the heating pad or "magic fingers" last night.

Unless something drastic happens, I'll take Judy out to dinner tonight.

Talk to you tomorrow!

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

WaileaBeach

Sands At Wailea

Kaua'i

'Iao Valley

Classic Hawai'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

ODDS & ENDS...

BITS & PIECES

When I first got started on the web in the 90's, via webTv, I met some really great people. Over the years we have stayed in touch with each other. We all belonged to a webbie newsgroup called ADWH (alt.discuss.webtv.html), which was strictly limited to webTv users. As we moved on, into the vast reaches of the net, we lost that meeting place. Tim Weaver, from North Carolina, established a forum where we could all drop by to check in on each others lives. One of our clan is a man by the name of Kent Kyle. We know we are related somehow, since that isn't really a common last name, unless you are from the Indianapolis, Indiana region. Kent is an extremely talented professional pianist, among other things. He lives along the Mississippi River on the northern edge of Minneapolis. He put together an informational page about this weeks tragic bridge collapse. Check it out. Thanks, Cuz.

Also, Flickr.com and YouTube.com searches provide interesting images/videos.

Turns out that my sweetheart, Alissa, was on I-35W approaching the span, about 1/2 mile away, when all this occurred. She and all the rest of her family are okay.

***

I am getting better but decided what was the sense of pushing it. Took Saturday off and will have my scheduled days off on Sunday and Monday, returning to work on Tuesday evening. This decision made a lot of people very happy.

NOT!

I knew that if I had tried to load/unload luggage into ONE-NINE, I would have ended up in the ER. It just wasn't worth it. FAA rules limit luggage weight per bag to 50 pounds (23k). I don't think I have ever handled a bag that weighed less than 100 pounds (45k) and most approach 150# (68k).

***

Just 6 years, 3-1/2 months to go until I can draw full SSI. My 66th B'day. I wonder if I'll live that long? Probably not. Oh, well.

FECES OCCURS

***

Check in tomorrow for a tale from the ol' police blotter.

Until then,

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

The Tropics

Ma'alaea Bay

Kahului Bay

Kahana Beach
Mau'i

Hana Area

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

THE "CULTURAL" CARD

IS BEING PLAYED AGAIN

While tourists don't often hear about it, the fact is that what few native Hawai'ians there are left want all other races to leave the islands. What exactly is a "native Hawai'ian"? To claim such heritage, all you have to do is be able to show lineage to one person from a list established circa 1800. Mainland aboriginal tribes (Native Americans) have to show at least 25% of their bloodline is tribal.

Native Hawai'ians do not want any cultural activity occurring unless it can be linked to THEIR culture. The current on-going area of conflict is the Halloween Events in Lahaina. I've written about it, I've shown images and videos. The latest bitch is that it is disrespectful of the native heritage. Lahaina was the first capital city of the Kingdom of Hawai'i. It wouldn't have been so without the assistance of the British Admiralty, who lent cannons, firearms and military advisors to the stone age leader of one of the warring tribes. Prior to the arrival of Capt. James Cook, the various warring tribes were cannibals. A fact Cook learned the hard way when, on his second visit, he was the main course at a luau. The Kingdom of Hawai'i barely existed 100 years. Europeans created it and their decendents overthrew it.

As happened often throughout the world, the arrival of Europeans brought the onslaught of diseases that the indigenous population had no natural immunity from. This was followed by a second invasion, the missionaries who did more to destroy the local culture than gunpowder and cannon shot ever accomplished.

Today, when new buildings are being constructed, if human remains are discovered, extreme efforts are brought to halt the development. Claiming that the area is a sacred burial ground. Considering their past dietary supplements, it most likely is just a garbage dump.

There were two articles in yesterday's paper that prompted today's rant. One was about Front Street and the other was a classic example on the tendency of Hawai'ian decended people to be bullies. Using their gargantuan size as an intimidation factor.

Tourists hear of and believe that everyone in the islands "Live Aloha". The perfect blended society. That is as far from fact as is possible. Racial hatred and tension is always boiling, just below the surface.

