A FEW SMIRKS

WARNING
FOR MATURE READERS ONLY

So kids, if your parents should walk in while you're reading this, just click here and say this to them:

"With the falling dollar, the rising gold index and runaway crude oil prices. Shouldn't the two of you be reviewing your 401-k options?"

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1.) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

Ask your mother.

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2) How do you embarrass an archeologist?

Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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3) What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A whore sleeps with everybody at the party; A bitch sleeps with everybody at the party, except you.

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4) What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

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5) What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?

A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

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6) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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7) What is the biggest problem for an atheist?

No one to talk to during orgasm.

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8) What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?

A mechanic.

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9) Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

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10) Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?

The one who can eat the last donut.

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11) Jewish dilemma:

Free PORK.

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12) The three words men hate to hear most during sex:

"Are you in?"

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13) The three words women hate to hear most during sex:

"Honey, I'm home!"

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Later.....

Wil
=8^))
"Let's all be careful out there!"

ZIPPITY DO DAH

WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY!

NOT!

I usually awake around 3:00pm, leap jump hop crawl stumble out of bed, get a HUGE glass of iced tea and head for the PC to find out what has happened in our world.

Today, I was jerked into reality by the BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP of my alarm clock at 5:00pm.

Crawling out of bed was a barely viable option, falling would probably be more accurate.

The body was clearly sending the signal that this day wasn't going to involve me.

Felt like I had had my ass stomped by a rampaging bull.

Called off, fed BEAR and went back to bed.

2:30am now. Wide awake. Feeling somewhat better.

I'll probably be ok for Friday night. Besides, that is one of my two nights to dispatch, and we all know how much that means to me.
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Later.....

Wil
=8^))
"Let's all be careful out there!"