A little California humor here.
The coach finally had put-together the perfect team for the Oakland Raiders. Only thing missing was a good quarterback. He'd scouted all the colleges, and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching Fox News, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand- grenade straight-into a 15-story window 100-yards away.
KAH-BOOM!!!He threw another hand-grenade 75-yards away, right into a chimney !!!
KAH-BLOOEY!!!Then he threw another one at a passing car doing 90 mph --
BULLS -EYE!"I've GOT to get this guy!", the coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!".
So he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Raiders go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football. And, when the coach asks him what he wants, all that the young man wants is to call his mother!
"Mom!", he screams into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!".
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says, "You are NOT my son!".
"I don't think you understand, Mother", the young man pleads, "I've just won the greatest sporting event in the WORLD! I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans!!!".
"NO!! Let me tell you!", his mother sharply retorts. "At this very moment there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!".
The old lady pauses, then tearfully says, "I will never, EVER forgive you for making us move to Oakland".
"Let's all be careful out there!"