DAILY CHUCKLE 8-221

"Let's all be careful out there!"

FILL YOUR TANK

STARVE A COW

The Governor of Texas requested, and the EPA denied, a rollback on the mandated 9 billion gallons of ethanol to be added to gasoline in Texas this year and the 11 billion for 2009. The Governor says the requirement is causing the price of cattle feed to skyrocket.

Jobless claims hit a 6-year high.

We are all equal under the eyes of gawd, unless you're the preacher's wife. Then you only have to obey a less qualified standard of behavior.

Typical story of a rich blond bitch in First-Class seating. She needs to get her ass back to the trailer park for some reality checking.



American combat troops leaving Iraq by October 2010. Thats if Dubya or McCain or Haliburton don't screw things up. And thats straight from the camel's mouth.


NASA is getting ready for a facelift on the ISS. When completed, the crew capacity will double from 3 to 6. No word on when NASA will be having the "kegger" house warming party.

"Dear Web Poster.
I would like to offer you an opportunity to help promote my Presidential campaign and earn exciting gifts for yourself."
Click here for further exciting details.
There is no requirement for a working brain, since we will supply you with all the cc&p's of "talking points" you'll ever need for any forum, blog or news article comment. Have your entire family sign up today. Lets leave Washington for us wrinkly, white-haired guys. They don't call it the WHITE House for nuttin'.

AOL, Google, Microsoft, Yahoo!, Earthlink, Time-Warner.. Its hard to tell want their new relationships will be with each other, but it will most definitely be different.

Finally, you might find this slinking story a-mew-zing.

Thanks for you time and visit. See you soon.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

NOW THIS IS KEWL!

LIGHTNING IN SUPER SLOW MOTION


Tornado Chasing:

Tailcam Video Of A380 Takeoff


Its called "Blue Beauty" and worth the time to watch.

March Of Shame:


Walk Of No Shame:


I haven't said anything about this before but the groundswell of grassroot support is staggering.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

AUGUST 7TH

***

Today is Thursday, August 7, the 220th day of 2008.
There are 146 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On August. 7, 1942, U.S. and allied forces landed at Guadalcanal, marking the start of the first major allied offensive in the Pacific during World War II.

On this date:

• In 1782, George Washington created the Order of the Purple Heart, a decoration to recognize merit in enlisted men and non-commissioned officers.
• In 1789, the U.S. War Department was established by Congress.
• In 1882, the famous feud between the Hatfields of West Virginia and the McCoys of Kentucky erupted into full-scale violence as one member of the Hatfield clan was mortally wounded by three McCoy brothers, who ended up being slain in turn.
• In 1927, the Peace Bridge between the United States and Canada was dedicated during ceremonies attended by Prince Edward of Wales, Canadian Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie King and U.S. Vice President Charles Dawes.
• In 1947, the balsa wood raft Kon-Tiki, which had carried a six-man crew 4,300 miles across the Pacific Ocean, crashed into a reef in a Polynesian archipelago; all six crew members reached land safely.
• In 1959, the United States launched Explorer 6, which sent back a picture of the Earth.
• In 1964, Congress passed the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, giving President Lyndon B. Johnson broad powers in dealing with reported North Vietnamese attacks on U.S. forces.
• In 1974, French stuntman Philippe Petit repeatedly walked a tightrope strung between the twin towers of New York's World Trade Center.
• In 1987, the presidents of five Central American nations, meeting in Guatemala City, signed an 11-point agreement designed to bring peace to their region.
• In 1993, the public got its first glimpse inside Buckingham Palace as people were given the opportunity to tour the London home of Queen Elizabeth II. (Proceeds were earmarked to help repair fire damage at Windsor Castle.)

Ten years ago:

• Terrorist bombs at U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania killed 224 people, including 12 Americans.
• The Federal Aviation Administration, in a follow-up to the probe of the 1996 explosion that destroyed TWA Flight 800, ordered the inspection of Boeing 747 fuel tanks.

Five years ago:

• A bombing outside the Jordanian Embassy in Baghdad killed 19 people.
• An Indonesian court sentenced Amrozi bin Nurhasyim to death in the 2002 Bali bombings that killed 202 people.
• West African peacekeepers entered Liberia's rebel-besieged capital; President Charles Taylor picked vice president Moses Blah as his successor.

