FOX NEWS

Wouldn't it be more truthful to call it

FAUX NEWS

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

Stones World Tour

Well, it kicks off at Fenway Park on August 21st.

But, really, aren't these 60+ers getting a little long in the tooth?

Maybe after 40+ years they'll finally get some satisfaction and retire before they become an embarrasment to their own image.

2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION
Name: ___________________
Stage Name:__________________
Agent: ___________________
Attorney:____________! ________
Therapist's Name: _________________

Sex:
[ ] Male
[ ] Female*
[ ] Formerly Male
[ ] Formerly Female
[ ] Both
*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No

Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:______________________________________________(Use extra pages, if necessary)

Please check hair color:
Females:
[ ] Blonde
[ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers:
[ ] Red
[ ] Orange
[ ] Green
[ ] Purple
[ ] Blue
[ ]Skinhead
[ ]Other ___________

Please check activities you perform while driving:
(Check all that apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Lifting weights
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[ ] Snorting cocaine
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / reloading

Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
[ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___
[ ] b) Be shot at ___

If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
[ ] a) Call the police to report the crime.
[ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed chase.
[ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for your 911 call not going through.
[ ] d) Call your therapist.

In the event of an earthquake, you should:
[ ] a) Stop your car.
[ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
[ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
[ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

In the instance of rain, you should:
[ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
[ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
[ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per week:________

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
[ ] a) Prozac
[ ] b) Zovirax
[ ] c) Lithium
[ ] d) Zanax
[ ] e) Valium
[ ] f) Medical pot
[ ] g) Zoloft
[ ] h) All of the above
[ ] i) None of the above**
If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
[ ] a) Less than 1 hour*
[ ] b) 1 hour
[ ] c) 2 hours
[ ] d) 3 hours
[ ] e) 4 hours or more
* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.

When stopped by police, you should:
[ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.
[ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway.
[ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.

When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it means:
[ ] a) Her turn-signals are broken.
[ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
[ ] c) She is drying her nails.

Which part of your car will wear out first?
[ ] a) The wiper blades
[ ] b) The seat belts
[ ] c) The horn

Automatic door locks are good for:
[ ] a) Security
[ ] b) Convenience
[ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.

The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
[ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads
[ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
[ ] c) Revenge
__________________

THOUGHTS:

CHILD ABUSERS:
When convicted, lock them in a room with the victim's family. Come back in 24 hours and unlock the door. Matter solved.

HURRICANES:
People seem to react with shock and amazement when a hurricane strikes. Why?

ISLAMIC WAR:
Take all the pretty wrapping off and we have two major issues. The industrialized nations want to control oil. The Islams see this as a religious war. Lets just solve the problem quickly. Nuke every major Islam city and shrine. Then walk away. No aid. No troops for order. Nothing. Let them rot.

PHILIPINES:
Have they ever had a non-corrupt gov't? Even Corizon Aquino had tinged hemlines.

POLITICIANS:
Is there one who hasn't succumbed to the "dark force"?

DUMB SPORTS CLICHES:
After game interviews always have the winning team coach explaining how the other team was good, etc. Wouldn't you like to see one just say - "Yeah, we kicked the shit out of their wimp asses."

TSA:
I take flight crews to the airport often. One pilot, who is a regular customer, is a deputy air marshall and is authorized to carry a 9mm Glock on board. All flight crews must go through the same entrance screening at security as passengers. They took away his nail file.
You figure out the logic, good luck.

HOMELAND SECURITY:
A man enters the US from Canada at a crossing somewhere in New England. He is carrying an axe, a sword, brass knuckles, and handcuffs all covered in what appears to be blood and flesh. Our elite border security's response? "Welcome home citizen. Have a nice day." EXCUSE ME??

PRICE OF OIL:
Anybody want to bet that it won't be above $100 per barrel this time next year?

"RIGHT WING" RADIO TALK SHOWS:
Are there any other kind? Hard to find any voice out there that even approaches the center line, let alone crosses over to the left. And even with this predominance they continue to bash "main stream media". Excuse me guys, but you have become the "main stream media."

FOX NEWS - "FAIR AND BALANCED"
Yeah. Right.

God, its been a long time since I logged on here.



Must think of something new to do with it.

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Today is Wednesday, June 30th.

The 182nd day of 2004.

There are 184 days left in the year.



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Today's Highlight in History:



On June 30, 1963, Pope Paul VI was crowned the 262nd head of the Roman Catholic Church.



