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Sunday, September 24, 2006



A very bountiful shift. The first hour was dead. I slowly inched my way up the Wailea queue. Finally received my first call at 8:00pm. Two people down at the Maui Prince who needed to go to the Pride of Aloha, in Kahului harbor. A $60+ run is a great way to finally get started. Returned to town and pulled a couple of decent trips in Kihei and Wailea. Then was dispatched to The Shops At Wailea, where I picked up a foursome going to Lahaina, on the westside. Had a bit of difficulty in picking them up. One came to the pickup point at The Shops that I had been dispatched to. Probably had one or two glasses of wine beyond her normal limit. Intoxocated but genial. Two more showed up, about 10 minutes later and the fourth called to say he was at the upper end of The Shops. Drove to that location and no one was there. One of the ladies called him and asked exactlly where he was standing. He had wandered to the lower northend of The Shops. Boogied to that spot and there he was, looking like some poor lost child. Took a couple of minutes to explain to him how the electric seat adjustment worked, alcohol does make a person a might slow on the learning curve, and then we were off to Lahaina.

Just as we reached Ma'alaea, one of the ladies needed to pull over. One lady puked, the other stood with her and the two guys took a piss next to the cab. Everybody back into the cab and we were rolling again.

I keep the temperature in the cab at 70of (21.1oc). This was too warm for them and so I dropped it down to 65of (18.3oc). Per their request I tuned the radio to 104.7 fm (the golden oldies station), pumped up the volume and silently laughed as I listened to them sing along, very loudly and usually very, very off-key.

The original plan had been to drop part of the group at a residence in Lahaina and take the rest to their car, parked at the Lahaina Cannery Mall. By the time we had reached the home, everybody knew that they were too drunk to drive and the decision was made to stay at the house and take a cab to their car tomorrow. I was really happy to hear that. Every one of them was at least 0.15% BA.

All the other drivers working were having a good night also. Three had runs from OGG to Ka'anapali and the fifth one took a trip upcountry to Kula.

My solo hours generated about $40 additional on the meter.


That was an editted transcription of an actual call that night. There were actually 7 calls made by the lady in a 15 minute period. She was very drunk and I gave you folks the Readers Digest version. I get about 5 calls like this on Fridays, my dispatch night, and I treat each one the same way. If people can't take the time to know where they are at and waste my time on the phone, I hang up. Some of these lame brains think that we have the police enhanced 9-1-1 emergency phone syatem that automatically displays the address and phone number of the caller. We don't. All the calls are coming in on one lil' ol' cellphone.

I firmly believe that a person's IQ drops by 10 points for every 0.01% increase in their blood alcohol level. Lets face it, most people don't have that many IQ points to start with.


Rainbow Over Mau'i
Sailing Under A Rainbow
Rainbow Pastures

"Let's all be careful out there!"

1 comment:

Peggy said...

I'm SO glad you managed a good streak during the slow season. It makes your blog entries better, especially when you've got drunken tourists.

You're really tough on stupid people! I'm surprised she kept calling you back! I didn't realize that she was drunk. It goes a long way to explain the level of stupidity on her part.

(Note to self: Know where I am if ordering a cab after a few too many. Don't want to appear even more thick than I already am.)

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