DAILY CHUCKLE 8-209

"Let's all be careful out there!"

ITS CALLED THE

"TRUMAN SHOW DELUSION"

A mental disorder where people think their lives are part of some global reality TV show. I think I suffered from that once, but the show was cancelled after the first episode. Poor ratings.

"What a tangled web we weave..."
Conspiracy theories find life on-line.

For 80 years, every hour on the hour, the war monument clock in Galashiels, Scotland has chimed. Until Ann Tozer, who owns a B&B a short distance from the clock, filed a noise complaint. Now it is silenced. Bet she is popular with the rest of the townfolk.


Here in the States, its not uncommon for a judge to have a firearm concealed under his/her robes. And nobody really gives it a second thought. The British aren't quite as understanding when one of theirs is found to have a knife.

"Anything not factory recommended would void the warranty." You mean like blowing the shit out of your lawnmower with a shotgun and handgun?

Wanna bet that visitor rates increase at the Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas after this.

I guess these teen "bad guys" have never watched The Wire.

It may be that diamonds are not just a girl's best friend.

Hospital rules:

• No smoking.
• No cell phones.
• and for the love of all that is holy, leave your grenades at home.

You know, the life of a crook isn't as easy as you might think. Why don't the victims just follow the script?

French prankster Rémi Gaillard is famous for sneaking his way into professional sporting events. Now he's showing his soccer skills in a video called "Urban Soccer".

He is GOOD! Watch the video:


Urban Soccer - More amazing video clips are a click away

Okay. Got this edited up before my son's 40th birthday party started. Hope it satisfactory. Enjoy your Sunday and mahalo for coming by.

"
Let's all be careful out there!"

FIREFLY - SHINDIG (episode 04)

I have moved all my Firefly episodes to my other blog.

Just click here.

These episodes are now independent of the Hulu feed and will not continuously disappear.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 26TH

***

Today is Saturday, July 26, the 208th day of 2008. There are 158 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On July 26, 1908, U.S. Attorney General Charles J. Bonaparte issued an order creating a force of special agents that was a forerunner of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

On this date:

• In 1775, Benjamin Franklin became Postmaster-General.
• In 1788, New York became the 11th state to ratify the U.S. Constitution.
• In 1856, playwright Bernard Shaw was born in Dublin, Ireland.
• In 1945, Winston Churchill resigned as Britain's prime minister after his Conservatives were soundly defeated by the Labour Party. (Clement Attlee became the new prime minister.)
• In 1947, President Truman signed the National Security Act.
• In 1952, Argentina's first lady, Eva Peron, died in Buenos Aires at age 33.
• In 1956, Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser nationalized the Suez Canal.
• In 1958, Britain's Prince Charles, age 9, was made the Prince of Wales by his mother, Queen Elizabeth II, although his investiture did not take place until the following year.
• In 1971, Apollo 15 was launched from Cape Kennedy, Fla.
• In 1986, kidnappers in Lebanon released the Rev. Lawrence Martin Jenco, an American hostage held for nearly 19 months.

Ten years ago:

• The White House said President Clinton's lawyers were working with prosecutor Kenneth Starr to avert Clinton's direct testimony to a grand jury about the Monica Lewinsky case. (The president ended up testifying via closed-circuit television.)
• AT&T and British Telecommunications PLC announced they were forming a joint venture that would combine their international operations and develop a new Internet system. (The joint venture, known as Concert, proved a money-loser and was shut down.)

Five years ago:

• Backers of a drive to oust California Gov. Gray Davis held a boisterous celebration at the state Capitol in Sacramento, more than two months before the Oct. 7 recall election.
• Cuba celebrated the 50th anniversary of the start of Fidel Castro's revolution against Fulgencio Batista.
• New York Times music critic Harold C. Schonberg died in New York at age 87.

One year ago:

• The Senate passed, 85-8, a measure intensifying anti-terror efforts in the U.S.
• Wall Street suffered one of its worst losses of 2007, closing down more than 310 points.

