"ROYAL CAB"The following occurred between 1:24a and 1:36a, this morning. While I was "under fare".
man (making a failing attempt to not sound drunk): "I need a cab to take me from here to Kahului."
ME: "Where are you at, sir?"
drunk: "I told you. I am here."
PD: "Where is 'here', sir?"
drunk: "I told you already. I want a cab to take me to Kahului."
PD: "Yes, sir. You want a cab to take you to Kahului. Where should I send it."
drunk: "Kihei."
PD: "Where in Kihei?"
drunk: "Here."
[click]
1 minute later...
PD: "Blah, blah, blah..."
drunk: "I need a cab to take me to Kahului."
PD: "Yes, sir. Where are you at?"
drunk: "Kihei."
PD: "Oh, good. I have a cab in Kihei right this minute. Go outside and hop in."
drunk: "Okay."
[click]
5 minutes later....
drunk: "You said the cab was outside. I can't find it."
PD: "I am sorry, sir. Where exactly in Kihei are you?"
drunk: "Here."
PD: "Sir. Where do you want to be picked up from?"
drunk: "The bar."
PD: "Which bar, sir?"
drunk: "The one I am in."
PD: "And the name of that bar is...?"
drunk: "I don't know."
[click]
1 minute later....
drunk: "I need a cab to take me to Kahului."
PD: "Friend. we've been through this multiple times. I know that you are extremely ethanol challenged at the moment but I can't assist you if you fail to cooperate. I need to know the name of the bar that you are at. Without that vital data set, I have no idea of where to send the cab, to pick you up and take you to Kahului. Work with me, okay. What is the name of the bar that you are in?"
drunk: "It the sports bar."
PD: "There are three sports bars in Kihei, sir."
drunk: "Huh? There are? I'm gonna have to check out those others. Where are they?"
PD: "Lets table your future plans for the moment. In order to get you home, I need to know the name of the bar you are at, right now."
drunk: "Okay."
PD: "And the name is....?"
drunk: "I don't know."
[click]
3 minutes later....
"I need a cab to take me......"
PD: "Where are you at?"
drunk: "Lulu's."
PD: "Finally! Sir, we are unable to access the parking lot at Lulu's. We'll pick you up in front of Bad Ass Coffee."
drunk: "Where the fuck is that?"
PD: "Sir. Walk downstairs from Lulu's. No, better yet, take the elevator downstairs from Lulu's. We don't want you to fall and break your neck (like hell I don't). Turn towards the street when you get to the parking lot. Wait on the curb and I will have a cab there for you in about 5 minutes."
drunk: "Huh?"
PD: "What part of 'walk to the street' didn't you understand, sir?"
drunk: "You'll pick me up on the street?"
PD: "Yes, sir."
drunk: "Street. Okay. I want to go to Kahului."
PD: "I know......uh, sir. I know."
[click]
5 minutes later, Hardin
(#25) made the pickup. I told him to get a deposit up front before accepting the fare.
By this time, the 30-ish couple, who were my fare, were in stitches. Tears running down their cheeks. Since I use a blue-tooth on the company phone, they were able to catch bits and pieces of the drunk's words and all my Q&As.
"How do you stay so placid?" The male asked.
"I only do when I have passengers." I replied.
"That was the best 'free' comedy routine I have ever listened to." The lady laughed. "Tip him good."
And they did.
***
It was a full-moon last night. I didn't even have to look up at it's radiant beauty, in our clear tropical starfield, to know that.
It was as busy as I anticipated. Logged in at 6:59p and was on my way to
OGG at 7:01p. Took control of the phone at 7:07p. No reservations for the night and no available cabs. But the Fates were sticking their tongues in my ear and biting my earlobes. Doing what ever was needed to make the night a fun one. 7 cabs on the road but only 6 "on stage". "Maui Jim"
(#17) had taken a fare to
Mama's Fish House, over in Pa'ia, and stayed to cover their return. That is sensible, since it is a 45 minute trip, each way, and he would only have about 20 minutes in Kihei before he needed to go back. A waste of gas to do that. About 9:30p, Lee
(#09) went "10-2"
(end of shift). That left me with my five cards
(cabs) for this hand of "draw" poker.
That bone crunching/popping sound you hear is my arm joints protesting while I try to pat myself on the back for the excellent job I did last night. I had everything working like a well oiled gear. The other drivers sensed it too. Everybody played like a professional sports team. I was proud of them. None of the night crew got off until 2:30a. We were
THAT busy. We only had 3 or 4 "10-13"s (no load/no show) the entire shift. Everybody made good
$$s. The tips were top notch also. I actually averaged about 55% of the meter in tips.
1 OGG / 8 bar rush / 2 bar close / 5 dog watch
When Wally
(#05) checked in, I was still moving. Thus he started his shift with 2 decent fares before we could meet up and pass over the phone. Just as I was turning
ONE-NINE over to "Murph", Wally announced that he had a fare to
MMMC from Wailea. He has a great start for the day. Passed on a large number of reservations. Day shift is going to be slammed.
16 fares / 140 miles / third quarted of $200 bracket
***
Enjoy the weekend.
Mahalo
Aloha
THE PICTURE GALLERYLuau
Rainbow Over Our Power Plant
Interesting
Silversword
***
92242
"Let's all be careful out there!"
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