DAILY CHUCKLE - 7/4

"Let's all be careful out there!"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

AMERICA


If you are an American sports figure, a celebrity, listed on Forbes or Fortune, then the odds are you have had your privacy violated by government workers and government contractors with access to restricted gov't computer systems. Especially those of the US State Dept. Some individuals files have been accessed thousands of times, even though there is only a necessity to access only once every 5 years. The article deliniates what possible crimes could be used for prosecution but the wording is so vague that a good defense attorney would easily acquire an acquittal.

Viacom, the media conglomerate, won a court decision forcing Google/YouTube to release all information about its users. Google is trying to get the court to allow it to delete any info that could be used to identify individuals.

One thing that McCain and Obama have in common. They are both "southpaws".

The detention center at Gitmo is going to be closed. Thats a given. But exactly when is unknown. Some prisoners will be returned to their native country. Some will be charged with crimes but 120, or so, are a problem. The gov't feels they are too dangerous to release but there will probably never be enough evidence to convict them of any crime. The gov't doesn't want them released but don't our laws require a person to be charged with a crime to remain in detention? Unlike our Civil War, when Lincoln suspended the rule of habeas corpus, that rule is still in effect and must be adhered to.

I haven't found an embeddable version of this video, yet, but an amateur camera man videoed a van full of oxygen tanks and gasoline explode when the driver lit a cigarette. The van's driver is in the hospital and is expected to recover from his burns. No one else was injured.

ICANN, the organization that assigns the names, numbers and domains for websites had it own site stolen yesterday.

Thank you for taking the time on our national holiday to stop in for a visit. I'll have more later.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

WHAT A DIFFERENCE...

A YEAR MAKES

Last year at this time, the national average price for a gallon of gasoline was $2.95. This year, we are at a national average of $4.10. California drivers would love to see their prices as low as the national average. And crude slid past the $145 per barrel mark earlier today.

Another 62,000 jobs were lost in the US last month. The sixth straight month of decline for 438,000 since the first of the year.

And those looking for work in Maryland weren't being aided by their State's "Job Hot-line". A misprint in the State's Family Health Administration's Website connected callers to a "women looking for sex" porn number. Oops.

From Duluth, MN we have a new entry in my Lex Luthor Doesn't Exist (LLDE) file.

In you are near Coney Island tomorrow, don't forget that the annual Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest will be taking place. Check local media for details.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

HE ONLY WILL OBEY THE LAWS...

THAT HE BELIEVES IN.

On Tuesday, the 1st, California's new cell phone law went into effect. Yesterday Beverly Hills police affected a stop on an individual in violation. As the officer made his approach to the vehicle, the suspect sped off and the chase was on. He was caught.

You know who the winner is in these high gas prices? Your local governments.

Former boxing champion Mike "Let me bite your ear" Tyson is in a world of hurts.

Have you run out of Viagra? Try substituting watermelon.

Planning a wedding? A Japanese company is taking reservations to conduct the ceremony in space.

China is cracking down on entertainment venues that offer more than one would consider standard.

Conserving water can cost you a lot of money.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE - 7/3

"Let's all be careful out there!"

THE LEFT HAND AND RIGHT HAND...

HAVING NO IDEA OF WHAT THE OTHER IS DOING

The Federal Trade Commission advises everyone to not carry their Social Security Card (SSN) on their person. This is to prevent identity theft. But if you have associations with the Pentagon or Medicare, you are mandated to have your SSN with you. Military ID cards use an individual's SSN as their service number and, of course, members of the military are required to always have that ID card on their person. Individuals who are covered by Medicare insurance must also carry an agency specific ID card. A card that uses their SSN as their ID number. I think all the states have finally stopped using the SSN as the driver's license number.

Do you ever get the feeling that NASA hires former Radio Shack sales people to design and build their systems? The Phoenix Mars Lander suffered a short circuit in its "shake and bake" oven when doing its first test of soil samples. Scientists are worried that the next test could be its last. See what happens when you out-source to some Asian country to save on costs.

In 1995, Chicago's mercury topped out at 106°f (41°c). In 2003, France spiked at 104°f (40°c). The sad thought is that in the near future we will look back at those temps and say how lucky they were to have had it so cool. Where I am now living, temps usually reach 114°f - 118°f (45°c - 48°c) every summer. The hottest temp ever recorded on Earth was 136°f (58°c), in Al' Aziziyah, Libya.