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On this date:



In 1834, A huge tract of land was set aside exclusively for Indians and it was officially named "Indian Territory." That didn't last. Today we call it Oklahoma.



In 1841, The Erie Railroad rolled out its first passenger train.



In 1859, French acrobat Blondin (born Jean Francois Gravelet) crossed Niagara Falls on a tightrope as 5,000 spectators watched.



In 1870, Ada H. Kepley of Effingham, Illinois became America's first female law school graduate from the Union College of Law in Chicago.



In 1894, London's Tower Bridge across the River Thames was officially opened.



In 1896, The first electric stove is patented by W. S. Hadaway in New York City.



In 1906, The Pure Food and Drug Act and the Meat Inspection Act became law.



In 1908, In the Tunguska section of Central Siberia, Russia, possibly the most powerful, natural explosion in recorded history occurred at 7:17 a.m. when a spectacular, unexplained blast devastated a forested area some 70 miles in diameter; caused seismic shock; spawned a firestorm followed by black rain; and created a brilliant illumination that reportedly was seen for hundreds of miles. Yet, no crater was formed and only the tops of the trees were burned at the central point of the explosion. Even today, scientists are unsure of what caused the explosion; theories have ranged from an extraterrestrial visitor or comet to an antimatter asteroid, a black hole, or atomic explosion.



In 1917, Actress Susan Hayward (Edythe Marriner) was born in Brooklyn NY. She died March 14, 1975 at age 57.



In 1917, Drummer/Bandleader Bernard "Buddy" Rich was born. He died April 2, 1987 at age 69.



In 1921, President Warren G. Harding appointed former President William Howard Taft as Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court.



In 1934, In the "night of the long knives," Adolf Hitler purges the National Socialist, or Nazi, party of its paramilitary stormtrooper wing, killing hundreds of the party's most dedicated followers.



In 1936, The novel "Gone with the Wind" by Margaret Mitchell was published in New York.



In 1939, Frank Sinatra made his first appearance with Harry James’ band.



In 1948, The Transistor was invented by three Bell Laboratory scientists in Murray Hill, NJ.



In 1952, "The Guiding Light," a popular radio program, made its T.V. debut on CBS.



In 1953, The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet assembly line in Flint MI. That early 'Vette sold for $3,250.



In 1956, A United DC-7 and a TWA jet collide over Grand Canyon killing 128



In 1957, The American occupation headquarters in Japan was dissolved.



In 1958, The U.S. Congress passed a law authorizing the admission of Alaska as the 49th state in the Union.



In 1960, The Katanga province seceded from Congo (upon Congo's independence from Belgium).



In 1962, Los Angeles Dodger Sandy Koufax pitched his first no-hitter in a game with the New York Mets.



In 1964, The last of U.N. troops left Congo after a four-year effort to bring stability to the country.



In 1971, A Soviet space mission ended in tragedy when three cosmonauts aboard Soyuz Eleven were found dead inside their spacecraft after it had returned to Earth.



In 1971, The 26th Amendment to the Constitution, lowering the minimum voting age to 18, was ratified as Ohio became the 38th state to approve it.



In 1971, The Supreme Court overrides government attempts to stop the publishing of the Pentagon Papers.



In 1984, John Turner was sworn in as Canada's 17th prime minister, succeeding Pierre Elliott Trudeau.



In 1985, 39 American hostages from a hijacked TWA jetliner were freed in Beirut after being held 17 days.



In 1985, Yul Brynner left his role as the King of Siam after 4,600 performances in "The King and I."



In 1990, Santa Barbara and Los Angelas County, CA are declared federal disaster areas as fires destroy more than 500 homes.



In 1998, Officials confirmed that the previously unidentified remains of a Vietnam War serviceman buried in the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National Cemetery were those of Air Force pilot Lt. Michael J. Blassie of St. Louis MO.





Ten years ago (1994):



The U.S. Figure Skating Association stripped Tonya Harding of the 1994 national championship and banned her from the organization for life for an attack on rival Nancy Kerrigan.



The Supreme Court ruled that judges can bar even peaceful demonstrators from getting too close to abortion clinics.



Five years ago (1999):



The Federal Reserve raised interest rates for the first time in two years, boosting the target for the funds rate a 1/4 point to 5 percent.



On the day the independent counsel law expired, Kenneth Starr wrapped up the Whitewater phase of his investigation as presidential friend Webster Hubbell pleaded guilty to a felony and a misdemeanor.



