Paradise Driver: 08/13/06

Sunday, August 13, 2006

PAGING PARIS HILTON

WE HAVE FOUND YOUR DOPPLEGANGER

Made a pickup at the Tiki Lounge, in the "Triangle", last night at bar close. A 3-pax. Two ladies and a guy. It was obvious that the people in the backseat were a "couple". The blonde that rode "shotgun" was the "third-wheel". Our destination was the Polo Beach Club, which sits on the beach behind the Kea Lani, in Wailea.

Just as I pull onto south Kihei road, blondie says she wants to go to Ohina street. Ohina is a residential street, just south of where I live. Not a problem, its just a short side jaunt from our route. As we approach the "76" station she shouts "Turn here! Turn here!" So I pull into the station. She needs cigarettes. The guy in the back says, "What are you doing, Kaitlyn?"

"I want some fucking cigarettes."

She gets out and I get my first good look at her. Initial impression was of a tall blonde, mid to late 20's. Wearing a mini-skirt that wasn't much longer than most belts are wide. Short enough that, when she bent over to pick up some dropped coins, you could see that she was wearing thong panties so abbreviated that it basically was just a strand of dental floss in her butt. The guy in the back also sees this and just says, "geez".

Get back on the road and the guy asks where Ohina street is and I explain the location

"Kaitlyn. I hope this guy is a good fuck."

She just gave a mumbled, inebriated response and pulls out her cell phone. I ask for the house number on Ohina and she tells me she doesn't know it but will recognize the house.

I would need my PC to calculate how many times a drunk has told me that, in exactly the same words. We were going on a "Drunkards Walk".

She was using her phone in "speaker mode" and when it was answered I could easily hear the other end of the conversation. It was obvious that this dude had given her his number, along with a single pink rose, during some encounter that night. He had apparently left the "Triangle" earlier and went home. Her call had awoken him. She wanted him to stand in front of his house so she could find it. While he was very polite towards her, it was obvious that he was not opting to satisfy her carnal desires.

I drove slowly down Ohina street waiting for her to tell me to stop. We reached the end of the street and there was no Prince Charming to be seen. Turned around and started back.

By the context of their conversation, I figured out that blondie and the guy in the back seat were brother and sister.

Finally the guy says, "I am making an executive decision here. Take us directly to Polo Beach."

"Yes, sir"

Kaitlyn then tells me to stop the cab, so she can get out. She apparently planned to wander this neighborhood until she found what she wanted. Big brother and the other lady (sister-in-law?) both immediately told her that there was no way they were going to leave her in some strange place, lost, in the middle of the night.

I started making a series of turns through the streets, working my way to Wailea.

"Stop this cab NOW! Or I am going to open the door and jump out."

Pressed the doorlock button and increased the speed just a bit so that she might get a little scared. When the locks clicked, I heard the briother softly say, "Good move."

"This cab driver is an asshole and he is kidnapping me."

The sister-in-law started chewing Kaitlyn out, in a firm but gentle "big sister" voice.

"No he isn't. He has been very polite to you, Kaitlyn, and he is only thinking of your welfare. You can call Mr. 'Long Dick' when we get to the condo and he can pick you up there. Or you can borrow my vibrator, if you didn't bring one, to get you through the night. But you are going home. So shut up and quit being rude to the driver. He has taken enough of your stupid abuse."

7 minutes later, I dropped them at the Polo Beach Club and had to remind Kaitlyn to take her rose that she had left on the front seat.

And that was the only interesting ride the whole night. But I had a lot of rides and another night of very big "bucks" on the meter.

My final run of the shift was at 4:30am from The Grand to OGG. A really nice guy. Former CHP (California Highway Patrol) State Traffic Officer, who had moved on to working for the U.S. Treasury Department as a Secret Service Agent. He had worked in both Executive Protection and later in Counterfitting. Now he is part of a team of private security people who provide presidential style protection for very wealthy VIPs. He has four more months to go on his current assignment and then will retire to his farm in South Carolina. 122 days to go. Good luck, Dan.

METROBLOG-HAWAI'I

I have accepted an invitation to be an author for MetBlog-Hawai'i. They may be a bit surprised at my style. Drop by sometime. While it won't be an exact copy of Paradise Driver, it will be similar in nature.

Til tomorrow....

TODAYS PICS

Paradise

Look real close and you'll see the road to Hana

One of those where words can't describe it

Fido takes a ride

Commuting, Hawai'i style

Do to all the cancellations, airlines are offering very deep diacounts for trips to Hawai'i. This is a short term offer. Why not just just drop everything and get over here NOW. Hotel rates are also really cheap. This could be a "once in a lifetime" opportunity. Check Cheap Tickets.Com