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Friday, January 05, 2007

I AM SURE I MENTIONED IT

IT IS FUCKING SLOW

The rear parking lot at the "Triangle", during the busy part of the evening on Wednesday.
When I turned over the phone to Flor (#27) on Thursday morning I told him to pass on to Art that I would not be in on Thursday night. Monday night I went to dinner and couldn't taste the food. Tuesday I was so congested that I had to "mouth breathe" the entire night. Woke up Wednesday feeling like shit. Totally plugged, sore throat and my nose was "running" so bad that I had to stick tissue inside the nostrils to keep from soaking my shirt from the constant outflow. Turns out it is a damn cold.

One bad thing about driving a cab is that you are in intimate contact with people and their germs. I am usually not affected but apparently we have a new strain of rhino-virus mutating through the island. Might as well take off since we have no business. Should be better (or at least functioning) by Friday night.

Talk to you later. Off to bed.

Yes, I am drinking a whole hell of a lot of fluids.



The New Political Science


DEMOCRATIC

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.


REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?


SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.


CAPITALISM - AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


BUREAUCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.


AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.


FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.


IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.


POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.


FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.


CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
***


THE PICTURE GALLERY

KAUA'I

Hanapepe Valley


Ha'upu Mountain Range On Kaua'i
Hilton Kaua'i Beach Resort (right)
Kaua'i Beach Villas (left)
Honopu Beach Arch And Valley
Na Pali Coast

Interior Of Kauai East Of Mt. Waialale

Interior Of The Hanalei River Valley


Kahili Waterfalls
In Hanapepe Valley

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"Let's all be careful out there!"