One year ago (2003):



Israeli and Palestinian commanders shook hands as bulldozers dismantled checkpoints and Palestinian traffic flowed freely in the Gaza Strip.



American troops detained the U.S.-appointed mayor of Najaf, Iraq, accusing him of kidnapping and corruption.



Comedian Buddy Hackett (Leonard Hacker) died in Malibu CA at age 79. He was born in Brooklyn NY on August 31, 1924.





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Today's Birthdays:



Singer Lena Horne is 87.



Actor Tony Musante is 68.



Actress Nancy Dussault is 68.



Singer Glenn Shorrock is 60.



Jazz musician Stanley Clarke is 53.



Rock musician Hal Lindes (Dire Straits) is 51.



Actor-comedian David Alan Grier is 49.



Actor Vincent D'Onofrio is 45.



Actor Rupert Graves is 41.



Boxer Mike Tyson is 38.



Rock musician Tom Drummond (Better Than Ezra) is 35.



Actor Brian Bloom is 34.



Actor Brian Vincent is 34.



Actress Monica Potter is 33.



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Thought for Today:

"Many a man thinks he is patient when, in reality, he is indifferent." -

- B.C. Forbes, Scottish journalist (1880-1954).

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Today is Tuesday, June 29th.

The 181st day of 2004.

There are 185 days left in the year.



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Today's Highlight in History:



On June 29, 1776, the Virginia state constitution was adopted, and Patrick Henry made governor.



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On this date:



In 1613, The original Globe Theatre in London burns down accidentally when a cannon discharged during a performance of William Shakespeare's Henry VIII sets fire to the building's thatched roof.



In 1767, The British Parliament approved the Townshend Revenue Acts, which imposed import duties on certain goods shipped to America. Colonists bitterly protested the Acts, which were repealed in 1770.



In 1848, High Bridge, over the Harlem River, connecting Manhattan with the Bronx, was completed and opened



In 1853, The U.S. Senate ratified the $10 million Gadsden Purchase from Mexico, adding more than 29,000 square miles to the territories of Arizona and New Mexico and completing the modern geographical boundaries of the contiguous 48 states.



In 1891, The Colorado River burst from its banks and sent a branch into the Salton Desert of California.



In 1927, The first flight from the West Coast arrives in Hawaii.



In 1936, The Empire State Building television transmitter was used to demonstrate high definition television (343 lines) to RCA's Licensees.



In 1941, Polish statesman, pianist and composer Ignace Jan Paderewski died in New York at age 80.



In 1946, British authorities arrested more than 2,700 Jews in Palestine in an attempt to stamp out alleged terrorism



In 1949, The government of South Africa enacted a ban against racially-mixed marriages.



In 1949, The last of the US troops in Korea during WWII departed.



In 1950, President Harry S. Truman authorized a sea blockade of Korea.



In 1954, The Atomic Energy Commission voted against reinstating Dr. J. Robert Oppenheimer's access to classified information.



In 1956, The U.S. Interstate Highway System was born as the Federal Highway Act authorized the construction of 42,500 miles of freeway from coast to coast.



In 1956, Elvis Presley appeared on Steve Allen's TV show. He sang the song "Hound Dog" to an actual basset hound.



In 1964, The Civil Rights Act of 1964 passed after 83-day filibuster in the Senate



In 1966, The United States bombed fuel storage facilities near the North Vietnamese cities of Hanoi and Haiphong.



In 1967, Jerusalem was re-unified as Israel removed barricades separating the Old City from the Israeli sector.



In 1970, The United States ended a two-month military offensive into Cambodia.



In 1971, The city of Memphis TN honored Elvis Presley by naming a local stretch of highway for him; Elvis Presley Boulevard runs past Presley's estate, Graceland.



In 1972, The Supreme Court ruled the death penalty, as it was being meted out, could constitute "cruel and unusual punishment." (The ruling prompted states to revise their capital punishment laws.)



In 1988, The Supreme Court upheld, 7-1, the independent counsel law.



In 1992, A divided Supreme Court ruled that women have a constitutional right to abortion, but the justices also weakened the right as defined by the Roe versus Wade decision.



In 1995, 501 people were killed when a department store in Seoul, South Korea collapsed. 900 others were injured.



In 2000, In Santa Rosa, CA, the official groundbreaking ceremony took place for the Charles M. Schulz Museum.