This is an amazing story:


Dubya sure has taken care of his friends. At the cost of how many American lives? Oil money from Iraq is pure blood money. Of course, he denied any knowledge but it turns out he knew months before the deal was closed.

McCain is shaking up his campaign staff.

Its official! Guinness has certified the recent Firefox-3 download as the most downloaded program in a single day. Also a new study states that Firefox users are the safest on the web.



George Washington's boyhood home has been located. No information if the chopped down cherry tree was located or the "dollar" he allegedly threw across the Potomac River.

Get through today safely. The three day weekend starts tomorrow. Thanks for coming over and, please, have a safe & sane Fourth!

"Let's all be careful out there!"

ACROSS THE UNIVERSE

I have just watched this excellent film for the second time. Have you seen it? A love story set it in late 60's America with limited dialog. Told by renditions of the music of the Beatles. The title is from a song written by Lennon and the film comprises 33 songs by the mop tops. It was released in the US just last October and received mixed reviews. It was also nominated for a Golden Globe and an Academy Award. Even the visual feel has the taste of the counter-revolutionary 60s. If you are old enough, this will strike a resonance cord in your soul. Try to watch it. Wikipedia. IMDb.


Speaking of films, I have devised a new method of rating them.

The Four year old attention factor.

How many minutes of a film doesn't capture the interest level and attention of a young'un. I have seen two films since returning to the mainland. Indiana Jones and The Incredible Hulk. The first had a total of 15 minutes that didn't hold the interest of GS#4. The Hulk lost his attention for almost 40 minutes!

The multi-plex I saw both features in is huge. The lobby alone is bigger than any of the multi-screen complexes on Mau'i.

My official birth certificate from Los Angeles County finally arrived over the weekend and, today, I submitted my passport application. Now I have to start searching for locations that are hiring ESL instructors. Should have the passport in about 4 weeks. Getting ready for the next step in my life. I had been hoping to get some of my rent deposit back but that hasn't happened yet. I know/knew I would take a hit on it but I had anticipated a few hundred, at least. And Judy and Richard haven't had any luck selling my car and belongings. Damn! To say that money is tight would be an understatement. Life is never as easy as we would like. Is it?

The Hubble Space Telescope captured the image of a ribbon of light. Generated by a supernova over 8,000 years ago and visible on Earth by our ancestors in 1006ce.

The final service mission to Hubble will occur sometime in October of this year. That should keep it functional until its replacement, the James Webb Space Telescope, goes into orbit, sometime in 2013.

A rather intoxicated gentleman from Sweden decided that it was time to go home. So he stole a rowboat to get back to Denmark.

He only wrote two words, one an expletive, but at least he got 2 credits for his efforts in a British school test.

Due to shoddy production from outsourcing to China, the German firm Steiff, which has made teddy bears for over 100 years, is going to bring back the manufacturing to the Fatherland.

The "Queen of Mean" left millions to cover the care of her cat, Trouble. She also left billions (thats an additional 3 zeros) for canine care.

Even smokers like me know the addiction is dangerous. Often in ways seldom recognized.

I guess the price is always negotiable in prostitution.

Upcoming films I hope to see:









"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE - 7/2

"Let's all be careful out there!"

ONCE AROUND THE BLOCK

WITH VIDEO!

Barack is tendering an offer to the Christian Taliban in an attempt to get some votes from that segment of the electorate which seldom, if ever, votes for anyone but staunch conservatives. McCain tried something similar last week when he met with the Rev. Billy Graham, hoping for an endorsement. He didn't get it.

So, was she a poor sad little rich girl? An emotionally dysfunctional brat? A victim of the Russian mafia in the US? One thing is for sure, she'll never get any more beautiful than she was just an instant prior to slamming into the asphalt.

I seriously wonder what the impute was that finally made North Korea decide to abandon their nuclear program? The fact that the majority of the nation was starving?


Mongolia is a country that you seldom hear about. Not any more.

"Justice is mine, sayeth the Lord."

"You can have whats left when we're done." sayeth the police.
A Prince George County, Maryland, police officer was drug to death over the weekend. Now one of the four suspects arrested in that homicide has turned up dead.

While incarcerated at the county jail.

