Paradise Driver: 01/11/07

Thursday, January 11, 2007

EXTRA!!

When the sun sets tonight, go outside and look west. You may see the brightest comet in thirty years hanging just above the horizon. It’s Comet McNaught (C/2006 P1). Click here for more information

"Let's all be careful out there!"

UNCULTURED

The second runs of the night was a pu-pu from the Wailea Marriott to the Four Seasons. It was an 8:00pm time call. Per S.O.P. I was there at 7:45pm. The come out 10 minutes late and I start my "small talk".

"Where are you folks from?"
"Russia. Shut up and drive. We are late."

Okay, this isn't getting off on the correct footing.. $6.50 later, we arrive at the Four Seasons. He presents a $100 bill.

"I am sorry but I don't carry that much change. Do you have anything smaller?
"You lazy Americans never have money. What credit card do you take?"
"None, mister. We are strictly a cash business."

I tapped the meter, reactivating the "waiting" clock.

"Why don't you have money? Cabbies in America are stupid and lazy. Why did the price just change? We have arrived. Turn that off now."
"Mister, until I get paid, that meter stays running."
"I won't pay more than six dollars."
"I guess you'll be going to jail rather than dinner then."

At this point a valet had heard enough of the conversation to make an offer to take the C-note to the front desk for change. My Russian friend accepted and then we waited, the meter jumping up 30-cents every minute. I was handed a Twenty and made change, all in coins, for the final $7.10 fare.

"You are a real American asshole!"
"Actually, I am a real American prick and you, my friend, are very uncultured. Are you the best example that Russia has to present as a representative of your country? What a shame that there are so few cultured people in your country."

Many years ago, as a teen, my dad told me that one of the greatest insults that can be given to a Russian was to call them "uncultured". Russians have a complex about "culture" and know that theirs is just a sheer veneer.
I even know how to say the word in Russian. That was my final word to him. His face went beet-red. He turned and entered the hotel. No, I didn't get a tip but I won.

***

IT SNOWED AGAIN!

Summit of 14,000 foot (4.3 km) Mauna Kea, on the Big Island. Captured at 11:19am yesterday (10-January-07).

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.