Ten years ago (1994):



In a British T.V. documentary, Prince Charles said he'd been faithful in his marriage to Princess Diana "until it became irretrievably broken down."



Japan's parliament chose Tomiichi Murayama to be the new prime minister, succeeding Tsutoma Hata.



Five years ago (1999):



Urging the biggest expansion in Medicare's history, President Clinton proposed that the government help older Americans pay for prescription drugs.



Ten thousand demonstrators rallied in central Serbia, demanding the resignation of President Slobodan Milosevic.



Abdullah Ocalan, leader of Turkey's rebel Kurds, was convicted of treason and sentenced to death. (The sentence was later commuted to life in prison.)



One year ago (2003):



Thirteen people were killed when a third-floor porch collapsed during a party in Chicago.



Actress Katharine Hepburn, one of the last stars from Hollywood's Golden Age, died in Old Saybrook, Conn., at age 96. She was born in Hartford CT on May 12, 1907.



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Today's Birthdays:



Actress Ruth Warrick is 89.



Movie producer Robert Evans is 74.



Songwriter L. Russell Brown is 64.



Actor Gary Busey is 60.



Comedian Richard Lewis is 57.



Actor Fred Grandy is 56.



Rock musician Ian Paice (Deep Purple) is 56.



Singer Don Dokken (Dokken) is 51.



Rock singer Colin Hay (Men At Work) is 51.



Actress Maria Conchita Alonso is 47.



Singer Evelyn "Champagne" King is 44.



Actress Sharon Lawrence is 43.



Actress Amanda Donohoe is 42.



Rhythm and blues singer Stedman Pearson (Five Star) is 40.



Musician Dale Baker is 38.



Rap D-J Shadow is 32.



Country musician Todd Sansom (Marshall Dyllon) is 26.



Singer Nicole Scherzinger (Eden's Crush) is 26.



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Thought for Today:

"Sin ... has been made not only ugly but passe. People are no longer sinful, they are only immature or under privileged or frightened or, more particularly, sick." -

- Phyllis McGinley, American poet (1905-1978 ).

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Today is Monday, June 28th.

The 180th day of 2004.

There are 186 days left in the year.



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Today's Highlight in History:



On June 28, 1914, Austrian Archduke Francis Ferdinand and his wife, Sofia, were assassinated in Sarajevo by a Serb nationalist -- the event which triggered World War I.



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On this date:



In 1778, Molly Pitcher (Mary Ludwig Hays) carried water to American soldiers at the Revolutionary War Battle of Monmouth, N.J.



In 1820, The tomato is proved to be non-poisonous.



In 1836, The fourth president of the United States, James Madison, died in Montpelier VA at age 85. He was born in Port Conway VA on March 16, 1751.



In 1838, Britain's Queen Victoria was crowned in Westminster Abbey.



In 1894, President Grover Cleveland signed an act of Congress, making Labor Day a federal holiday in the U.S.; the first Monday of September was set aside to salute the working men and women across the country.



In 1902, Playwright/Composer Richard Rodgers was born in New York NY. He died December 30, 1979 at age 77.



In 1904, Blind-deaf student Helen Keller graduated with honors from Radcliffe College.



In 1911, Samuel J. Battle became the first African-American policeman in New York City.



In 1918, The first inter-island flight between the Hawaiian Islands occurred.



In 1919, Future President Harry S Truman marries Elizabeth Virginia Wallace in Independence MO.



In 1919, The Treaty of Versailles was signed in France, ending World War I.



In 1935, President Franklyn D. Roosevelt ordered a federal gold vault to be built at Fort Knox, Kentucky.



In 1944, The Republican national convention in Chicago nominated New York Gov. Thomas E. Dewey for president and Ohio Gov. John W. Bricker for vice president.



In 1946, Actress/Comedienne Gilda Radner was born in Detroit MI. She died May 20, 1989 at age 42.



In 1950, North Korean forces captured Seoul, South Korea.



In 1951, A T.V. version of the radio program "Amos 'N' Andy" premiered on CBS. (While criticized for racial stereotyping, it was the first network T.V. series to feature an all-black cast.)



In 1956, The first atomic reactor built for private research began operations in Chicago, Ill.



In 1965, The first US ground combat forces in Vietnam are authorized by President Lyndon B. Johnson



In 1967, Israel formally declared Jerusalem reunified under its sovereignty following its capture of the Arab sector in the June 1967 "6-Day War".