Strangled.

Shit happens, doesn't it?


"Badge? Badge! I ain't got to show you no stinkin' badge!" And would it really make a difference if he did?

I guess that alternate plan of becoming a used car salesperson was not well thought out.

There is still one politician out there who is a legend in his own mind. Thank gawd that almost everybody could see through him. Earlier and better than they could Dubya.

Thanks everybody for dropping in. As alway, there will be more later. Two more work days until the 3-day weekend. Be safe!

"Let's all be careful out there!"

NOW WHERE AM I GOING TO SPEND...

$5 FOR A FRAKKING CUP OF COFFEE?

Starbucks Corp. will close 600 US coffee shops and eliminate as many as 12000 jobs

Woman crashes into store then tries to buy beer

Man accused of hitting mom with Polish sausage

Nowthen, Minn., I think our city has a name

Alleged burglar sheds clothes, flees in shorts

Man charged for having pants undone in park

Pentagon is in the market for spy satellites

100 years later, Tunguska still mysterious



"Let's all be careful out there!"

noon 7/1

The details.

Hmmm. So shrooms have positive attributes.

You can't squeeze blood from a turnip but you can squeeze oil from a rock.


Two weeks ago Sweden passed a law that allows for the government to eavesdrop on all telephonic and electronic traffic that crosses their borders. The Swedes are now starting to raise holy hell about it.

Its dawn. You are bleary eyed. Desperate for that first cup of coffee to kick start your day. You go out to get the morning paper and walking down the street are llamas, camels, zebras and pot-bellied pigs. It must have been reassuring to discover that you weren't hallucinating. Though I do wonder how many folks did swear off their mind altering substance of choice that morning. Imagine trying to explain what you saw to your significant other.

Imagine leaving for work and returning home to a vacant lot.

Happy Canada Day to all our friends north of the border.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE - 7/1

"Let's all be careful out there!"

WANTED:

DEAD OR ALIVE

Thats what Bush told us about bin Laden. So, why is he still alive? We know the general area he is hiding in. We have the resources to go get him. The military has operational plans drawn up. The only stumbling block is that the White House won't give the "go ahead". Is it because there is more political and propaganda gain in keeping the "boogie man" out there as a threat? Is there pressure being brought to bear by the bin Laden family in Saudi Arabia to keep their off-spring alive? Is that the only bargaining chip we have left in trying to get production concessions from the Saudi's? Nothing is ever just simple black & white. The situation is always a convoluted mixture of grays.

Dubya, you have less than 7 months to come through on your promise. Please do something right for a change. I know this is a difficult challenge to your talents and abilities but give it a shot. You couldn't fuck up any worse than you already have. And, just maybe, you could actually succeed and raise your legacy quotient quite a few notches.

***

McCain's "Straight Talk Express", is now airborne. Wonder what happened to the bus?

***

We have all heard Dubya expound on why we should never engage in negotiations with our enemies. An example is North Korea, whom we do not even recognize as a country. So would he please explain how he justifies the, um, "discussions" that occurred to dismantle their nuclear capability and why we are suddenly shipping food to that "Axis of Evil" nation? It can't be for humanitarian reasons. Bush doesn't have a humanitarian bone in his body.

***

The City of San Francisco has rejected a claim of liability against it for the deaths caused by that earlier tiger attack. Its just symbolic. A procedural process that must be completed before a civil suit against them may begin. Any other place in the world , the City would be pretty well in the right. The kids were under the influence of alcohol and drugs. Teased the caged animals and were mauled to death. Kismet takes care of everything. But this is California and, even worse, San Francisco. Where stupidity is rewarded.

***

I mentioned this earlier: Iraq has started accepting bids (yesterday) from the major oil companies to exploit the second largest proven oil field in the world. Well, at least there were two winners to come out of Iraq - Cheney & Haliburton. Way to go "dead-eye" Dick.

***

I think we should pass a law that no sports team in Boston is ever allowed to win another national title. Every time they do, the celebrations turn deadly. Okay, if any team from MIT ever wins a NCAA Title, then we can make an exception.

***

Behind schedule and over budget. Thats the sum of the rebuilding at "Ground Zero." And the typical way we Americans construct things.

***

Have a great day. I'll be back later. Thanks for stopping in.


"Let's all be careful out there!"