TODOS PÁNICO

ES LA JALAPEÑOS


Thats right. After gutting the tomato industry, it turns out the salmonella didn't come from those delicious red orbs. The FDA has traced the contamination to some jalapeños. Some very specific jalapeños. Of course, their mis-IDing the source initially has cost the growers a few $100 million in destroyed crops. Which makes me wonder. What political opponent of the current administration has large holdings in the vegetable growing business? Someone the administration needed to kick in the balls to provide a lesson.

The UK seems to be kind of a nice place. The people are pleasant. Except for their various levels of government that seem to want to micro-manage every aspect of a person's life. One community is seeking to effectively ban the jingles played by ice cream trucks for decades. The assinine new law only allows the ringing of the chimes for 4 seconds every three minutes. There are even more Draconian strictures that must be complied with. Something about polluting the "atmosphere" of the community. Give me a frakking break.

Or their new "permissions" that allow so called inspectors to enter any structure, commercial or residence, to be sure you aren't in violation of over 1,000 new restrictions. No wonder Blair and Bush got on so well. Neither wanted their people to have any rights (or privacy) at all.

I guess we can call this "COLD WAR ver2.0". Russia is considering stationing long range bombers in Cuba in retaliation for the missle defense system we are installing in the Czech Republic.

"Put down the remote! You're too drunk to channel surf." First it was a wheelchair. Now its a riding mower. I busted a guy for DUI while he was riding a horse. Long ago and far, far away.

Rising scrap metal prices are squeezing the brass nuts off fire hydrants. Never thought I could say that without referencing a very cold monkey.

"The Changing Newsroom: What is Being Gained and What is Being Lost in America's Daily Newspapers." Besides readship, quality and coverage? How about revenue?

The annual meeting of Santa's (helpers) from around the world began their 3-day stay on Monday in Denmark.. I guess they are exchanging their naughty & nice lists. There is no truth to the rumor that Bill Clinton tried to buy the naughty girls list. But his name is permanently engraved at the top of the boy's.

You saw the video! Now read the news! Flesh eating carp the latest rage in pedicures.

The high cost of fuel may have rendered another tradition to the Dodo bird squad. The county fair midways and the carnies who run them.

Thanks for you visit. There will be more (always) later.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

RUNNING LATE...

HERE ARE SOME VIDS:






"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 21ST

***

Today is Monday, July 21, the 203rd day of 2008. There are 163 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On July 21, 1861, the first Battle of Bull Run was fought at Manassas, Va., resulting in a Confederate victory.

On this date:

• In 1831, Leopold I was proclaimed King of the Belgians.
• In 1925, the so-called "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, Tenn., with John T. Scopes convicted of violating state law for teaching Darwin's Theory of Evolution. (The conviction was later overturned on a technicality.)
• In 1930, President Hoover signed an executive order establishing the Veterans Administration.
• In 1944, American forces landed on Guam during World War II.
• In 1949, the U.S. Senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty.
• In 1954, the Geneva Conference concluded with accords dividing Vietnam into northern and southern entities.
• In 1955, during a summit in Geneva, President Eisenhower presented his "open skies" proposal under which the U.S. and the Soviet Union would trade information on each other's military facilities and allow aerial reconnaissance.
• In 1961, Capt. Virgil "Gus" Grissom became the second American to rocket into a suborbital pattern around the Earth, flying aboard the Liberty Bell 7.
• In 1969, Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin blasted off from the moon aboard the lunar module.
• In 1980, draft registration began in the United States for 19- and 20-year-old men.

Ten years ago:

• President Clinton announced a crackdown on nursing homes that were lax about quality and on states that were doing a poor job of regulating them.
• The Pentagon said it found no evidence to support allegations in a CNN report that U.S. troops had used nerve gas during a 1970 operation in Laos designed to hunt down American defectors.
• Astronaut Alan Shepard died in Monterey, Calif., at age 74.
• Actor Robert Young died in Westlake Village, Calif., at age 91.

Five years ago:

• President Bush said he was working to persuade more nations to help in Iraq.
• Carlton Dotson Jr., the roommate of missing Baylor basketball player Patrick Dennehy, was arrested and charged with Dennehy's murder. (Dotson later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 35 years in prison.)

One year ago:

• Doctors removed five small growths from President Bush's colon after he temporarily transferred the powers of his office to Vice President Dick Cheney under the rarely invoked 25th Amendment.
• Ruediger Diedrich, one of two Germans kidnapped in southern Afghanistan on July 18, was found dead.
• David Beckham made his debut with the Los Angeles Galaxy in front of a sellout crowd of 27,000. (Beckham got into the exhibition game in the 78th minute of Chelsea's 1-0 victory.)
• "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," the final volume of the wizard series by J.K. Rowling, went on sale.