In 1968, Daniel Ellsberg is indicted for leaking the Pentagon Papers



In 1971, The Supreme Court overturns the draft evasion conviction of Muhammad Ali



In 1971, The Supreme Court declared that state underwriting of nonreligious instruction in parochial schools was unconstitutional.



In 1976, The U.S. Air Force Academy and the Coast Guard Academy went coed at the same time.



In 1977, The Supreme Court allows Federal control of Nixon tapes/papers



In 1978, The Supreme Court ordered the University of California at Davis Medical School to admit Allan Bakke, a white man who'd argued he was a victim of reverse racial discrimination.



In 1983, A 100-foot section of bridge along Interstate 95 in Greenwich CT, collapsed, killing three people.



In 1991, Two people were killed when an earthquake of magnitude 6 shook Southern California.



In 1992, Southern California was rocked by a pair of earthquakes, that killed one person and injured 402. At 4:57A.M. (PDT), a quake hit, which was centered in Landers CA. Magnitude 7.4. One killed. That same day at 8:05P.M.(PDT), another quake on another faultline occurred, and was centered in Big Bear CA. Magnitude: 6.2. No one killed in that one.



In 1996, The Citadel voted to admit women, ending a 153-year-old men-only policy at the South Carolina military school.



In 1998, Poland, suffering from a shortage of funds, is allowed to lease U.S. aircraft to bring its military force up to NATO standards.



In 2000, Six-year-old Elián González returned to Cuba from the U.S. with his father. The child had been the center of an international custody dispute.



In 2001, A unanimous federal appeals court reversed the court-ordered breakup of Microsoft, but ruled that the software giant had violated antitrust laws, and appointed another judge to determine a new punishment.



In 2001, Slobodan Milosevic was taken into custody and was handed over to the U.N. war crimes tribunal in The Hague, Netherlands. The indictment charged Milosevic and four other senior officials, with crimes against humanity and violations of the laws and customs of war in Kosovo.



In 2002, WorldCom Inc. began laying off 17,000 employees worldwide after disclosing accounting irregularities that later forced it into bankruptcy protection.



In 2002, Xerox Corporation announced it had improperly reported $1.9 billion in revenue over the previous five years and would restate those financial results.



Ten years ago (1994):



North and South Korea set July 25-27 as the dates for a historic summit between the leaders of both countries (the summit was derailed by the death of North Korean President Kim Il Sung the following month.)



President Clinton became the first chief executive in U.S. history to set up a personal legal defense fund and ask Americans to contribute to it.



Five years ago (1999):



Announcing even bigger projected budget surpluses, President Clinton said the government could drastically reduce the national debt while still buttressing Social Security and Medicare.



One year ago (2003):



After days of intense searching by ground and air, U.S. forces found the bodies of two soldiers missing north of Baghdad, as the toll of American dead since the start of war topped the grim milestone of 200.



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Today's Birthdays:



Comedian-movie director Mel Brooks is 78.



Actor Noriyuki "Pat" Morita is 72.



Senator Carl Levin, D-Mich., is 70.



Former White House chief of staff Leon Panetta is 66.



Rock musician Dave Knights (Procul Harum) is 59.



Actor Bruce Davison is 58.



Actress Kathy Bates is 56.



Actress Sonia Braga is 54.



Actress Alice Krige is 50.



Football Hall of Fame electee John Elway is 44.



Record company chief executive Tony Mercedes is 42.



Actress Jessica Hecht is 39.



Rock musician Saul Davies (James) is 39.



Actress Mary Stuart Masterson is 38.



Actor John Cusack is 38.



Actor Gil Bellows is 37.



Actress-singer Danielle Brisebois is 35.



Jazz musician Jimmy Sommers is 35.



Actor Alessandro Nivola is 32.



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Thought for Today:

"The secret of a man who is universally interesting is that he is universally interested." -

- William Dean Howells, American author (1837-1920).

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Today is Sunday, June 27th.

The 179th day of 2004.

There are 187 days left in the year.



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Today's Highlight in History:



On June 27, 1950, President Truman ordered the Air Force and Navy into the Korean conflict following a call from the U.N. Security Council for member nations to help South Korea repel an invasion from the North.



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On this date:



In 1652, New Amsterdam (now N.Y.C.) imposes the first speed limit in the U.S., specifying that it is illegal for traffic within the city limits to proceed at a gallop.



