DAILY CHUCKLE 8-206

"Let's all be careful out there!"

ITS CALLED...

EXTREME CATAPULTING

Video proof that Americans aren't the only crazy people in the world.


My favorite "Golden Girl" recently passed at 84. Did you know that Estelle Getty was actually the youngest member of the cast? Here is a cute video she once made:


Ever wonder why our general election is held on the Tuesday following the first Monday in November?


Antarctica Time lapse: A Year on Ice


When homeowners lose their homes in forclosure, we laugh at them and call them stupid. When banks make high-risk investments on subprime debtors and lose, we issue $300,000,000,000 to bail them out

Are you smarter than a 5th grader?


Drive-by shootings are so 20th century The new fad in mass mayhem is drive-by grenading.

"Dude, I can't talk, I'm being chased by the police,"

Another entry in the LLDE hall of shame

Thank you for visiting Hope to see you again real soon.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

FIREFLY - SERENITY (episode 01)

I have moved all my Firefly episodes to my other blog.

Just click here.

These episodes are now independent of the Hulu feed and will not continuously disappear.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 23RD

***

Today is Wednesday, July 23, the 205th day of 2008. There are 161 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On July 23, 1967, a week of deadly race-related rioting that claimed 43 lives erupted in Detroit.

On this date:

• In 1885, Ulysses S. Grant, the 18th president of the United States, died in Mount McGregor, N.Y., at age 63.
• In 1892, Emperor Haile Selassie of Ethiopia was born.
• In 1914, Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia following the killing of Archduke Franz Ferdinand by a Serb assassin; the dispute led to World War I.
• In 1945, French Marshal Henri Petain, who had headed the Vichy government during World War II, went on trial, charged with treason. (He was condemned to death, but his sentence was commuted; Petain died in prison on this date in 1951.)
• In 1948, American pioneer filmmaker D.W. Griffith died in Los Angeles at age 73.
• In 1952, Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser launched a successful coup against King Farouk I.
• In 1958, Britain's Queen Elizabeth II named the first four women to peerage in the House of Lords.
• In 1977, a jury in Washington convicted 12 Hanafi Muslims of charges stemming from the hostage siege at three buildings the previous March.
• In 1982, actor Vic Morrow and two child actors, 7-year-old Myca Dinh Le and 6-year-old Renee Chen, were killed when a helicopter crashed on top of them during filming of a Vietnam War scene for "Twilight Zone: The Movie." (Director John Landis and four associates were later acquitted of manslaughter charges.)
• In 1986, Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey in London. (The couple divorced in 1996.)

Ten years ago:

• Scientists at the University of Hawaii announced they had turned out more than 50 carbon-copy mice with a cloning technique said to be more reliable than the one used to create Dolly the sheep.

Five years ago:

• A new audiotape purported to be from toppled dictator Saddam Hussein called on Iraqis to resist the U.S. occupation.
• Massachusetts' attorney general issued a report saying clergy members and others in the Boston Archdiocese probably sexually abused more than 1,000 people over a period of six decades.
• New York City Councilman James Davis was shot to death by political rival Othniel Askew at City Hall; a police officer shot and killed Askew.

One year ago:

• In the first political debate of its kind, all eight Democratic Party contenders, appearing on CNN, fielded questions submitted by the public on the Internet video-sharing site YouTube.
• Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, in his new capacity as a Mideast envoy, opened his mission to help Palestinians build solid foundations for their future state.
• Two suspects were arrested in the slayings of a woman and her two daughters during a violent home invasion in Cheshire, Conn.
• Genial comic Drew Carey was tapped to replace legend Bob Barker on the CBS daytime game show "The Price is Right."

Today's Birthdays:

• Actress Gloria DeHaven is 83.
• Supreme Court Justice Anthony M. Kennedy is 72.
• Actor Ronny Cox is 70.
• Radio personality Don Imus is 68.
• Country singer Tony Joe White is 65.
• Rock singer David Essex is 61.
• Actor Larry Manetti is 61.
• Singer-songwriter John Hall is 60.
• Actress Belinda Montgomery is 58.
• Rock musician Blair Thornton (Bachman Turner Overdrive) is 58.
• Actor Woody Harrelson is 47.
• Rock musician Martin Gore (Depeche Mode) is 47.
• Actor Eriq Lasalle is 46.
• Rock musician Yuval Gabay is 45.
• Rock musician Slash is 43.
• Actor Philip Seymour Hoffman is 41.
• Rock musician Nick Menza is 40.
• Model-actress Stephanie Seymour is 40.
• Actress Charisma Carpenter is 38.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Sam Watters is 38.
• Country singer Alison Krauss is 37.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Dalvin DeGrate is 37.
• Rock musician Chad Gracey (Live) is 37.
• Actor-comedian Marlon Wayans is 36.
• Country singer Shannon Brown is 35.
• Actor Omar Epps is 35.
• Baseball player Nomar Garciaparra is 35.
• Actress Stephanie March is 34.
• Country musician David Pichette (Emerson Drive) is 31.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Michelle Williams is 28.
• Actor Daniel Radcliffe is 19.

