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Friday, February 29, 2008

ITS LEAP DAY!

BEWARE WOMEN IN SCARLET PETTICOATS!

Here is more info than you'll ever need about Leap Year. Old-time tradition said that on Leap Day, spinsters could propose marriage to a man and he had to accept or pay a penalty.

***
My good friend, Van (Maui Action Photos), sent me these from Da Rush:


I have an equal number more to share tomorrow. Young or old. Big or small. Da Rush seems like a great place to ride the wave. Whether by boogie board, surf board or body surfing. If you live or visit here, check it out. Located right behind the Uno-Cal 76 gas station, the next block south of the "Triangle", along Kihei Road.

Here's a video I found on YouTube:


***
Allegedly written by an 86 year old lady to her bank:

Dear Sir:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows: IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
1) To make an appointment to see me
2) To query a missing payment
3) To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there
4) To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping
5) To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature
6) To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home
7) To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier
8) To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7
9) To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service
10) This is a second reminder to press* for English. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year!

Your Humble Client
***
Enjoy your weekend, everybody. Hope to see you again, soon.

Mahalo

Aloha


THE PICTURE GALLERY





***


Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive


"Let's all be careful out there!"

Thursday, February 28, 2008

ONE MORE "WAKE-UP"...

AND THIS MONTH IS HISTORY

And on Sunday; March 9th, at 2:00 AM; Daylight Savings Time will begin in most of North America.

Did any of my UK readers feel that earthquake earlier this week? By California standards, no one would have missed a beat but it is pretty dramatic for the British Isles.

I have been doing a lot of channel surfing in the evenings. TV is rapidly approaching the oft quoted "vast wasteland" and the demographics for the most popular shows must target an average IQ of 90 (or less). No wonder I spend the vast majority of my down-time on the net.

Read a poll, recently, that said if the election comes down to Clinton and McCain they are each rated at 49% of the vote. A dead even tie. Obama vs. McCain has the Democrat taking the White House, 57% to 39%. So that means the only chance that McCain has is to assist Clinton in sinking Obama. Politics do make strange bedfellows.

Have you folks on the mainland had enough Winter yet? Sweden had the mildest winter in its history this year. Oh, well. All that snow means that most of the major rivers in America should probably crest flood stage this Spring and Summer. Doesn't that just make your day?

HEROES returns to production in April, with the series returning to TV in September. Thats one thing to look forward to.

All's well at my end. Very bored. Make my daily phone calls and maybe something might turn up next month.

Now this video is interesting, if you enjoy "street art".

***
I hope each of you has the best day of your life, so far.

See you tomorrow.

Mahalo

Aloha


THE PICTURE GALLERY





***


Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive


"Let's all be careful out there!"

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

ANOTHER BLAST...

FROM THE PAST

It was a summer night in the high mountain desert of eastern Nevada. I had worked the 3 to 11 shift. Got home and the wife and son were asleep. Watched the Johnny Carson Show and was headed for bed when it ended, at 1:00 AM. At 1:04 AM the entire house rocked. A tremendous explosion, somewhere. I quickly redonned my uniform and headed out. My personal car had a police radio in it and I checked in and asked the dispatcher where she needed me. All she knew was that an explosion had occurred in the downtown area. She was excited but very much under control. She was in the turn of the century courthouse, which was just 1 block from the downtown casino area. I lived on the east end of town, about 1 mile from downtown, and as I approached the scene the dispatcher came on the radio with:
"Armed robbery in progress at the bowling alley."
I made a u-turn as one of the 2 marked patrol cars on duty passed me, running EMERGENCY, to the scene of the robbery. I fell in behind him. He silenced the siren as we neared the bowling alley. He would cover the front door and I would cover the side door.

Then dispatch advised that the suspects had fled the scene and were last observed driving a white over blue Chevy Blazer, headed south from the bowling alley. I turned down the street prior to the bowling alley and, EUREKA!, there was a white over blue Blazer one block in front of me, driving very fast and disappearing into an alleyway. My car didn't have emergency lights or siren but it was a big engined former CHP car and I knew that there was nothing in the county that could outrun me. I was "In Pursuit" and advised dispatch.

In situations such as this, your cognitive process is moving just below warp speed. I surmised that the explosion had been a ruse to distract attention so the robbery could go down. Twisting and turning, I chased the guys for a few blocks, into alleys, back on streets and, finally, he came to a stop.