Today's Birthdays:

• Singer Kay Starr is 86.
• Movie director Norman Jewison is 82.
• Actor Paul Burke is 82.
• Former Attorney General Janet Reno is 70.
• Actress Patricia Elliott is 66.
• Actor David Downing is 65.
• Actor Edward Herrmann is 65.
• Actor Leigh Lawson is 63.
• Actor Wendell Burton is 61.
• Actor Art Hindle is 60.
• Singer Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens) is 60.
• Cartoonist Garry Trudeau is 60.
• Comedian-actor Robin Williams is 57.
• Rock singer-musician Eric Bazilian (The Hooters) is 55.
• Comedian Jon Lovitz is 51.
• Actor Lance Guest is 48.
• Actor Matt Mulhern is 48.
• Comedian Greg Behrendt is 45.
• Rock musician Koen Lieckens (K's Choice) is 42.
• Actress Racquel Darrian is 40.
• Rock singer Emerson Hart is 39.
• Country singer Paul Brandt is 36.
• Actress Ali Landry is 35.
• Actor Josh Hartnett is 30.
• Contemporary Christian singer Brandon Heath is 30.
• Reggae singer Damian Marley is 30.
• Country singer Brad Mates (Emerson Drive) is 30.
• Singer Blake Lewis ("American Idol") is 27.
• Actress Vanessa Lengies is 23.
• Actor Jamie Waylett ("Harry Potter" films) is 19.

Thought for Today:

"This is the final test of a gentleman: His respect for those who can be of no possible service to him."
William Lyon Phelps, American educator (1865-1943).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-203

"Let's all be careful out there!"

AND I THOUGHT...

HE WAS GAY

I never thought he was funny, either.
Andy Dick was arrested last week for drug possession and sexual assault on a 17 year old girl. This was not his first (nor probably his last) run-in with the law. Seems that whereever he goes he makes himself persona non gratia.

While no laws have been broken, the St. Louis (MO) Police Dept. has a major PR problem to deal with. And their COP has some other issues to be dealt with.

Some street punk rapper named "Lil Scrappy" (no, I never heard of him either) got stabbed over the weekend. He was then arrested by police while his assailant was released.

It might be that over consumption of soy products could cause... Something. What were we talking about?

Remember that "gas tax holiday" Clinton and McCain touted during the primaries? The one quietly abandoned when it turned out that the loss of $9 billion would cause job losses just before the election. Well, to correct that problem, Congress is quietly talking about raising it instead. Isn't that sweet of them?

"Hello. Fire Department?" My house is burning. How much do you charge to come over and put it out? That much, huh? Look, let me call you back. I need to shop around."

Its not easy being a vet trying to go back to school and adapt to civilian life.

You own a casino. The economy has dwindled profits. How do you adjust? Change the odds on the slots, of course.

Five ways reality caught up with Sci-Fi this century.

I know, its Monday. Try and cope as best you can.. Thanks for the company.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 20TH

***

Today is Sunday, July 20, the 202nd day of 2008. There are 164 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On July 20, 1969, Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin became the first men to walk on the moon as they stepped out of their lunar module.

On this date:

• In 1810, Colombia declared independence from Spain.
• In 1861, the Congress of the Confederate States began holding sessions in Richmond, Va.
• In 1871, British Columbia entered Confederation as a Canadian province.
• In 1917, the draft lottery in World War I went into operation.
• In 1944, an attempt by a group of German officials to assassinate Adolf Hitler with a bomb failed as the explosion at Hitler's Rastenburg headquarters only wounded the Nazi leader.
• In 1944, President Roosevelt was nominated for an unprecedented fourth term of office at the Democratic convention in Chicago.
• In 1976, America's Viking 1 robot spacecraft made a successful, first-ever landing on Mars.
• In 1977, a flash flood hit Johnstown, Pa., killing more than 80 people and causing $350 million in damage.
• In 1988, Massachusetts Gov. Michael Dukakis received the Democratic presidential nomination at the party's convention in Atlanta.
• In 1988, Iranian leader Ayatollah Khomeini accepted a truce with Iraq, even though he said the decision was like drinking poison.

