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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

AND YOU THOUGHT YOUR HOUSE

DECORATIONS WERE FANCY...





"Let's all be careful out there!"

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I'VE SEEN THIS YEAR...





"Let's all be careful out there!"

OUT OF THE

OL' MAILBAG

Never choke while eating at a restaurant in the South...

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swaller?"

The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"

***
The First Kiss

It's your First Kiss and several questions might come to mind:

Is it the right time?

Is anyone watching?

Does your partner even want to?

Is your breath fresh?

AND
Should you use some tongue?

Then you say . . ..

"What the heck!' and Just Go for it!!!"



***
The Tap

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me." The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years."
***
MAHALO
for dropping by

ALOHA
until we meet again

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"Let's all be careful out there!"