Today's Birthdays:

• Actress Marjorie Lord is 90.
• Movie director Blake Edwards is 86.
• Actor James Best is 82.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer-songwriter Bobby Hebb is 70.
• Singer Dobie Gray is 68.
• Actress-singer Darlene Love is 67.
• Singer Brenton Wood is 67.
• Rock star Mick Jagger is 65.
• Movie director Peter Hyams is 65.
• Actress Helen Mirren is 63.
• Rock musician Roger Taylor (Queen) is 59.
• Actress Susan George is 58.
• Actor Kevin Spacey is 49.
• Rock singer Gary Cherone is 47.
• Actress Sandra Bullock is 44.
• Rock singer Jim Lindberg (Pennywise) is 43.
• Actor Jeremy Piven is 43.
• Rapper-reggae singer Wayne Wonder is 42.
• Actor Cress Williams is 38.
• Actress Kate Beckinsale is 35.
• Rock musician Dan Konopka (OK Go) is 34.
• Gospel/Contemporary Christian singer Rebecca St. James is 31.
• Christian rock musician Jamie Sharpe (Rush of Fools) is 19.

Thought for Today:

"One brave deed makes no hero."
John Greenleaf Whittier, American poet and essayist (1807-1892).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-208

"Let's all be careful out there!"

WHY COULDN'T POLITICAL CONTESTS

ALL BE AS EYE CATCHING AS THIS?



Boy Bites Dog and wins. Against a pitbull, no less.

Lets face it, the British cuisine is not noted by most world travelers as being the best (save their delicious fish'n'chips). So when food critics in the London papers give your new eatery a thumbs down, you might be really busy.

The guy on the left has been running a con in the Austin TX area. Claims to be the grandson of ol blue eyes.

I don't see any resemblance. Do you?

He was arrested and his boots ain't gonna be a'walkin' for awhile.


Exactly one year, to the day, apart. Same suspect. Same police department. Same high-speed pursuit. Same end result. "Here, Elroy. Hold my beer and watch this.".

Your home is featured on national TV. The show's producer pays off your mortgage and gives you $100,000 in cash. So, why is the bank foreclosing?

IRS issues stimulus check to man deceased for over one year. It didn't work. Hes still dead

43 year old woman arrested for running nude in park. Part of a "Truth or Dare" game with teen boys. We can all breath easier. She isn't a teacher.

Now I can sleep a lot easier. Turns out that UFOs and aliens are really fallen angels sent by Satan to test Christian faith. Nice to get that all cleared up.

Norfolk &%$#-in' VA to @#$&-in' rescind %&@#$mn anti-profanity ordinance.

State trooper does news interview about idiot drivers on I-10. Idiot driver offers a demonstration.

Thanks for coming over. Have a great weekend.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

FIREFLY - BUSHWACKED (episode 03)

I have moved all my Firefly episodes to my other blog.

Just click here.

These episodes are now independent of the Hulu feed and will not continuously disappear.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 25TH

Today is Friday, July 25, the 207th day of 2008. There are 159 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On July 25, 1956, the Italian liner Andrea Doria collided with the Swedish passenger ship Stockholm off the New England coast late at night and began sinking; at least 51 people were killed. (The Andrea Doria sank the following day, some 11 hours after the crash.)

On this date:

• In 1866, Ulysses S. Grant was named General of the Army of the United States, the first officer to hold the rank.
• In 1868, Congress passed an act creating the Wyoming Territory.
• In 1943, Benito Mussolini was dismissed as premier of Italy by Victor Emmanuel III, and placed under arrest. (However, Mussolini was later rescued by the Nazis, and re-asserted his authority.)
• In 1946, the United States detonated an atomic bomb near Bikini Atoll in the Pacific in the first underwater test of the device.
• In 1952, Puerto Rico became a self-governing commonwealth of the United States.
• In 1957, Tunisia became a republic.
• In 1963, the United States, the Soviet Union and Britain initialed a treaty in Moscow prohibiting the testing of nuclear weapons in the atmosphere, in space or underwater.
• In 1978, Louise Joy Brown, the first "test tube baby," was born in Oldham, England; she'd been conceived through the technique of in-vitro fertilization.
• In 1994, Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin and Jordan's King Hussein signed a declaration at the White House ending their countries' 46-year-old formal state of war.
• In 2000, a New York-bound Air France Concorde crashed outside Paris shortly after takeoff, killing all 109 people on board and four people on the ground; it was the first-ever crash of the supersonic jet.

