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MAHALO, MIKE!
My regular reader, Mike Weldon, sent these pics from a past visit to Mau'i:
***
There is a factory in Kansas which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena, surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday."
"Your job is to give Elmo 'two test tickles'."
***
THE HORMONE HOSTAGE
The "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth & he takes his life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a drivers license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker, or "significant other".
DANGEROUS:What's for dinner?
SAFER:Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some more wine.
DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?
SAFER:WOW, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST:WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some more wine.
DANGEROUS:What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:Could we be overreactting?
SAFEST:Heres my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some more wine.
DANGEROUS:Should you be eating that?
SAFER:You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some more wine.
DANGEROUS:What did you do all day?
SAFER:I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST:I've always loved you in that outfit!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some more wine.
+++
12 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:
- PASS MY SHOTGUN
- PSYCHOTIC MOOD SWING
- PERPETUAL MUNCHING SPREE
- PUFFY MID-DRIFF
- PEOPLE MAKE me SICK
- PROVIDE ME with SWEETS
- PARDON MY SOBBING
- PIMPLES MAY SURFACE
- PASS MY SWEATS
- PISSY MOOD SYNDROME
- PACK MY STUFF
- POTENTIAL MURDER SUSPECT
***
They'll be some more tomorrow. Off to Kahului, across the island, later today to renew my taxi license.Have a great week, everybody. Hope to see you tomorrow.
Mahalo
Aloha
THE PICTURE GALLERY
***
Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive
"Let's all be careful out there!"
