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Monday, March 06, 2006



A rugged cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, Wyoming, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

The doctor comes back and says, "I am not going to beat around the bush, You have AIDS."

The cowboy tugs at his Stetson and sets his jaw and says, "Doc, what can I do?"

The doctor says,

"I want you to go home and eat

5 pounds of spicy sausage,

a head of cabbage,

20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce,

10 Jalapeno peppers,

40 walnuts and 40 peanuts,

1/2 box of Grapenuts cereal,

and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."

The cowboy squares his rugged shoulders and asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."



"Let's all be careful out there!"


Today is my day off, so I thought that I would share some of my favorite restaurants on Mau'i.
Sarento's on the Beach is one of the few restaurants on the island that is actually "on the beach". One of two restaurants on the island (and one of eleven in the state) that received "Triple A's '4-Diamond' Award".

Not including alcohol, it typically runs about $55 per diner. Pretty reasonable for a "5-STAR" establishment. The food is excellent and the service impeccable. You get the feeling that everyone in Sarento's is there for your pleasure.

Sarento's is my favorite.
Mama's Fish House is the best seafood restaurant in the entire world. That's not just my opinion, it has been proclaimed as such by Bon Appetite, Conde Nast and Gourmet magazines. The fish is so fresh that they indicate the name of the boat and it's captain's name that caught that fish that day for each menu entre. The only way to get your fish any fresher than at "Mama's" would be to "hitch a ride" on one of the boats and bring your own hibachi with you.

While it sits right on the beach, on the east side of the island, there isn't much of a view after dark. But if you go there in the afternoon you can watch sail-boarders and kite-surfers having fun. Mama's is located just up the road from Ho'okipa beach, the windsurfing capital of the world.
Hali'imaile General Store was actually a "general store" back in the plantation era. Now it is a world class restaurant. Don't bother looking out the windows, there is nothing to see but warehouses and cane fields. But with food like this, you'll be too busy savoring the cuisine to notice.
Sansei has two locations on Mau'i. One in Kihei and the other in Kahana, on the "westside" of the island. If you like sushi, there is no better place on the globe than this. They also have karaoke, after 10pm, on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. Have some sushi, drink some saki and have fun!
ERIN GO BRAUGH. Yup, we have our own "Irish pub" here on Mau'i. Mulligan's is the 19th "puka" (hole) at the Wailea "Blue" Course. A great place for drinks and "pupu's" after a round of golf or an Irish dinner anytime. They have one hell of a "to-do" for "St. Paddy's Day" (March 17th) and "Cinco De Mayo" (May 5th).
Do you like authentic mexican food? Want an inexpensive meal? Then Mau'i Tacos is the place. As a former cop from California, I loved eating at the "taco trucks". This was authentic Mexican food. Well, Mau'i Tacos is exactly the same. Located in little "hole-in-the-wall" store fronts around the island, you can't beat it for "comfort food". This is not TACO 'HELL' crap.

***W A R N I N G*** -

If you go here, be careful about the "Sergio's Revenge" salsa from the condiment bar. Not for the"faint hearted". I eat jalapeno peppers like candy with no problems. "Sergio's Revenge" was even more than I could handle. Learned the hard way to just use it very, very sparingly, not ladle it on. It only took a couple of days for my eyes to stop "watering" and I had feeling back in my tongue/mouth/lips within a month or so. ;-)

As one of Clint Eastwood's characters said, "A man has got to know his limits." I learned mine.

I see from their web site that they are expanding across the "mainland". Check it out and see if there is one near you.
Roy Yamaguchi started "Roy's" in Kahana years ago and has expanded nationwide. Besides the original, we have a second location in Kihei. Whatever you do, do not forget to order their "Roy's Melting Hot Chocolate Soufflé" for dessert when you order your entre. You'll regret it if you don't.
Yes, I know that "Outback" is just another national "chain" restaurant, but it is a fun and inexpensive place to go. Around here it is hard to find places that serve shrimp or lobster at a reasonable price. They feature Foster's Beer from Australia (a product that makes most Australians grimace and Americans seem to love). Our local Outback even features "Australian Rules" football from a satellite fed TV. This sport makes rugby seem tame.



"Let's all be careful out there!"