Ten years ago:

• Russia won an $11.2 billion loan from the International Monetary Fund to help avert the devaluation of its currency.
• A smoky fire broke out aboard the cruise ship Ecstasy just 2 miles from the Florida shore, forcing the ship's return to port.

Five years ago:

• Gen. John Abizaid, the top commander of coalition forces in Iraq, predicted that resistance to U.S. forces in Iraq would grow in coming months as progress was made in creating a new government to replace the dictatorial regime of Saddam Hussein.
• President Bush welcomed Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi to his Texas ranch for a two-day visit.
• Ben Curtis, an unknown PGA Tour rookie in his first major championship, won the British Open.

One year ago:

• President Bush signed an executive order prohibiting cruel and inhuman treatment, including humiliation or denigration of religious beliefs, in the detention and interrogation of terrorism suspects.
• Tammy Faye Messner, who as Tammy Faye Bakker helped her husband, Jim, build a multimillion-dollar evangelism empire, then watched it collapse in disgrace, died at age 65 near Kansas City, Mo.

Today's Birthdays:

• Actress-singer Sally Ann Howes is 78.
• Rockabilly singer Sleepy LaBeef is 73.
• Sen. Barbara A. Mikulski, D-Md., is 72.
• Actress Diana Rigg is 70.
• Rock musician John Lodge (The Moody Blues) is 65.
• Country singer T.G. Sheppard is 64.
• Singer Kim Carnes is 63.
• Rock musician Carlos Santana is 61.
• Rock musician Paul Cook (The Sex Pistols, Man Raze) is 52.
• Actress Donna Dixon is 51.
• Rock musician Mick McNeil (Simple Minds) is 50.
• Country singer Radney Foster is 49.
• Actor Frank Whaley is 45.
• Rock singer Chris Cornell is 44.
• Rock musician Stone Gossard (Pearl Jam) is 42.
• Actor Reed Diamond is 41.
• Actor Josh Holloway ("Lost") is 39.
• Singer Vitamin C is 39.
• Actor Simon Rex is 34.
• Actress Judy Greer is 33.
• Actor Charlie Korsmo is 30.
• Singer Elliott Yamin ("American Idol") is 30.
• Actor John Francis Daley is 23.
• Country singer-professional dancer Julianne Hough is 20.
• Actress Billi Bruno is 12.

Thought for Today:

"No man can resolve himself into Heaven."
Dwight L. Moody, American evangelist (1837-1899).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-202

"Let's all be careful out there!"

HERE'S YOUR HAT...

THERE'S THE DOOR

Iraqi's Prime Minister stated yesterday, when asked which American Presidential candidate he supported, that he didn't want to influence anyone's vote but "Whoever is thinking about the shorter term is closer to reality. Artificially extending the stay of U.S. troops would cause problems." That would be Obama's 16 month timetable. I bet Dubya is fuming.

Zimbabwe had an inflation rate rate of 165,000 percent in February. In June it was 2.2 million percent, but non-government economists peg it closer to 10-15 million percent.

That 1.5 trillion dollars on display at the left is about what you would need to buy a pack of cigarettes. But it is worth more than toilet paper, since it has the full faith backing of the nation of Zimbabwe. What more could you ask for?


An elderly woman was saved by her pet dog after a 6ft 5in kangaroo attacked her on a farm in Australia. Her cat was petrified at the vision of a 6 foot tall mouse.

We all know that these exist and are mostly ignored by local authorities. Unless some politician or police chief needs some brownie points in the press.

When most people say their kids diapers are "loaded" they mean "brown" rather than "green".

The Beatles had everything right but the color.

Finally, police in British Columbia are finally getting a toehold into those recovered feet along the coast.

Enjoy your Sunday. Thank you for your visit.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

I THOUGHT YOU BROUGHT THE POPCORN

"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 19TH

***

Today is Saturday, July 19, the 201st day of 2008. There are 165 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On July 19, 1848, a pioneer women's rights convention convened in Seneca Falls, N.Y.

On this date:

• In 1553, 15-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as Queen of England after claiming the crown for nine days. King Henry VIII's daughter Mary was proclaimed Queen.
• In 1870, the Franco-Prussian war began.
• In 1943, allied air forces raided Rome during World War II.
• In 1944, the Democratic National Convention convened in Chicago with the renomination of President Franklin D. Roosevelt considered a foregone certainty.
• In 1969, Apollo 11 and its astronauts, Neil Armstrong, Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin and Michael Collins, went into orbit around the moon.
• In 1975, the Apollo and Soyuz space capsules that were linked in orbit for two days separated.
• In 1979, the Nicaraguan capital of Managua fell to Sandinista guerrillas, two days after President Anastasio Somoza had fled the country.
• In 1984, U.S. Rep. Geraldine A. Ferraro, D-N.Y., won the Democratic nomination for vice president by acclamation at the party's convention in San Francisco.
• In 1989, 111 people were killed when a United Air Lines DC-10 crashed while making an emergency landing at Sioux City, Iowa; 185 other people survived.
• In 1993, President Clinton announced a policy allowing homosexuals to serve in the military under a compromise dubbed "don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue."