Thought for Today:

"Troubles impending always seem worse than troubles surmounted, but this does not prove that they really are."
Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr., American historian.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-205

"Let's all be careful out there!"

"WALL STREET GOT DRUNK...

AND NOW ITS GOT A HANGOVER"

Gee, Mr. President. To carry your metaphor one further step. As the nation's lead "bartender" don't you know when to stop serving an obvious drunk? We all know the courts have ruled serving a person who has over imbided leaves the bartender legally liable.

Well, hello Dolly:

How could it have been a defeat? Bush had already declared "Mission Accomplished!"


McCain has put the right person in the right place of his campaign. Steve "Sgt" Schmidt is as good as the come.

Holy crap, Batman


A classic example of "Suicide by Cop".

Louise Brown, the world's first IVF ("test tube") bab, turns 30 this Friday.

Ben Franklyn is credited with "A penny saved is a penny earned". Allowing for inflation, this lady from Boston has taken that into the 21st century.

Have a great day everyone. Its "hump day". Downhill to the weekend.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 22ND

***

Today is Tuesday, July 22, the 204th day of 2008. There are 162 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:
On July 22, 1933, American aviator Wiley Post completed the first solo flight around the world as he returned to New York's Floyd Bennett Field after traveling for 7 days, 18 3/4 hours.
On this date:

• In 1587, an English colony fated to vanish under mysterious circumstances was established on Roanoke Island off North Carolina.
• In 1796, Cleveland was founded by Gen. Moses Cleaveland.
• In 1908, American etiquette expert Amy Vanderbilt was born in New York City.
• In 1934, a man identified as bank robber John Dillinger was shot to death by federal agents outside Chicago's Biograph Theater.
• In 1937, the Senate rejected President Roosevelt's proposal to add more justices to the Supreme Court.
• In 1942, the Nazis began transporting Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto to the Treblinka concentration camp.
• In 1943, American forces led by Gen. George S. Patton captured Palermo, Sicily, during World War II.
• In 1946, Jewish extremists blew up a wing of the King David Hotel in Jerusalem, killing 90 people.
• In 1975, the House of Representatives joined the Senate in voting to restore the American citizenship of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee.
• In 1983, Samantha Smith and her parents returned home to Manchester, Maine, after completing a whirlwind tour of the Soviet Union.

Ten years ago:

• The Senate Armed Services Committee rejected, on a 9-9 vote, Daryl Jones' bid to become Air Force secretary.
• President Clinton, with Republican lawmakers at his side, signed a bill designed to mold the Internal Revenue Service into a friendlier, fairer tax collector.

Five years ago:

• Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai were killed when U.S. forces stormed a villa in Mosul, Iraq.
• Months after her prisoner-of-war ordeal, Pfc. Jessica Lynch returned home to a hero's welcome in Elizabeth, W.Va.

One year ago:

• A bus carrying Polish Catholic pilgrims from a holy site in the French Alps plunged off a steep mountain road, killing 26 people.
• Padraig Harrington survived a calamitous finish in regulation and a tense putt for bogey on the final hole of a playoff to win the British Open.
• Cinematographer Laszlo Kovacs died in Beverly Hills, Calif., at age 74.

