DRUNKS

THE GOOD
THE BAD
THE UGLY

It was one of those nights where the blithering idots were out in full force. Picked up #14 just before 7:00PM and was assigned 2nd up in town. Get my first fare less than 15 minutes later. A nice run from Hawai'ian Moons (health food store), in south Kihei, to Kihei Village (residential condos), at the far north end of town.

Roll back to FoodLand and two guys flag me to go to the Diamond Resort in Wailea, just up the hill from Mulligans and the Fairmont Kea Lani. Looks like a good night.

Wrong.

Sat in Wailea for 2 hours until my next fare. Picked up a party of 6 from the Seawatch Restaurant, at the Wailea Gold & Emerald Golf Course, dropped 3 at Mulligans and took the other 3 to the Maui Hill (vacation condos), in far south Kihei. Part of a wedding party and I think part of that same group that I was moving last night. Some of the folks were from Canada, some OZ and a large number from the UK. Mau'i was the logical (& romantic) midway point for a wedding. Anywho, just as I am entering Maui Hill, the lady riding shotgun turns green and begins scratching at the door handle. #14's right window motor is kaput but I brought the cab to an almost instant stop as she finally gets the door open and bails out, screaming for "Ralph" just a few seconds later. No contamination of the cab and thats where I dropped them, with a very nice gratuity.

The next run was an hour later, 2 very beautiful young ladies from Huntington Beach, CA, USA. The one sitting behind me was unconscious before I cleared the parking area at the "Triangle" and the other was a "jabbermouth". I think she took 2 breaths the entire 10 minute trip. Paid by credit card and the valet at the Marriott helped "chatty Cathy" out of the cab and I assisted "Sleeping Beauty" return to reality and begin the looong trek to their suite. I am amazed that women can still walk in 5 inch heels when that drunk. Nice view from the rear though. LOL.

After that it was a couple of routine drunk runs between 12:30AM and 1:30AM.

At 1:40AM I picked up 6 from Mulligans, with multiple stops. All part of that same wedding group. Just as they are all boarded, some third party leaps through the right sliding door and starts pounding the shit out of the guy sitting in the left center seat, right behind me. I tried to shove him away, to no avail, and "Maggie" was unreachable. So switch to "Plan B". Jabbed him, the assailant, in the throat with 3 stiff fingers, hard. That ended the fight immediately and he was dumped on his ass, in the parking lot. Off we went. Found out that TMR picked him up about 15 minutes later, after the bartender at Mulligans had kicked his ass down the long flight of stairs from the bar to the parking lot.

Just about 2:00AM, I get "flagged" in the FoodLand lot by three young guys. That ride lasted all of 30 seconds before I booted them out. They went from needing a ride to "lets fuck with the cabbie" in the amount of time it took to shift from "Park" to "Drive".

Rule #1 - don't screw with "Santa", he has an attitude.

I am just about ready to meet with my relief, Mary, to pass on the phone and call it a night, at 4:00AM, when Maui Jim calls. He had a "special" from the Maui Vista (mixed use condos) to the harbor, in Kahului, that he wanted me to cover. That added $45 to the meter.

Most schools on the mainland will begin their Christmas break around noon this coming Thursday and we should start seeing the tourists arriving on the next day. All these alabaster visitors with tinges of "Smurf" blue, looking for some Sun/Sand/Surf.

All I care about is the "green" in their wallets.

10 fares / 120 miles / 3rd quarter $100 bracket

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I am not even sure why I am writing this post. Its the next to the last weekend before Christmas and very few will stop by. Oh, well. I just keep churning it out like a creamery.

A statistic I came across this week says that the average American family spends about $950 for the holiday. Thats a lot of moola to this po' ol' country boy.

It may be awhile before I post any images taken by me again. My sad lil' Sony CyberShot has bit the dust. I'll get a replacement after the first of the year when the cash flow is a bit more conducive to discretionary expenditures.

MAHALO

ALOHA

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THE PICTURE GALLERY

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"Let's all be careful out there!"