TEPID TUESDAY

ABOUT AS BORING AS IT CAN GET

I made my usual average income, so I did okay, but this is January and we are supposed to be awash with tourists. And I guess we are. Every condo and timeshare is sold out. The hotels are sold out but the people aren't going anywhere. One of my longest runs of the shift was taking people from a condo in Wailea to FoodLand, so they could buy needed provisions. Didn't even get the return trip.

The dullest fare of the night was a couple from southwest Nebraska. Talk about stoic. I tried my best to engage them in some form of small talk but the best I got was one word answers to any question I asked. Usually it was just dead silence for my reply.

By contrast, I did have one young lady who would/could only say "yippie" as I drove her from one apartment complex to another in south Kihei. Every time we passed people on the street or a dog or an intersection, it was "yippie". She may have been under the influence of something but I couldn't detect it. When she got out of the cab, I silently said "yippie" to myself.

The bar crowd was virtually non-existent all night.

Tips ran the gamut from "zero" to 150%. Unfortunately it was the longer trips that generated the smaller percentages. Feces occurs.

Talking to a hotel employee at one of the "Big Box" hotels in Wailea and he told me that the groups they've had recently are not only not leaving campus but are also not using room service. They have taken the definition of "frugal" to a new level. Their banquet department says that after evry meal service that all the salt & pepper shakers are missing, along with any other condiments that were available during the breakfast/lunch/dinner service.

Hopefully these cheap-ass s.o.b.s will find my blog someday and realize how much they have missed.

Oh, it was cold this morning as I arrived home about 5:25am. Don't laugh too hard but it was 60^of (15.6^oc), which is cold here along the edge of the ocean. Remember, our homes have no insulation in the walls or roof. No heating systems and our clothing is strictly for the tropics. Okay, everything is relative to what your body is accustomed to and mine doesn't like it when we go below 65^of (18.3^oc).

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THE SPANISH COMPUTER

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."

"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

• 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;


• 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;


• 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and


• 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

THIS GETS GOOD

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:

• 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;


• 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;


• 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and


• 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

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THE PICTURE GALLERY

When Our Waves Get Big
They Get BIG!

A Sleek Dolphin In Warm Hawai'ian Waters

Demonstrating How To Open A Coconut

Hawai'ian Beach Fashion Statement

Isolated Beach On The Island Of Moloka'i

One Of Our Black Sand Beaches
Here In The Islands

Showers

The Kona Coast On The Big Island

The Sea Cliffs On Kaua'i

Thunderstorms In Hawai'i

Waikiki At Night

Winter Surf In The Islands

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"Let's all be careful out there!"