Paradise Driver: 16 YEARS OLD TODAY

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

16 YEARS OLD TODAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZACHARY

I love you Zak.

The above picture was taken a few years back, but it is the latest one in my files.

*** *** ***

Well, today went better than I could hope for in my wildest dreams. My first stop was at the Court House to obtain my driving abstract. Clear, as usual. In and out of there in just about 10 minutes. Thats fast. Next was a stop at FedEx-Kinko's to get the two passport photos I would need for my Taxi Driver's Permit (hack license). I had allotted 45 minutes for this in my schedule and I was out of there in 15 minutes. A world record!! Thirsty, so I popped into 7-11 for a bottle of water. No one else in line, back out in 3 minutes. Finally, the dreaded Department Of Motor Vehicles. Pull into the parking lot and it was virtually empty. Walked into the building and there was no waiting line. Obtained the needed forms and sat down to wait for my number to be called. There were only 7 people in the waiting area. The fourth number paged was me. I had only been sitting 10 minutes. And 10 minutes after that I was done. It took more time doing the driving than waiting. That has never happened before. Usually the entire process takes about 4 hours. Now if that kind of luck will just hold throughout the rest of the week I would be a really happy camper.

Judy and I went to Lulu's and had their absolutely overwhelming barbeque ribs. I "pigged out" and even after washing my face a couple of times since dinner, I can still taste traces of the BBQ sauce in my mustache. mmmmmmm. I brought a half a rack home for the inevitable late night munchies. Love those "nukers" (microwaves). Oh, "midnight" to me is about 10am. Judy has been going through a lot of stress, since the holidays, at work. She needed to just "off-load" and last night she had my full attention. I think it helped her. Thats one nice thing about driving a cab. When someone pisses me off I just kick'em out of the cab. End of stress factor, with the added benefit of satisfaction.

A new week starts tonight. It would be nice if I could start seeing figures like I did at this time last year.

Aloha, everyone, and Mahalo for dropping by. More talk story tomorrow.

*** *** ***

SOME HUMOR:

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We can no longer tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Walmart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.. and watched what happened.
5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.
11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Missi on Impossible" theme.
12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last, but not least ..
15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"