"OH SHIT!" was my first thought. I don't have any backup. This was going to be just me against 2 armed suspects and all I had was my revolver and 12 rounds of extra ammo. He stopped half turned around a corner, blocking my view of the drivers door. I swung out wide, so I could see that door, and braked. Throwing the gear lever into "park", I bailed out and went prone under the door, protected by the front wheel and engine block. This made me a very small target and I had a clear view (and shot if necessary). My heart was racing. The driver leapt out and I ordered him to
"FREEZE OR I'LL SHOOT!"
He froze.

And my car drove right into the left rear of the suspect's vehicle.
"You just hit my car!" the driver exclaimed and I recognized his voice. It was another off-duty officer who lived right behind the bowling alley and had been inside when the robbery had occurred, unarmed. He had just purchased the Blazer that day, which is why I didn't recognize it.

Now we had nothing to followup on. By this time almost every police officer and deputy sheriff were out, searching the immediate area. The only info was that it was a "Mutt & Jeff" team. One extremely tall and one very short. Wearing ski masks, gloves and long sleeved shirts.

They had filled a 100 foot garden hose, that was stored under the bandstand in the County park, with black powder and detonated it. Blowing out every window for a 10 block radius. Including the windows at the courthouse where the dispatcher was sitting, less than 300 feet from the explosion. Luckily, the courthouse was constructed of granite stone blocks and the window where she was sitting was facing perpendicular from the blast. The biggest piece of the old bandstand was a 4x4, about 6 feet long, buried 3 feet into the courthouse's front lawn. Some people had been slightly injured from flying glass and the property damage (buildings, vehicles, etc) was extensive but not serious. All the windows in the high school, which was located across the street from the park, were gone. On all sides.

During the followup investigation, we learned that a county parks groundskeeper had a teenage boy who was almost 6'5" tall. This kid's best buddy was a shrimp that stood just 5'. Both these kids had extensive juvenile records.

ATF agents, out of the Las Vegas office, responded and did the on-scene forensics. We knew who had done it and eventually we were able to bring before the juvenile court a comprehensive case. Which we lost, due to the incompetent District Attorney. But the long arm of the law never rests. Every time these punks screwed up, we were there and busted them. Finally, both were sent to the State Reformatory, in Sparks, until they turned 18. By which time I had moved back to California and returned to my old sheriff's office.

Oh, the officer whose new Blazer I had hit, he let his insurance cover it. Both he and his wife agreed that, given the circumstances, he would have done exactly the same thing.

***
Have a fantastic day.

See you tomorrow?

Mahalo

Aloha


THE PICTURE GALLERY





***


Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive


"Let's all be careful out there!"

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I'LL GET BY WITH A LITTLE...

HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

I would l;ike you to meet my Aunt Nancy & Uncle Bob. I can still remember the day they got married. They are now in their 70's

When I was growing up, I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. And still do.
They have put together a genealogy website (password: pathway) of their combined family history. Bob has been able to trace his family name/tree back to 1290ce.

This is my Dad:
And my Mom:
This is Mom's father:
He was one of the most gentle and loving persons I have ever met.

And my Mom's mother:
And this is Gramps mother:
I remember "Grannie" Richardson. She was fun to be around. Her husband, my great-grandfather was killed by a drunk driver shortly before I was born. A very pretty young lady.

***
Well, its been tougher than I thought getting a new taxi job. Not that people don't want ME, just that business is so slow that many have shut down or drastically cut back their operations. I'll have the rent covered by the 1st, but I am going on mimimum rations. Which shouldn't hurt. Weight control has always been an issue for me. Friends have also lent me some money, just because their friends. Thank you.

The surprising news is that I received a form from a life insurance company today. Turns out that when I was born, my parents took out a $1,000 policy on Mom, with me as the secondary beneficiary. Today it is worth about $5,500 and I'll receive the payout after the middle of March. That will give me some breathing room.

Doesn't life move in mysterious ways?

Forrest Gump's mama was right. Life is like a box of chocolates.


I hope you can stop back in tomorrow.

Mahalo

Aloha


THE PICTURE GALLERY





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Over The Limit?
UNDER ARREST!
Please don't drink and drive


"Let's all be careful out there!"