AUGUST 18TH

***

Today is Monday, August 18, the 231st day of 2008.
There are 135 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On August 18, 1587, Virginia Dare became the first child of English parents to be born on American soil, on what is now Roanoke Island, N.C. (However, the colony she was born into ended up mysteriously disappearing.)

On this date:

• In 1838, the first marine expedition sponsored by the U.S. government set sail from Hampton Roads, Va.; the crews traveled the southern Pacific Ocean, gathering scientific information.
• In 1846, U.S. forces led by Gen. Stephen W. Kearny captured Santa Fe, N.M.
• In 1894, Congress established the Bureau of Immigration.
• In 1920, the 19th Amendment to the Constitution, which guarantees the right of all American women to vote, was ratified as Tennessee became the 36th state to approve it.
• In 1938, President Franklin D. Roosevelt and Canadian Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie King dedicated the Thousand Islands Bridge connecting the United States and Canada.
• In 1958, the novel "Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov was first published in New York by G.P. Putnam's Sons, almost three years after the book was originally published in Paris.
• In 1963, James Meredith became the first black student to graduate from the University of Mississippi.
• In 1969, the Woodstock Music and Art Fair ended in Sullivan County, N.Y., with a mid-morning set performed by Jimi Hendrix.
• In 1976, two U.S. Army officers were killed in Korea's demilitarized zone as a group of North Korean soldiers wielding axes and metal pikes attacked U.S. and South Korean soldiers.
• In 1983, Hurricane Alicia slammed into the Texas coast, leaving 21 dead and causing more than a billion dollars' worth of damage.

Ten years ago:

• A day after his grand jury testimony, President Clinton left Washington on a vacation with his family. Meanwhile, some lawmakers called for Clinton to resign in the wake of his admissions concerning Monica Lewinsky, while a spokeswoman for Hillary Rodham Clinton said the first lady "believes in this marriage."

Five years ago:

• A senior French health official resigned after France's health minister admitted that up to 5,000 people might have died in a heat wave.
• The Liberian government and rebels signed a peace accord.
• Islamic extremists freed 14 European tourists six months after they were kidnapped by an al-Qaida-linked group in the Algerian desert.

One year ago:

• Alarmed tourists jammed Caribbean airports for flights out of Hurricane Dean's path as the monster storm began sweeping past the Dominican Republic and Haiti. NASA, meanwhile, ordered space shuttle Endeavour back to Earth a day early out of fear Dean might disrupt flight operations.
• A seven-alarm fire ripped through an abandoned skyscraper next to ground zero in lower Manhattan, killing two firefighters who responded to the blaze.
• Michael K. Deaver, a close adviser to President Reagan, died in Bethesda, Md., at age 69.

Today's Birthdays:

• Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter is 81.
• Movie director Roman Polanski is 75.
• Actor Robert Redford is 71.
• Singer Johnny Preston is 69.
• Actor Christopher Jones is 67.
• Actor Henry G. Sanders is 66.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Sarah Dash (LaBelle) is 65.
• Actor-comedian Martin Mull is 65.
• Rock musician Dennis Elliott is 58.
• Comedian Elayne Boosler is 56.
• Actor Patrick Swayze is 56.
• Country singer Steve Wilkinson (The Wilkinsons) is 53.
• Actor Denis Leary is 51.
  
• Actress Madeleine Stowe is 50.
• News anchor Bob Woodruff is 47.
• Actor Craig Bierko is 43.
• Rock singer-musician Zac Maloy (The Nixons) is 40.
• Hip-hop artist Everlast is 39.
• Rapper Masta Killa (Wu-Tang Clan) is 39.
• Actor Christian Slater is 39.
• Actor Edward Norton is 39.
• Actor Malcolm-Jamal Warner is 38.
• Actress Kaitlin Olson is 33.
• Rock musician Dirk Lance is 32.
• Actor-comedian Andy Samberg (TV: "Saturday Night Live") is 30.
• Actress Parker McKenna Posey is 13.