Ten years ago:

• Seeking to break a 16-month deadlock, Israel and the Palestinians held their first high-level talks in months.
• Hundreds of Serb police battled secessionist guerrillas for control of the central Kosovo town of Orahovac.

Five years ago:

• A chartered aircraft carrying three families to a game reserve plowed into Mount Kenya, killing all 12 American tourists and the two South African pilots on board.

One year ago:

• A federal judge dismissed a lawsuit brought by former CIA operative Valerie Plame, who was demanding money from Bush administration officials she blamed for leaking her agency identity.
• Taliban gunmen abducted 23 South Koreans who worked at an aid organization in Kandahar, Afghanistan. (Two hostages were fatally shot; the rest were later freed.)

Today's Birthdays:

• Former Sen. George McGovern is 86.
• Actor Pat Hingle is 84.
• Actress Helen Gallagher is 82.
• Country singer Sue Thompson is 82.
• Country singer George Hamilton IV is 71.
• Actor Dennis Cole is 68.
• Singer Vikki Carr is 67.
• Country singer-musician Commander Cody is 64.
• Actor George Dzundza is 63.
• Rock singer-musician Alan Gorrie (Average White Band) is 62.
• Rock musician Brian May is 61.
• Rock musician Bernie Leadon is 61.
• Actress Beverly Archer is 60.
• Movie director Abel Ferrara is 57.
• Actor Peter Barton is 52.
• Rock musician Kevin Haskins (Love and Rockets; Bauhaus) is 48.
• Movie director Atom Egoyan is 48.
• Actor Campbell Scott is 47.
• Actor Anthony Edwards is 46.
• Country singer Kelly Shiver is 45.
• Actress Clea Lewis is 43.
• Country musician Jeremy Patterson (Flynnville Train) is 38.
• Classical singer Urs Buhler (Il Divo) is 37.
• Actor Andrew Kavovit is 37.
• Rock musician Jason McGerr (Death Cab for Cutie) is 34.
• Actress Rachel Miner is 28.
• Actor Jared Padalecki is 26.
• Actor Steven Anthony Lawrence is 18.

Thought for Today:

"I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failure."
Earl Warren, Chief Justice of the United States (1891-1974).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-201

"Let's all be careful out there!"

A POLICE DEPARTMENT...

REFLECTS ITS COMMUNITY

Then Heaven help NOLA.

Okay, what is it with construction cranes? This makes the fifth incident since the first of the year. Used to be they were up everywhere and there never seemed to be a problem. Somebody is doing something different, obviously.

This is why we Americans just love SUVs. A Prius couldn't have come close in destruction factors.

Every time I hear a story about paparazzi, I am amazed at how low these scumbags will stoop to get their pics. Unlike most folks, I am not hypocritical. These scrotes earn their money by selling the images to the trash mags and gossip TV shows. I refuse to read or watch either. Any one who does is giving defacto legitimacy to this activity and complicity to their actions.

Electrocuting a pickle proves the existence of gawd?

When our gov't is spending counter-terrorism money, is this what you had in mind? That goodness some people are raising questions.

I mentioned earlier about some folk's effort to get a proposal on the ballot in November to rename a sewage treatment plant "in honor" of Dubya. They were successful and now the ultimate decision is up to the voters.

You know what is hard about getting old? Not so much my own age but when I see a story or image about someone else following life's inevitable track. Phoebe Cates is a person whose image at a certain age is forever carved in stone in my brain. I first saw her in the movie Fast Tines At Ridgemont High when she was just barely 18. She is now married to Kevin Klein and has 2 kids and on the 17th turned 45.



Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Thanks for your visit.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

WELL, AT LEAST HE WASN'T ARMED

Earlier today American Airlines flight 725, a Boeing 757, from Boston to Los Angeles had to make an emergency landing in Oklahoma City. A male passenger went to the restroom, removed all his clothing and then proceeded to scamper up and down the aisles of the aircraft. After redressing he thought it was time to make a timely exit by attempting to open an emergency exit at 30,000 feet. He was taken into custody by Oklahoma authorities after being restrained by members of a Boston area professional soccer team aboard the flight. It is unknown if anyone yelled "GOOOAL" when he got the boot.

