A MEANINGLESS GESTURE

BY A MEANINGLESS PRESIDENT


In mythology there is a story about a king who wanted to prove how powerful he was. So one day he decided to establish his strength by stopping the incoming tide. Obviously he failed and his subjects knew he was not embodied with divine powers.

The rescinding of the Executive Order, originally issued by his father, that banned offshore oil drilling by Bush today is just about the same. Bush thinks that his symbolic gesture will force the resumption of this dangerous activity. Trying to put a guilt trip on members of Congress who oppose this action. He'll start hawking about the apathy of congressional leaders for prolonging the dependence on foreign oil. What he really wants is for them to join him in the gang rape of the enviornment. He is incapable of providing a quick-fix (BTW - there isn't one) to our energy crisis.

Lets presume that Dubya gets his wish list granted. The Alaska National Wildlife Reserve is opened. The coasts of Florida, the Gulf States, California, Oregon, Washington and Alaska are forested in oil rigs for as far as the eye can see (isn't that a pleasing image). Will that provide immediate relief? Not unless your definition of immediate is about 10 years. In 10 years, the price of crude will probably be over $1,000 a barrel. Making the cost of a gallon of gasoline in America to be well over $100 a gallon.

Following the yellow brick road, in this case covered in carcasses of oil slicked birds, is just perpetuating the situation we are already in. In that same 10 years we could be virtually independent of the need for oil. Yes, life for all of us will be different but isn't that what we really need and want.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 14TH

***

Today is Monday, July 14, the 196th day of 2008. There are 170 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On July 14, 1789, during the French Revolution, citizens of Paris stormed the Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside.

On this date:

• In 1798, Congress passed the Sedition Act, making it a federal crime to publish false, scandalous or malicious writing about the United States government.
• In 1853, Commodore Matthew Perry relayed to Japanese officials a letter from President Fillmore, requesting trade relations. (Fillmore's term of office had already expired by the time the letter was delivered.)
• In 1858, British suffragist Emmeline Pankhurst was born in Manchester, England.
• In 1881, outlaw William H. Bonney Jr., alias "Billy the Kid," was shot and killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in Fort Sumner, N.M.
• In 1908, the short film "The Adventures of Dollie," the first movie directed by D.W. Griffith, opened in New York.
• In 1913, Gerald Rudolph Ford Jr., the 38th president of the United States, was born Leslie Lynch King Jr. in Omaha, Neb.
• In 1933, all German political parties, except the Nazi Party, were outlawed.
• In 1958, the army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy.
• In 1966, eight student nurses were murdered by Richard Speck in a Chicago dormitory.
• In 1978, Soviet dissident Natan Sharansky was convicted of treasonous espionage and anti-Soviet agitation, and sentenced to 13 years at hard labor. (Sharansky was released in 1986.)

Ten years ago:

• Northern Ireland said a tear-filled farewell to Richard, Mark and Jason Quinn, three young brothers burned to death in a sectarian attack in Ballymoney that came as they slept.

Five years ago:

• Iraq's new governing council, in its first full day on the job, voted to send a delegation to the U.N. Security Council and assert its right to represent Baghdad on the world stage.
• President Bush, facing questions about his credibility, said the United States was working overtime to prove Saddam Hussein was developing weapons of mass destruction before the United States invaded Iraq.

One year ago:

• North Korea told the United States it had shut down its nuclear reactor, hours after a ship cruised into port loaded with oil promised in return for the country's pledge to disarm.
• Former presidents, fellow first ladies and about 1,800 other people attended a private funeral in Austin, Texas, for Lady Bird Johnson, the widow of President Lyndon B. Johnson.

Today's Birthdays:

• Playwright Arthur Laurents is 91.
• Actor Dale Robertson is 85.
• Actor Harry Dean Stanton is 82.
• Actress Nancy Olson is 80.
• Actress Polly Bergen is 78.
• Former football player Rosey Grier is 76.
• Actor Vincent Pastore is 62.
• Former music company executive Tommy Mottola is 59.
• Actor Jerry Houser is 56.
• Actor-director Eric Laneuville is 56.
• Actor Stan Shaw is 56.
• Movie producer Scott Rudin is 50.
• Singer-guitarist Kyle Gass is 48.
• Country musician Ray Herndon (McBride and the Ride) is 48.
• Actor Jackie Earle Haley is 47.
• Actor Matthew Fox is 42.
• Rock musician Ellen Reid (Crash Test Dummies) is 42.
• Rock singer-musician Tonya Donelly is 42.
• Actress Missy Gold is 38.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Tameka Cottle (Xscape) is 33.
• Hip-hop musician taboo (Black Eyed Peas) is 33.
• Actor Scott Porter is 29.

Thought for Today:

"Jealousy is no more than feeling alone among smiling enemies."
Elizabeth Bowen, Irish novelist (1899-1973).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-196

"Let's all be careful out there!"

IT WAS A QUIET WEEKEND

WASN'T IT?

Not like 219 years ago.
Today is "Fête Nationale" or "quatorze juillet". Better known in the USA as Bastille Day.



Drunk man, believing someone is chasing him, crashes car into fence, runs into stranger's house at 2AM, begins yanking down curtains. Then, things get weird.

Iran announces discovery of new billion-barrel oil field on their territory. It's almost as if they're "asking" to be invaded.

Bad: Stealing gas from a parked car.
Stupid: It was a unmarked police car.

US may begin to withdraw troops from Iraq in September. It's like there's some event scheduled in the Fall that could hinge on this

Air Traffic Controller wanted.
Application available ib Braille.

On the road to La Casa Blanca, sometimes the truth hurts.


DOGS & CATS
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary...

• 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
• 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
• 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
• 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
• 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
• 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
• 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
• 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
• 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
• 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
• 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary…

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.........

Have a good Monday. Hope to see you again real soon. Thanks for coming by.

"Let's all be careful out there!"