Thought for Today:

"New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common."
John Locke, English philosopher (1632-1704).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-231

"Let's all be careful out there!"

WASN'T "MR PHELPS"

THE LEADER OF THE IMF TEAM
ON MISSION IMPOSSIBLE?

When television is good, nothing--not the theater, not the magazines or newspapers--nothing is better.

But when television is bad, nothing is worse. I invite you to sit down in front of your television set when your station goes on the air and stay there without a book, magazine, newspaper, profit and-loss sheet or rating book to distract you--and keep your eyes glued to that set until the station signs off. I can assure you that you will observe a vast wasteland.

You will see a procession of game shows, violence, audience-participation shows, formula comedies about totally unbelievable families, blood and thunder, mayhem, violence, sadism, murder, western badmen, western good men, private eyes, gangsters, more violence and cartoons. And, endlessly, commercials--many screaming, cajoling and offending. And most of all, boredom. True, you will see a few things you will enjoy. But they will be very, very few. And if you think I exaggerate, try it.

- Newton Minnow's famous 1961 speech to the National Association of Broadcasters.

And 47 years later, nothing has changed. Except for the amount of screaming, obnoxious ads per hour.


A new entrant in my Lex Luthor Doesn't Exist (LLDE) column.

Ah, the perfect combination for fun and games. Tourist meccas that want your money and tourists who never want to be sober. What could possibly go wrong?

• Stealing a car: Bad.
• Leaving it parked in your driveway: Unwise.
• Leaving the ATM, that you used a stolen forklift to rip-off, in your sideyard: Stupid.
• Oh, and the receipt for the down payment on the new jeep: PRICELESS.

Hi there, boys & girls. In today's lesson on world economics we are going to learn how Russians shop for new cars while on holiday. And then we will discuss the meaning of the phrase "War is hell!"

"If the police can identify you, they can make a charge"

Now this sounds like an enforcement action that I could get a grip hand on. Of course if this isn't about the stupidest statement a gov't leader could make. Sorry, but "Mission Accomplished" falls in a whole "nuther" category.

Okay, what has come over the female teachers in our country? Seems like we get a new episode of this every month.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend. Thanks for the visit.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

AUGUST 17TH

***

Today is Sunday, August 17, the 230th day of 2008.
There are 136 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On August 17, 1807, Robert Fulton's North River Steamboat began heading up the Hudson River on its successful round-trip between New York and Albany.

On this date:

• In 1863, Federal batteries and ships began bombarding South Carolina's Fort Sumter in Charleston harbor during the Civil War, but the Confederates managed to hold on despite several days of pounding.
• In 1896, a prospecting party discovered gold in Canada's Yukon territory, a finding that touched off the Klondike gold rush.
• In 1915, a mob in Cobb County, Ga., lynched Jewish businessman Leo Frank, whose death sentence for the murder of 13-year-old Mary Phagan had been commuted to life imprisonment. (Frank, who'd maintained his innocence, was pardoned by Georgia in 1986.)
• In 1942, during World War II, U.S. 8th Air Force bombers attacked Rouen, France.
• In 1943, the Allied conquest of Sicily was completed as U.S. and British forces entered Messina.
• In 1948, former State Department official Alger Hiss faced his chief accuser, Whittaker Chambers, during a closed-door meeting in New York of the House Un-American Activities Committee, and repeated his denial that he'd ever been a Communist agent.
• In 1969, 256 people were killed as Hurricane Camille slammed into the Gulf Coast.
• In 1978, the first successful trans-Atlantic balloon flight ended as Maxie Anderson, Ben Abruzzo and Larry Newman landed their Double Eagle II outside Paris.
• In 1987, Rudolf Hess, the last member of Adolf Hitler's inner circle, died at Spandau Prison at age 93, an apparent suicide.
• In 1988, Pakistani President Mohammad Zia ul-Haq and U.S. Ambassador Arnold Raphel were killed in a mysterious plane crash.