Ten years ago:

• Two government officials revealed that special prosecutor Kenneth Starr had subpoenaed President Clinton to testify before a federal grand jury about the Monica Lewinsky case.
• The U.S. Capitol was reopened, a day after a gunman killed two police officers.

Five years ago:

• President Bush ordered U.S. troops into position off the coast of Liberia to support the arrival of a West African peacekeeping force, as renewed violence in the capital brought despairing pleas for American help.
• President Bush received Palestinian Prime Minister Mahmoud Abbas at the White House.
• Movie director John Schlesinger died in Palm Springs, Calif., at age 77.

One year ago:

• A presidential commission urged broad changes to veterans' care that would boost benefits for family members helping the wounded, establish an easy-to-use Web site for medical records and overhaul the way disability pay was awarded.
• The bullet-riddled body of one of 23 South Koreans held hostage in Afghanistan by Taliban kidnappers was found; eight other captives were released.
• Congress Party stalwart Pratibha Patil was sworn in as India's first female president.

Today's Birthdays:

• Actress Estelle Getty is would have been 85. She passed on the 22nd.
  
• Actress Barbara Harris is 73.
• Rock musician Verdine White (Earth, Wind & Fire) is 57.
• Singer-musician Jem Finer (The Pogues) is 53.
• Model-actress Iman is 53.
• Cartoonist Ray Billingsley ("Curtis") is 51.
• Rock musician Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth) is 50.
• Actress-singer Bobbie Eakes is 47.
• Actress Katherine Kelly Lang (TV: "The Bold and the Beautiful") is 47.
• Actress Illeana Douglas is 43.
• Country singer Marty Brown is 43.
• Actor Matt LeBlanc is 41.
• Actor D.B. Woodside is 39.
• Actress Miriam Shor is 37.
• Actor James Lafferty (TV: "One Tree Hill") is 23.

Thought for Today:

"The truth is all things seen under the form of eternity."
George Santayana, Spanish-American philosopher (1863-1952).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-207

"Let's all be careful out there!"

CANDY RICE HAS A...

PRICE ON HER HEAD

A $NZ5,000 reward for any Auckland University student who can successfully place her under arrest this weekend.

Who said it? BUSH or BATMAN

Don't you just love it when neo-con talk show hosts really screw up? Its even funnier when they try to blame liberals for it.

You wouldn't think a bumper sticker would cause this much reaction, would you?

We all know how bad the Reagan administration was about breaking laws. With the Bush docket, you need a scorecard to keep track.

I know the American justice system is founded on British common law but sometimes you wonder if that isn't a mistake.

Those "Don't Feed The Animals" signs at the zoo might need some modification. Some zoos are offering free admission to holders of food stamp cards. Modification: "Don't take the animal's food either"

Here's the church
Here's the steeple
Another crane falls
Crushing two people

Part of the ritual of becoming a TV news reporter is having to do live remotes from bad locations. This girl is a trouper. I doubt if she weighs more than 90 lbs.


Arkansas has a problem with one series of their license plates.



Its TGIF. Everybody have a great weekend.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

FIREFLY - THE TRAIN JOB (episode 02)

I have moved all my Firefly episodes to my other blog.

Just click here.

These episodes are now independent of the Hulu feed and will not continuously disappear.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 24TH

***

Today is Thursday, July 24, the 206th day of 2008. There are 160 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On July 24, 1858, Republican senatorial candidate Abraham Lincoln formally challenged Democrat Stephen A. Douglas to a series of political debates; the result was seven face-to-face encounters.