Today's Birthdays:

• Former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole, R-Kan., is 85.
• Singer Margaret Whiting is 84.
• Actor-comedian Orson Bean is 80.
• Fashion designer Oscar de la Renta is 76.
• Actress Louise Fletcher is 74.
• Movie director John Korty is 72.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Chuck Jackson is 71.
• Actor Terence Stamp is 69.
• Game show host Alex Trebek is 68.
• Singer George Clinton is 67.
• Actor-singer Bobby Sherman is 65.
• Singer Estelle Bennett (The Ronettes) is 64.
• Movie writer-director Paul Schrader is 62.
• Actor Danny Glover is 61.
• Actor-comedian-director Albert Brooks is 61.
• Rock singer Don Henley is 61.
• Movie composer Alan Menken is 59.
• Actor Willem Dafoe is 53.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Keith Sweat is 47.
• Actress Joanna Going is 45.
• Actor Rob Estes is 45.
• Folk singer Emily Saliers (Indigo Girls) is 45.
• Actor John Leguizamo is 44.
• Actor-comedian David Spade is 44.
• Actor Patrick Labyorteaux is 43.
• Rock musician Pat Badger is 41.
• Actress Irene Bedard is 41.
• Actor Rhys Ifans is 41.
• Actor Colin Ferguson is 36.
• Rock musician Daniel Jones is 35.
• Singer Rufus Wainwright is 35.
• Actress Franka Potente is 34.
• Actress A.J. Cook is 30.

Thought for Today:

"Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever."
Helen Rowland, American writer and humorist (1875-1950).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-204

"Let's all be careful out there!"

TODOS PÁNICO

ES LA JALAPEÑOS


Thats right. After gutting the tomato industry, it turns out the salmonella didn't come from those delicious red orbs. The FDA has traced the contamination to some jalapeños. Some very specific jalapeños. Of course, their mis-IDing the source initially has cost the growers a few $100 million in destroyed crops. Which makes me wonder. What political opponent of the current administration has large holdings in the vegetable growing business? Someone the administration needed to kick in the balls to provide a lesson.

The UK seems to be kind of a nice place. The people are pleasant. Except for their various levels of government that seem to want to micro-manage every aspect of a person's life. One community is seeking to effectively ban the jingles played by ice cream trucks for decades. The assinine new law only allows the ringing of the chimes for 4 seconds every three minutes. There are even more Draconian strictures that must be complied with. Something about polluting the "atmosphere" of the community. Give me a frakking break.

Or their new "permissions" that allow so called inspectors to enter any structure, commercial or residence, to be sure you aren't in violation of over 1,000 new restrictions. No wonder Blair and Bush got on so well. Neither wanted their people to have any rights (or privacy) at all.

I guess we can call this "COLD WAR ver2.0". Russia is considering stationing long range bombers in Cuba in retaliation for the missle defense system we are installing in the Czech Republic.

"Put down the remote! You're too drunk to channel surf." First it was a wheelchair. Now its a riding mower. I busted a guy for DUI while he was riding a horse. Long ago and far, far away.

Rising scrap metal prices are squeezing the brass nuts off fire hydrants. Never thought I could say that without referencing a very cold monkey.

"The Changing Newsroom: What is Being Gained and What is Being Lost in America's Daily Newspapers." Besides readship, quality and coverage? How about revenue?

The annual meeting of Santa's (helpers) from around the world began their 3-day stay on Monday in Denmark.. I guess they are exchanging their naughty & nice lists. There is no truth to the rumor that Bill Clinton tried to buy the naughty girls list. But his name is permanently engraved at the top of the boy's.

You saw the video! Now read the news! Flesh eating carp the latest rage in pedicures.

The high cost of fuel may have rendered another tradition to the Dodo bird squad. The county fair midways and the carnies who run them.

Thanks for you visit. There will be more (always) later.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

RUNNING LATE...

HERE ARE SOME VIDS:






"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 21ST

***

Today is Monday, July 21, the 203rd day of 2008. There are 163 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On July 21, 1861, the first Battle of Bull Run was fought at Manassas, Va., resulting in a Confederate victory.

On this date:

• In 1831, Leopold I was proclaimed King of the Belgians.
• In 1925, the so-called "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, Tenn., with John T. Scopes convicted of violating state law for teaching Darwin's Theory of Evolution. (The conviction was later overturned on a technicality.)
• In 1930, President Hoover signed an executive order establishing the Veterans Administration.
• In 1944, American forces landed on Guam during World War II.
• In 1949, the U.S. Senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty.
• In 1954, the Geneva Conference concluded with accords dividing Vietnam into northern and southern entities.
• In 1955, during a summit in Geneva, President Eisenhower presented his "open skies" proposal under which the U.S. and the Soviet Union would trade information on each other's military facilities and allow aerial reconnaissance.
• In 1961, Capt. Virgil "Gus" Grissom became the second American to rocket into a suborbital pattern around the Earth, flying aboard the Liberty Bell 7.
• In 1969, Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin blasted off from the moon aboard the lunar module.
• In 1980, draft registration began in the United States for 19- and 20-year-old men.