***

The cost of giving up wine

I was walking down the street when I was approached by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I got ten dollars out of my purse and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago", the homeless woman told me.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight."

The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

I said, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine."

***

As you may have guessed. I didn't work last night. I did pull my shift on Thursday and it was torturous. By the end of the first three hours, I couldn't even sit upright in ONE-NINE. And the front seat of a Mercury Gran Marquis is more comfortable that the easy chair in most homes. 6-way adjustable seat with adjustable lumbar support. The only thing missing is a heating pad and those magic vibrating "fingers". At 10p I went home and collapsed on my sofa. Instantly asleep. Back out at 1a to cover the graveyard portion of the night. Wally was in shortly after 4a and I was home before 5a. Did my quickie post to y'all and crawled into bed, where I do have an electric massager and heating pad. 6 solid hours of restful bliss. About noon, I woke and was dying of thirst. Drank about a liter of tea and flopped back to slumberland. 4p and time to start rejoining the world. Felt really great. Not one ache or twinge. Sadly that euphoria was short lived. By 5p I was getting spasms in the back again. Thought I could tough it out. By 6p, it was obvious that there was not going to be a Friday night for me, so I called off.

Thats as much detail as I need to share about the pains and side effects, other than to say that EVERYTHING hurts like hell.

Ever the trouper, I am going to try and do Saturday night.

***

Oh, my son called me yesterday and so did my ex-wife. Both concerned. I was awake when he called but sleeping when she did. Got her voice mail, though.

Isn't that nice of them?

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Kahului Welcome

Kahului Sunrise

Kahului Harbor

Kahului Harbor

Kahului Bay

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

BUT I AM BEYOND EXHAUSTED

So I am going to just leave this at the basics:

8 fares / 71 miles / 3rd quarter of the below $100 bracket

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Haleakala

Kahului Bay
Looking Up
'Iao Valley

'Iao Valley
Looking Down To
Kahului Bay

Maui Lani
A New Subdivison/Golf Course In
Kahului

Northeast Mau'i

***

97107



"Let's all be careful out there!"

THE CONTEST

FINAL COUNTDOWN

(scroll down for regular daily post)

"Jo" - 16-AUG-07 /AM
Thanks For Playing
"Juan De leon" - 20-AUG-07 / ??
Thanks For Playing
"Ian" - 21-AUG-07 / AM
Thanks For Playing
"Lugosi" - 21-AUG-07 / PM
Thanks For Playing
"Lori" - 23-AUG-07 / AM
"Dog Bait" - 24-AUG-07 / PM
"Bob" - 25-AUG-07 / ??
"Peggy" - 28-AUG-07 / AM

"Holly Muppet" - 01-SEP-07 / AM
"Muppets Mum" - 01-SEP-07 / PM
"Randall" - 03-SEP-07 / AM
"Roy" - 04-SEP-07 / AM
"Wyatt Earp" - 05-SEP-07 / PM
"London Cabbie" - 06-SEP-07 / AM
"Phyllis" - 14-SEP-07 / AM
"Mark" - 20-SEP-07 / AM
"Cathy" - 29-SEP-07 / AM

"jj" - 01-OCT-07 / AM
"Jeepgirl" - 02-OCT-07 / AM
"June in Florida" - 05-OCT-07 / AM
"Ted Martin" - 15-OCT-07 / PM
"Forman" - 21-OCT-07 / AM

"liprap" - 01-JAN-08 / ??


The one who comes the closest WITHOUT going over will be the winner.

"Ian", you didn't pick AM or PM and "Lugosi" did for the 21st of August. By default, you were assigned the AM slot.



"Let's all be careful out there!"

YOU KNOW,

TELEVISION REALLY SUCKS

I have caught bits and pieces of more TV than I have seen in years.

A special safety razor that has a 30-day money back guarantee and a lifetime free replacement warranty. Not only that, but they'll send you 2 (TWO!) of them for just the $13.95 price. If the damn thing is so good, why all these extras?