Gee, I didn't even get an in-flight movie when I flew back from the mainland.

Okay, I'll admit that I would accept free coffee when I was a cop. It was easier than the hassle involved trying to pay. But I did always leave a healthy tip. But this ranking officer down in Florida (sorry June) takes the cake.

Talk about being in a sticky situation.

I wonder if this guy's missing/wanted posters include a picture?

Well, we now know what "we" look like to passing aliens.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 18TH

Today is Friday, July 18, the 200th day of 2008. There are 166 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On July 18, 1947, President Truman signed the Presidential Succession Act, which placed the speaker of the House and the Senate president pro tempore next in the line of succession after the vice president.

On this date:

• In 64, the Great Fire of Rome began.
• In 1792, American naval hero John Paul Jones died in Paris at age 45.
• In 1918, during World War I, American and French forces launched a counteroffensive against the Germans during the Second Battle of the Marne.
• In 1932, the United States and Canada signed a treaty to develop the St. Lawrence Seaway.
• In 1936, the Spanish Civil War began.
• In 1940, the Democratic National Convention in Chicago nominated President Roosevelt for an unprecedented third term in office.
• In 1969, a car driven by Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-Mass., plunged off a bridge on Chappaquiddick Island near Martha's Vineyard; passenger Mary Jo Kopechne died.
• In 1984, a gunman opened fire at a McDonald's fast food restaurant in San Ysidro, Calif., killing 21 people before being shot dead by police.
• In 1984, Walter F. Mondale won the Democratic presidential nomination in San Francisco.
• In 1988, Texas Treasurer Ann Richards delivered the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention in Atlanta, skewering presumed Republican nominee George H.W. Bush as having been "born with a silver foot in his mouth."

Ten years ago:

• South African President Nelson Mandela capped his 80th birthday by marrying Graca Machel, the widow of a Mozambican president and black liberation leader.

Five years ago:

• Basketball star Kobe Bryant was charged with sexually assaulting a 19-year-old woman at a Colorado spa; Bryant denied the charge, saying he was guilty only of adultery. (Prosecutors later dropped the case.)
• The body of British scientist David Kelly, a weapons expert at the center of a storm over British intelligence on Iraq, was found a day after he'd committed suicide.

One year ago:

• Senate Republicans torpedoed legislation to force the withdrawal of U.S. combat troops from Iraq.
• An underground steam pipe exploded on a New York City street, swallowing a tow truck and claiming the life of a woman who suffered a heart attack.
• Armed men kidnapped two Germans and five Afghans working on a dam project in central Afghanistan. (One of the Germans, Ruediger Diedrich, was found shot dead three days later; the others were later released.)
• Opera tenor Jerry Hadley, 55, died at a hospital in Poughkeepsie, N.Y., a week after he'd shot himself with an air rifle.

Today's Birthdays:

• Former South African President Nelson Mandela is 90.
• Former Sen. John Glenn, D-Ohio, is 87.
• Skating champion and commentator Dick Button is 79.
• Movie director Paul Verhoeven is 70.
• Singer Brian Auger is 69.
• Singer Dion DiMucci is 69.
• Actor James Brolin is 68.
• Singer Martha Reeves is 67.
• Blues guitarist Lonnie Mack is 67.
• Pop-rock musician Wally Bryson (The Raspberries) is 59.
• Country-rock singer Craig Fuller (Pure Prairie League) is 59.
• Actress Margo Martindale is 57.
• Singer Ricky Skaggs is 54.
• Rock musician Nigel Twist (The Alarm) is 50.
• Actress Anne-Marie Johnson is 48.
• Actress Elizabeth McGovern is 47.
• Rock musician John Hermann (Widespread Panic) is 46.
• Rock musician Jack Irons is 46.
• Actor Vin Diesel is 41.
• Rock musician Daron Malakian (System of a Down; Scars on Broadway) is 33.
• Rock musician Tony Fagenson (Eve 6) is 30.
• Movie director Jared Hess is 29.
• Actor Jason Weaver is 29.
• Actress Kristen Bell is 28.
• Rock singer Ryan Cabrera is 26.
• Actor Chace Crawford is 23.

Thought for Today:

"While we read history we make history."
George William Curtis, American author-editor (1824-1892).

"Let's all be careful out there!"