Ten years ago:

• President Clinton gave grand jury testimony via closed-circuit television from the White House concerning his relationship with Monica Lewinsky; he then delivered a TV address in which he denied previously committing perjury, admitted his relationship with Lewinsky was "wrong," and criticized Kenneth Starr's investigation.
• Russia allowed the ruble to drop in value by up to 34 percent.
• The Federal Reserve Board approved the merger of NationsBank and BankAmerica.

Five years ago:

• Federal investigators joined industry teams in the search for clues into what triggered the country's worst power blackout in the Midwest and Northeast as the Bush administration promised to get answers and address whatever problem was found.
  
• Insurgents attacked a police station in Afghanistan, killing some two dozen people.

One year ago:

• Hurricane Dean roared into the eastern Caribbean, tearing away roofs, flooding streets and causing at least three deaths on small islands as the powerful storm headed on a collision course with Jamaica and Mexico's Yucatan Peninsula.
• A dike on a river in eastern China broke, flooding three coal mines and killing 181 miners.

Today's Birthdays:

• Actress Maureen O'Hara is 88.
• Actor Robert DeNiro is 65.
• Movie director Martha Coolidge is 62.
• Rock musician Gary Talley (The Box Tops) is 61.
• Rock musician Sib Hashian is 59.
• Actor Robert Joy is 57.
• Rock singer Kevin Rowland (Dexy's Midnight Runners) is 55.
• Rock musician Colin Moulding (XTC) is 53.
• Country singer-songwriter Kevin Welch is 53.
• Singer Belinda Carlisle is 50.
• Actor Sean Penn is 48.
• Jazz musician Everette Harp is 47.
• Rock musician Gilby Clarke is 46.
• Singer Maria McKee is 44.
• Rock musician Steve Gorman (The Black Crowes) is 43.
• Rock musician Jill Cunniff is 42.
• Actor David Conrad is 41.
• Singer Donnie Wahlberg is 39.
• Rapper Posdnuos is 39.
• Tennis player Jim Courier is 38.
• Actor Bryton McClure is 22.
• Actor Brady Corbet is 20.

Thought for Today:

"Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story."
John Barth, American author.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-230

"Let's all be careful out there!"

"DEAD ZONE"

COMING SOON TO AN OCEAN NEAR YOU

Anyone out there old enough to remember when we were taught in school that, eventually, the oceans would feed the world. Famine would be eradicated. The seas of the globe were vast enough to provide for everyone. Even the Disney movie 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea tauted this concept. Then something went wrong. Turns out there are Dead Zones out there and they are growing. Areas with a lack of free oxygen to sustain life. Huge 3 dimensional deserts in the water that extend from the surface to the floor. Areas as lifeless as the face of the moon.

That press conference about "Bigfoot" yesterday in Palo Alto CA was about what we all expected. Midway sideshows moved to the internet. When I was younger, it was all about Fairies and Leprechuns and Neanderthals and, of course, the Abominal Snowman. People seem to enjoy lining up to to have SUCKER tatooed across rheir forehead. A fool and his money are soon parted.


Associated story.

Interesting review of NBC-TV's internet coverage of the Olympics.

Studies have now shown that the 8 tentacles on Octupi are actually 6 "arms" and 2 "legs". BTW - The creatures are extremely smart.

A new fad? Anonymous Nagging.

If you are going to use a designated driver, please make sure they are old enough to legally operated a motor vehicle.

Some criminals are always looking for a way to "cut out the middle man".

Hey!

Enjoy your weekend!

Okay?

"Let's all be careful out there!"

AUGUST 16TH

***

Today is Saturday, August 16, the 229th day of 2008.
There are 137 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On August 16, 1977, Elvis Presley died at his Graceland estate in Memphis, Tenn., at age 42.