In 1776, Thomas Hickey, one of George Washington's guards, went into the history books for all the wrong reasons. He was convicted of plotting to deliver George Washington to the British and became the first person to be executed by the army of the U.S.



In 1787, In Lausanne, Switzerland, Edward Gibbon completes the sixth and final volume of his Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, one of the great works of history in the English language.



In 1844, Mormon leader Joseph Smith and his brother, Hyrum, were killed by a mob in Carthage, Ill.



In 1847, New York and Boston were linked by telegraph wires.



In 1880, Author/Educator Helen Adams Keller was born in Tuscumbia AL. Blind and deaf from the age of 19 months, her early life is best remembered from the movie "The Miracle Worker". She died in Westport CT on June 1, 1968 at age 87.



In 1893, The New York stock market crashed. By the end of the year 600 banks and 74 railroads had gone out of business.



In 1927, Actor/Author Robert "Bob" Keeshan was born in Lynbrook NY. The original "Clarabell the Clown" on the "Howdy Doody Show" on NBC-TV (1947-1952), he was most famous at "Captain Kangaroo" on the CBS-TV show of the same name from 1955 to 1985. He died January 23, 2004 at age 76.



In 1942, The FBI announced the capture of eight Nazi saboteurs who had been put ashore from a submarine on New York's Long Island.



In 1950, The US sends 35 military advisers to South Vietnam



In 1951, "Amos ’n’ Andy" moved to CBS-TV from CBS radio.



In 1954, The world's first atomic power station begins producing electricity in Obninsk, U.S.S.R, near Moscow.



In 1955, The nation's first automobile seat belt legislation is enacted in Illinois.



In 1957, More than 500 people were killed when Hurricane Audrey slammed through coastal Louisiana and Texas.



In 1959, The play, "West Side Story," with music by Leonard Bernstein, closed after 734 performances on Broadway.



In 1964, Jan & Dean's "Little Old Lady From Pasadena" was released.



In 1969, Patrons at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York's Greenwich Village, clashed with police in an incident considered the birth of the gay rights movement.



In 1973, Former White House counsel John W. Dean told the Senate Watergate Committee about an "enemies list" kept by the Nixon White House.



In 1976, Palestinian extremists hijacked an Air France plane in Greece with 246 passengers and 12 crew. They eventually took it to Entebbe, Uganda, where Israeli commandos rescued over 100 hostages from a terminal building on July 4.



In 1977, The Supreme Court struck down state laws and bar association rules that had prohibited lawyers from advertising their fees for routine services.



In 1980, President Carter signed legislation reviving draft registration.



In 1984, The Supreme Court ended the National Collegiate Athletic Association's monopoly on controlling college football telecasts, ruling such control violated antitrust law.



In 1985, The legendary Route 66, which originally stretched from Chicago to Santa Monica, Calif., passed into history as officials decertified the road.



In 1986, The World Court ruled that the U.S. had broken international law by aiding Nicaraguan rebels.



In 1987, The Rev. Jerry Falwell denied that he had "hoodwinked" Jim Bakker into giving up control of the PTL ministry.



In 1995, Actor Hugh Grant was arrested in Los Angeles for engaging in "lewd behavior" with a prostitute in a rented BMW.



In 1997, The Supreme Court threw out a key part of the Brady gun-control law, saying the federal government could not make local police decide whether people are fit to buy handguns. However, the court left intact the five-day waiting period for gun purchases.



In 1998, An English woman was impregnated with her dead husband's sperm after two-year legal battle over her right to the sperm.



In 1998, In a live joint news conference in China U.S. President Clinton and President Jiang Zemin offered an uncensored airing of differences on human rights, freedom, trade and Tibet.



In 2002, In the U.S., the Securities and Exchange Commission required companies with annual sales of more than $1.2 billion to submit sworn statements backing up the accuracy of their financial reports.



Ten years ago (1994):



U.S. Coast Guard cutters intercepted 1,330 Haitian boat people on the high seas in one of the busiest single days since refugees began leaving Haiti following a 1991 military coup.



President Clinton replaced White House chief of staff Mack McLarty with budget director Leon Panetta.



The dollar dropped below 100 yen in Tokyo for the first time since the modern exchange rate system was established a half-century ago.



Five years ago (1999):



George Papadopoulos, the head of Greece's 1967-74 military dictatorship, died of cancer in Athens at age 80.



Juli Inkster shot a 6-under 65 to win the LPGA Championship, becoming the second woman to win the modern career Grand Slam (the first was Pat Bradley).