On this date:

• In 1783, Latin American revolutionary Simon Bolivar was born in Caracas, Venezuela.
• In 1847, Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived in the Great Salt Lake Valley in present-day Utah.
• In 1862, the eighth president of the United States, Martin Van Buren, died in Kinderhook, N.Y.
• In 1866, Tennessee became the first state to be readmitted to the Union after the Civil War.
• In 1929, President Hoover proclaimed the Kellogg-Briand Pact, which renounced war as an instrument of foreign policy.
• In 1937, the state of Alabama dropped charges against four of the nine young black men accused of raping two white women in the "Scottsboro Case."
• In 1948, Henry A. Wallace accepted the presidential nomination of the Progressive Party in Philadelphia.
• In 1959, during a visit to Moscow, Vice President Richard M. Nixon engaged in his famous "Kitchen Debate" with Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev.
• In 1967, French President Charles de Gaulle stirred controversy during a visit to Montreal, Canada, when he declared, "Vive le Quebec libre!" (Long live free Quebec!)
• In 1974, the Supreme Court unanimously ruled that President Nixon had to turn over subpoenaed White House tape recordings to the Watergate special prosecutor.

Ten years ago:

• A gunman burst into the U.S. Capitol, opening fire and killing two police officers before being shot and captured. (The accused shooter, Russell Eugene Weston Jr., is being held in a federal mental facility.)
• The motion picture "Saving Private Ryan," starring Tom Hanks and directed by Steven Spielberg, was released.

Five years ago:

• The House and Senate intelligence committees issued their final report on the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, citing countless blunders, oversights and miscalculations that prevented authorities from stopping the attackers.

One year ago:

• President Bush, speaking at Charleston Air Force Base in South Carolina, sought to justify the Iraq war by citing intelligence reports he said showed a link between al-Qaida's operation in Iraq and the terror group that attacked the United States on Sept. 11.
• A grand jury in New Orleans refused to indict Dr. Anna Pou, who was accused of murdering four seriously ill hospital patients with drug injections during the desperate aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
• Five Bulgarian nurses and a Palestinian doctor, sentenced to life in prison in Libya for allegedly infecting children with HIV, were released after 8 1/2 years behind bars.
• The U.S. minimum wage rose 70 cents to $5.85 an hour, the first increase in a decade.

Today's Birthdays:

• Movie director Peter Yates is 79.
• Actress Jacqueline Brookes is 78.
• Actor John Aniston (TV: "Days of Our Lives") is 75.
• Political cartoonist Pat Oliphant is 73.
• Comedian Ruth Buzzi is 72.
• Actor Mark Goddard is 72.
• Actor Dan Hedaya is 68.
• Actor Chris Sarandon is 66.
• Comedian Gallagher is 62.
• Actor Robert Hays is 61.
• Former Republican national chairman Marc Racicot is 60.
• Actor Michael Richards is 59.
• Actress Lynda Carter is 57.
• Movie director Gus Van Sant is 56.
• Country singer Pam Tillis is 51.
• Actor Kadeem Hardison is 43.
• Actress-singer Jennifer Lopez is 40.
• Actress Laura Leighton is 40.
• Actor John P. Navin Jr. is 40.
• Basketball player-turned-actor Rick Fox is 39.
• Actress-singer Kristin Chenoweth is 38.
• Actor Eric Szmanda is 33.
• Actress Rose Byrne is 29.
• Actress Summer Glau is 27.
• Actress Elisabeth Moss is 26.
• Actress Anna Paquin is 26.
• Actress Mara Wilson is 21.
• TV personality Bindi Irwin is 10.

Thought for Today:

"History, n. An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools."
From "The Cynic's Word Book" by Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-206

"Let's all be careful out there!"

ITS CALLED...

EXTREME CATAPULTING

Video proof that Americans aren't the only crazy people in the world.


My favorite "Golden Girl" recently passed at 84. Did you know that Estelle Getty was actually the youngest member of the cast? Here is a cute video she once made:


Ever wonder why our general election is held on the Tuesday following the first Monday in November?


Antarctica Time lapse: A Year on Ice


When homeowners lose their homes in forclosure, we laugh at them and call them stupid. When banks make high-risk investments on subprime debtors and lose, we issue $300,000,000,000 to bail them out

Are you smarter than a 5th grader?


Drive-by shootings are so 20th century The new fad in mass mayhem is drive-by grenading.

"Dude, I can't talk, I'm being chased by the police,"

Another entry in the LLDE hall of shame

Thank you for visiting Hope to see you again real soon.

"Let's all be careful out there!"