Comedy on TV really is pitiful. I checked in and out of the Comedy Channel with no laugh, no snicker, no smile. Not even a smirk. Even the Cartoon Network left me at a loss.

ABC Family isn't really a "family" oriented feed, is it. I haven't seen so much cleavage, on supposedly teenage high school girls, ever in my real life. And I live Hawai'i, where everyone is always in shorts and t-shirts, year round. Tried the 4 major (ABC/CBS/FOX/NBC) with lackluster results. Didn't there use to be 6 national networks?

Even my 2 favorite cable feeds (National Geographic & The History Channel) were devoted to UFOs and crop circles. Jeez! Give me a break.

The only reason I even have cable is to get the "RoadRunner" hi-speed connection to the internet and, thus, to all of you.

Do any of you actually watch TV? If so, what programs do you find interesting.

Fake "reality" TV shows seems to dominate the airwaves. The "IDOL" phenomenon is a global sensation, with not one iota of merit to its existence. And it is the best of that genre, sadly.

MTV, and all its global permutations, is a waste. Remember when they actually played music? Do you really care to see what some gang-banger is driving or the bullet ridden home they live in? I don't. The biggest joke about their programming is now all the small town kids across America think its kewl to speak like an inner-city thug. Even worse, most of their school teachers speak the same way.

TV is reaching the point where the shows are aimed at the lowest IQ level capable of operating a remote control and then getting advertisers to buy time. Peddling the worst products in the world.

Also, why is it that I can see ads for upper and lower GI tract problems, erectile dysfunction, pregnancy tests, herpes treatments, sleep disorders, but nary a one for birth control nor STD prevention.

Why is CSI such a hit? In most departments, these people are civilian technicians. Not gun toting cops. I guess a lot of people find it entertaining (and believable). I didn't.

Are ADD and ADHD new problems? Seems as if every school administrator and teacher has it as their god-given right to prescribe drugs. I don't remember pharmacology as part of the curriculum in getting a degree in teaching. We had kids who were unruly when I was growing up and I am sure the generations before me did too. Looking back, I probably was one of those.

Got a problem? Take a pill or give one to your antagonist. Preferably, both. No more problem.

Maybe this is why we ended up electing the moron who is currently destroying America. We have become the "pod people" from "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"

Considering that we are approaching the what-ever anniversary of 9/11, I do have one comment that will probably piss a lot of people off.

I mourn the loss of life, but the "Twin Towers" were the ugliest buildings ever erected. Two very tall cribbage pegs stuck in the ground. Not one iota of beauty. While I don't like the way it happened, I am glad they are gone. Look what has been built, or is under construction, around the world. Works of art, functionality and grace. The newest edifices erected by individuals, not soulless multi-national corporations.

Well, thats my rants and ravings for today. I am definitely going back to ONE-NINE tonight. Another night of the boob-tube would put me in the hospital. Where they would pump me so full of drugs that I would be joining the masses of complacent and compliant vegetable people.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Big Beach
Makena
Mau'i

The Northeast Coast Of Mau'i
Between Kahului And Kapalua
Seldom Visited By Tourists
There Is A Reason For That

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

I DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

AND RELISHED EVERY MOMENT

Lingering tenderness around T-6/T-7. Not really sure where the focus of the pain exactly was. The rest of me feels just tired but no residual effects.

Except for 2 things. Lost my sense of hunger. I've eaten one meal since Sunday. I ate a TV dinner because I knew I should put something inside me. Also don't seem to have much of a taste sense either. Everything is either just "there" or has limited taste bud reaction.

Sleep is my greatest desire. I stay awake for a few hours and then just drift off. Rest is the best medicine when the body needs to heal, I guess.

As you can tell, I didn't work Tuesday night. I needed one more day of recuperation. My "at rest" heartbeat is 96. Normally it is around 60.

Enjoy today's PICTURE GALLERY

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

SPF-75

Northeast Coast
Mau'i

Kona Coast
Big Island

OGG

Northeast Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"