One year ago:

• San Francisco's Barry Bonds hit home run Number 756 to break Hank Aaron's storied record with one out in the fifth inning of a game against the Washington Nationals, who ended up winning, 8-6.

Today's Birthdays:

• Writer-producer Stan Freberg is 82.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Herb Reed (The Platters) is 80.
• Bluesman Magic Slim is 71.
• Actress Verna Bloom is 69.
• Humorist Garrison Keillor is 66.
• Singer B.J. Thomas is 66.
• Singer Lana Cantrell is 65.
• Actor John Glover is 64.
• Actor David Rasche is 64.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Harold Hudson is 59.
• Country singer Rodney Crowell is 58.
• Actress Caroline Aaron is 56.
• Actor Wayne Knight is 53.
• Rock singer Bruce Dickinson is 50.
• Marathon runner Alberto Salazar is 50.
• Actor David Duchovny is 48.
• Country musician Michael Mahler (Wild Horses) is 47.
• Actor Harold Perrineau is 45.
• Jazz musician Marcus Roberts is 45.
• Country singer Raul Malo is 43.
• Actress Charlotte Lewis is 41.
• Actress Sydney Penny is 37.
• Actress Charlize Theron is 33.

Thought for Today:

"Civilization is a movement and not a condition, a voyage and not a harbor."
Arnold Toynbee, English historian (1889-1975).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-220

"Let's all be careful out there!"

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

THE OLYMPICS BEGIN TODAY

I know, the Games don't start until 8/8/08. But that is what the date is on the other side of the IDL. Or will be a few hours after this post goes live. Its simple to calculate. Start with the square root of negative one. Divide that by pi. Add 6 and subtract the sun's declination and right ascension. Factor in the numerical value of you first pets name.....
No. Wait. Those are the instructions from last years 1040 form.

How many years (and $$) to convict a man for being Osama bin Laden's driver? Definitely a desirable high profile target in the "War on Terror". For this he's probably going to get a life sentence. I wonder if those Secret Service Agents assigned to protect the President are taking note? They might be subject to a similar fate if "fearless leader" is ever brought to justice.


Greyhound Bus, in Canada, is scraping their latest ad campaign extrolling the pleasure of traveling the country.via their vehicles. I wonder if they are going to change their logo also? May I suggest the "headless horseman".

Two sides of the coin:
Afghan roadside bomb incidents hit four-year peak

Iraq Roadside Bomb Attacks Drop to Record Low, U.S. Army Says

Obviouly the University of Texas did not calculate in the "dumb blonde" factor.

An interesting quiz of your science-current events knowledge.

Look out Colonel Steve Austin. Science is rapidly catching up to science fiction.

So, you thought that the debate over Pluto's classification within our solar system was resolved? Not quite so. And its fun to read scientists discuss/debate their positions on a subject. No emotion, just logic of varying criterial parameters.

I am a sane, rational, intelligent person. So why do I want to break both this kids legs and arms? And wrap my putter around his neck? Okay he deserves congratulations but I doubt he followed the tradition of buying the clubhouse a round of drinks.

What was it that I was saying about the crowd at Sturgis being the demographic that McCain is seeking?





Now this is funny. In Elgin, IL, a Chicago suburb, a carwash advertises "The Best Hand Job In Town". Which is perfectly legal. But the reporter covering the story hems and haws throughout the article without ever actually reporting what the sign said.

Ever wonder about what ever became of those

"PERFECT SEASON
19-0"

t-shirts that the New England Patriots had made before the Super Bowl and before the New York Giants altered that reality.?

In the Forbes Survey of the 10 Fastest Dying Cities In America, the heart of the "rust-belt", Ohio, has four listings. Ummm. I guess "Congratulations!" are NOT in order.

Is there one person out there who didn't think this was eventually going to happen?

"How did it happen, mum?"
"Well he was swallowing a bunch of fairies..."

The above image is the new first-class mail postage stamp. Grap some if you can. They are going to be a collectors item. Can you see why?

hint:How many original colonies were there?