Ten years ago:

• President Clinton announced a crackdown on nursing homes that were lax about quality and on states that were doing a poor job of regulating them.
• The Pentagon said it found no evidence to support allegations in a CNN report that U.S. troops had used nerve gas during a 1970 operation in Laos designed to hunt down American defectors.
• Astronaut Alan Shepard died in Monterey, Calif., at age 74.
• Actor Robert Young died in Westlake Village, Calif., at age 91.

Five years ago:

• President Bush said he was working to persuade more nations to help in Iraq.
• Carlton Dotson Jr., the roommate of missing Baylor basketball player Patrick Dennehy, was arrested and charged with Dennehy's murder. (Dotson later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 35 years in prison.)

One year ago:

• Doctors removed five small growths from President Bush's colon after he temporarily transferred the powers of his office to Vice President Dick Cheney under the rarely invoked 25th Amendment.
• Ruediger Diedrich, one of two Germans kidnapped in southern Afghanistan on July 18, was found dead.
• David Beckham made his debut with the Los Angeles Galaxy in front of a sellout crowd of 27,000. (Beckham got into the exhibition game in the 78th minute of Chelsea's 1-0 victory.)
• "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," the final volume of the wizard series by J.K. Rowling, went on sale.

Today's Birthdays:

• Singer Kay Starr is 86.
• Movie director Norman Jewison is 82.
• Actor Paul Burke is 82.
• Former Attorney General Janet Reno is 70.
• Actress Patricia Elliott is 66.
• Actor David Downing is 65.
• Actor Edward Herrmann is 65.
• Actor Leigh Lawson is 63.
• Actor Wendell Burton is 61.
• Actor Art Hindle is 60.
• Singer Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens) is 60.
• Cartoonist Garry Trudeau is 60.
• Comedian-actor Robin Williams is 57.
• Rock singer-musician Eric Bazilian (The Hooters) is 55.
• Comedian Jon Lovitz is 51.
• Actor Lance Guest is 48.
• Actor Matt Mulhern is 48.
• Comedian Greg Behrendt is 45.
• Rock musician Koen Lieckens (K's Choice) is 42.
• Actress Racquel Darrian is 40.
• Rock singer Emerson Hart is 39.
• Country singer Paul Brandt is 36.
• Actress Ali Landry is 35.
• Actor Josh Hartnett is 30.
• Contemporary Christian singer Brandon Heath is 30.
• Reggae singer Damian Marley is 30.
• Country singer Brad Mates (Emerson Drive) is 30.
• Singer Blake Lewis ("American Idol") is 27.
• Actress Vanessa Lengies is 23.
• Actor Jamie Waylett ("Harry Potter" films) is 19.

Thought for Today:

"This is the final test of a gentleman: His respect for those who can be of no possible service to him."
William Lyon Phelps, American educator (1865-1943).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-203

"Let's all be careful out there!"

AND I THOUGHT...

HE WAS GAY

I never thought he was funny, either.
Andy Dick was arrested last week for drug possession and sexual assault on a 17 year old girl. This was not his first (nor probably his last) run-in with the law. Seems that whereever he goes he makes himself persona non gratia.

While no laws have been broken, the St. Louis (MO) Police Dept. has a major PR problem to deal with. And their COP has some other issues to be dealt with.

Some street punk rapper named "Lil Scrappy" (no, I never heard of him either) got stabbed over the weekend. He was then arrested by police while his assailant was released.

It might be that over consumption of soy products could cause... Something. What were we talking about?

Remember that "gas tax holiday" Clinton and McCain touted during the primaries? The one quietly abandoned when it turned out that the loss of $9 billion would cause job losses just before the election. Well, to correct that problem, Congress is quietly talking about raising it instead. Isn't that sweet of them?

"Hello. Fire Department?" My house is burning. How much do you charge to come over and put it out? That much, huh? Look, let me call you back. I need to shop around."

Its not easy being a vet trying to go back to school and adapt to civilian life.

You own a casino. The economy has dwindled profits. How do you adjust? Change the odds on the slots, of course.

Five ways reality caught up with Sci-Fi this century.

I know, its Monday. Try and cope as best you can.. Thanks for the company.

"Let's all be careful out there!"