On this date:

• In 1777, American forces won the Revolutionary War Battle of Bennington.
• In 1812, Detroit fell to British and Indian forces in the War of 1812.
• In 1858, a telegraphed message from Britain's Queen Victoria to President Buchanan was transmitted over the recently laid trans-Atlantic cable.
• In 1948, baseball legend Babe Ruth died in New York at age 53.
• In 1954, Sports Illustrated was first published by Time Inc.
• In 1956, Adlai E. Stevenson was nominated for president at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago.
• In 1960, Britain ceded control of the crown colony of Cyprus.
• In 1978, James Earl Ray, convicted assassin of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., told a Capitol Hill hearing he did not commit the crime, saying he'd been set up by a mysterious man called "Raoul."
• In 1987, 156 people were killed when Northwest Airlines Flight 255 crashed while trying to take off from Detroit.
• In 2000, delegates to the Democratic National Convention in Los Angeles nominated Al Gore for president.

Ten years ago:

• Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland united in uncomprehending grief over the car bomb slaughter of 29 people in Omagh a day earlier.
• A day before President Clinton was to face a criminal grand jury concerning his relationship with Monica Lewinsky, his lawyer said, "The truth is the truth, and that's how the president will testify."

Five years ago:

• The Midwest and Northeast were almost fully recovered from the worst power outage in U.S. history.
• A car driven by U.S. Rep. Bill Janklow ran a stop sign on a rural road in South Dakota and collided with motorcyclist Randy Scott, who died in the accident.
• Idi Amin, the former dictator of Uganda, died in Jiddah, Saudi Arabia; he was believed to have been about 80.

One year ago:

• Jose Padilla, a U.S. citizen held for 3 1/2 years as an enemy combatant, was convicted in Miami of helping Islamic extremists and plotting overseas attacks. (Padilla, once accused of plotting with al-Qaida to detonate a radioactive "dirty bomb," was later sentenced to 17 years and four months in prison on the unrelated terror support charges.)
• A cave-in killed three rescuers in the Crandall Canyon Mine in Utah; the search for six trapped miners was later abandoned.

Today's Birthdays:

• Actor Fess Parker is 84.
• Actress Ann Blyth is 80.
• Actor Robert Culp is 78.
• Sportscaster Frank Gifford is 78.
• Singer Eydie Gorme is 77.
• Actress Julie Newmar is 75.
• Actor John Standing is 74.
• Actor Gary Clarke is 72.
• Actress Anita Gillette is 72.
• Actress Carole Shelley is 69.
• Country singer Billy Joe Shaver is 69.
• Movie director Bruce Beresford is 68.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Robert "Squirrel" Lester (The Chi-Lites) is 66.
• Actor Bob Balaban is 63.
• Ballerina Suzanne Farrell is 63.
• Actress Lesley Ann Warren is 62.
• Rock singer-musician Joey Spampinato (NRBQ) is 58.
• Actor Reginald VelJohnson is 56.
• TV personality Kathie Lee Gifford is 55.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer J.T. Taylor is 55.
• Movie director James Cameron is 54.
• Actor Jeff Perry is 53.
• Rock musician Tim Farriss (INXS) is 51.
• Singer Madonna is 50.
• Actress Angela Bassett is 50.
• Actress Laura Innes is 49.
• Actor Timothy Hutton is 48.
• Actor Steve Carell is 45.
• Actor Donovan Leitch is 40.
• Actor Andy Milder (TV: "Weeds") is 40.
• Country singer Emily Robison (The Dixie Chicks) is 36.
• Actor George Stults is 33.
• Singer Vanessa Carlton is 28.
• Actress Agnes Bruckner is 23.
• Actor Shawn Pyfrom is 22.
• Country singer Ashton Shepherd is 22.

Thought for Today:

"If a man wants his dreams to come true, he must wake up."
Anonymous.

"Let's all be careful out there!"