AND NOW FOR SOMETHING...

COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Pasquale.

Poor Pasquale. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Pasquale quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up.......



.....then all the other bells started to ring.

***

The ant and the grasshopper revised

Two Different Versions!
Two Different Morals!

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be responsible for yourself!

-------------------------------------------

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, FOX, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is
allowed to suffer so ?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be careful how you vote in 2008

Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE

Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive

"Let's all be careful out there!"

IN BOTH INDIANA & NORTH CAROLINA

90% OF ALL BLACK VOTERS WENT WITH OBAMA

He overwhelming won NC and the verdict is still out in the "Hoosier State", with Clinton holding a slim lead. Neither one has the number of delegates necessary to win the nomination hands-down but Barack's showing yesterday is probably going to influence many of the super-delegates that he has the momentum to go for the gold in November. Hillary hasn't stopped running, yet, but did say she would fully support whomever is the Democratic nominee. Maybe Rev. Wright wasn't speaking for America, as a whole, but it looks like he had the ear of black America. Which begs the question:

Will this become an election about issues or about race?

And a secondary question:

Should Obama lose in November, will we have race riots again?

I don't know but I haven't heard anyone else mention any of these thoughts. Your opinion?

***

For his part, McCain is already campaigning for the office and stated yesterday that he would only nominate conservatives for judicial positions. The neo-con side of the Republican Party consider McCain to be a RINO (Republican In Name Only) and he needs their money and votes this year. Badly.

***

In a case of "Animal House" gone bad, a multi-agency joint task force, in "Operation Sudden Fall", arrested 96 people in San Diego yesterday for drug trafficing. 75 of them students at California State University - San Diego. One of the arrestee's was a Criminal Justice major and asked the cops if they thought this would hurt his chances of getting into law enforcement. If only for the intelligence factor alone, I think we could do without him carrying a badge.

***

In Burma/Myanmar, the International Red Cross is calling for $6,000,000 in donations to aid the victims of Cyclone Nargis. The military dictatorship of the country is hampering efforts of relief workers by demanding that all have the appropriate visas to enter the country. The problem is that the persons who process the visas are overwhelmed. One is sick and the other refuses to work alone.

***

The Asian Development Bank (ADB) has voted, at their annual meeting in Madrid, to provide $500 million to mitigate the food crisis in the poorer nations of Asia. I don't know how much has been allocated for soyu (soy sauce).

***

Faced with a $96 million shortfall in their budget, the City of Vallejo, California voted yesterday to file for bankruptcy. Vallejo (VAH-LAY-HO) is located at the far northeast end of the San Francisco Bay. It now becomes the largest city in California to go "Mother Hubbard" in its coffers. The Mayor and city council said they can no longer afford their obligations, mostly public-safety contracts, due to the massive downturn in the economy.

***

After a 5-hour standoff in the posh London community of Chelsea, in which he exchanged gunfire with the police, a man was finally shot and killed by a police armed response team. Wondering why the police couldn't have just invited him to sit down for a cup of tea, the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) plans an investigation. Has anyone else noted how gun crimes are becoming more frequent in the UK. No where close to what we have in the US but there is a discernible up-tick in the statistics.

***

As you all know, just a short while back the Fed lowered their interest rate to 2%. Now there are hints that they may have to start raising it again, possibly drastically, to off-set what is perceived as run-away inflation on the horizon.

I wish they would make up their minds. Constant revisions to the "prime" destabilizes business.

***

He hits his mark, says his lines, just like Spencer Tracy. I wouldn't classify him as a "great" actor but I agree he is good looking. George Clooney turned 47 yesterday.

***

I'll be back later with more. Thanks much for stopping in. Have a great day.

Mahalo

Aloha

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THE PICTURE GALLERY

Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive

"Let's all be careful out there!"