Have a FANTASTIC DAY!
Thanks for stopping over.
Hope to see y'all again real, real soon.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

A STROLL DOWN MEMORY LANE

For a few of you, the above is going to bring back a lot of memories. The rest of you are going WTF? Thanks, Joel^

---

Thanks, James^

---

"Let's all be careful out there!"

AUGUST 6TH

***
Today is Wednesday, August 6, the 219th day of 2008.
There are 147 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On August 6, 1945, during World War II, the United States dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima, Japan, resulting in an estimated 140,000 deaths in the first use of a nuclear weapon in warfare.

On this date:

• In 1806, the Holy Roman Empire went out of existence as Emperor Francis II abdicated.
• In 1825, Upper Peru became the autonomous republic of Bolivia.
• In 1890, convicted murderer William Kemmler became the first person to be executed in the electric chair as he was put to death at Auburn State Prison in New York.
• In 1926, Gertrude Ederle of New York became the first woman to swim the English Channel, arriving in Kingsdown, England, from France in 14 1/2 hours.
• In 1926, Warner Brothers premiered its Vitaphone sound-on-disc movie system in New York with a showing of "Don Juan" featuring music and sound effects.
• In 1962, Jamaica became an independent dominion within the British Commonwealth.
• In 1965, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed the Voting Rights Act.
• In 1978, Pope Paul VI died at Castel Gandolfo at age 80.
• In 1986, William J. Schroeder died after living 620 days with the Jarvik 7 artificial heart.
• In 1997, Korean Air Flight 801 crashed into a hillside a short distance from Guam International Airport, killing 228 of the 254 aboard the Boeing 747.

Ten years ago:

• Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky spent 8 1/2 hours testifying before a grand jury about her relationship with President Clinton.
• The House Government Reform and Oversight Committee voted to cite Attorney General Janet Reno for contempt of Congress for her refusal to turn over reports recommending that she seek an independent counsel to investigate campaign fund-raising.

Five years ago:

• Actor Arnold Schwarzenegger used an appearance on NBC's "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" to announce his successful bid to replace California Gov. Gray Davis. The same day, Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante said he was entering the recall race as well.
• Israel freed 334 Palestinian prisoners in a bid to jump-start peace efforts -- but the gesture fell flat among Palestinians.
• Record-breaking heat, already blamed for three dozen deaths, continued to torment Europe.

One year ago:

• The Crandall Canyon Mine in central Utah collapsed, trapping six coal miners. (All six miners died, along with three would-be rescuers.)
• President Bush wrapped up two days of talks with Afghan President Hamid Karzai at Camp David.
• Baron Elie Robert de Rothschild, who helped France's Rothschild winemaking and banking dynasty recover from the ravages of World War II, died near Scharnitz, Austria, at age 90.

Today's Birthdays:

• Actress-singer Abbey Lincoln is 78.
• Jazz musician Charlie Haden is 71.
• Actor-director Peter Bonerz is 70.
• Actor Michael Anderson Junior is 65.
• Actor Dorian Harewood is 58.
• Actress Catherine Hicks is 57.
• Rock singer Pat MacDonald (Timbuk 3) is 56.
• Country musician Mark DuFresne (Confederate Railroad) is 55.
• Actress Stepfanie Kramer is 52.
• Actress Faith Prince is 51.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Randy DeBarge is 50.
• Actor Leland Orser is 48.
• Country singers Peggy and Patsy Lynn are 44.
• Actor Jeremy Ratchford is 43.
• Country singer Lisa Stewart is 40.
• Movie writer-director M. Night Shyamalan is 38.
• Actress Merrin Dungey is 37.
• Singer Geri Halliwell is 36.
• Singer-actor David Campbell is 35.
• Actress Vera Farmiga is 35.
• Actress Ever Carradine is 34.
• Actress Soleil Moon Frye is 32.
• Rock singer Travis McCoy (Gym Class Heroes) is 27.
• Rock musician Eric Roberts (Gym Class Heroes) is 24.

Thought for Today:

"An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't."
Anatole France, French author (1844-1924).

"Let's all be careful out there!"