The Seattle Mariners beat the Texas Rangers 5-2 in the final game at the Kingdome.



One year ago (2003):



More than 735,000 phone numbers were registered on the first day of a national do-not-call list aimed at blocking unwelcome solicitations from telemarketers.



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Today's Birthdays:



Business executive (Ray) H. (Henry) "Ross" Perot is 74.



The former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, retired Army Gen. John Shalikashvili, is 68.



Former Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt is 66.



Singer-musician Bruce Johnston (The Beach Boys) is 62.



Actress Julia Duffy is 53.



Actress Isabelle Adjani is 49.



Country singer Lorrie Morgan is 45.



Actor Brian Drillinger is 44.



Actor Yancey Arias is 33.



Actor Tobey Maguire is 29.



Gospel singer Leigh Nash is 28.



Actress Madylin Sweeten is 13.



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Thought for Today:

"If a man cannot be a Christian in the place where he is, he cannot be a Christian anywhere." -

- Henry Ward Beecher, American clergyman (1813-1887).

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Today is Saturday, June 26th.

The 178th day of 2004.

There are 188 days left in the year.



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Today's Highlight in History:



On June 26, 1963, President Kennedy visited West Berlin, where he was greeted by more than a million of the divided city's residents. In a speech, he made his famous declaration: "Ich bin ein Berliner" In English, the intended translation is "I am a Berliner," a phrase Kennedy hoped would encourage the isolated city. In fact, a "Berliner" is local slang for something like a donut, so he was saying "I Am a Jelly Doughnut", but everyone seemed to understand what the President meant. The pun is still famous in Germany, and many comics will still use the line.



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On this date:



In 1483, In a royal drama later told by Shakespeare, Richard, Duke of Gloucester, takes the crown of England as Richard III, following the death of King Edward IV and the imprisonment of the young Edward V.



In 1498, The toothbrush is invented in China.



In 1804, The Lewis and Clark Expedition reached the mouth of the Kansas River after completing a westward trek of nearly 400 river miles.



In 1819, The Bicycle was patented by William Clarkson Jr. of New York.



In 1858, China was forced to open its port cities to foreigners by the threat of military force by European ships.



In 1870, The first section of Atlantic City, New Jersey's Boardwalk was opened to the public.



In 1894, The first U.S. patent for a gasoline-driven automobile is issued to Karl Benz of Germany.



In 1894, Railroad workers led by Eugene V. Debs begin a national strike in sympathy with employees at the Pullman railcar company. Later, troops sent by President Grover Cleveland put a violent end to the strike.



In 1900, A commission that included Dr. Walter Reed began the fight against the deadly disease yellow fever.



In 1904, Actor/Director Peter Lorre (Laszlo Loewenstein) was born in Hungary. He died March 23, 1964 at age 59.



In 1909, Elvis Presley's manager "Colonel" Tom Parker was born. He died January 21, 1997 at age87.



In 1912, The Oreo cookie was born by Nabisco.



In 1914, Olympic medalist/Golfer/Actress Mildred "Babe" Didrikson Zaharias was born. Probably the greatest female athlete of the 20th century, she died September 27, 1956 at age 42.



In 1917, The first troops of the American Expeditionary Force arrived in France during World War I.



In 1919, The first issue of the New York "Daily News" was published, under the name "The Illustrated Daily News."



In 1924, The "Ziegfeld Follies" opens on Broadway.



In 1925, The Gold Rush, Charlie Chaplin's epic comedy set in Alaska, opens. A critical and popular success, it is immediately acclaimed as a landmark in film history.



In 1942, The Grumman F6F Hellcat fighter was flown for the first time.



In 1944, The Republican national convention opened in Chicago with a keynote speech by California Governor Earl Warren.



In 1945, The charter of the United Nations was signed by 50 countries in San Francisco.



In 1959, President Eisenhower joined Britain's Queen Elizabeth II in ceremonies officially opening the St. Lawrence Seaway.



In 1959, CBS journalist Edward R. Murrow interviewed Lee Remick. It was his 500th and final guest on "Person to Person."



In 1964, The Beatles release "A Hard Day's Night" album



In 1968, Chief U.S. Justice Earl Warren announced his intention to resign.



In 1972, The Air Force unveils the new F-15 jet fighter.



In 1977, 42 people were killed when a fire sent toxic smoke pouring through the Maury County Jail in Columbia, Tenn.



In 1981, We take you now to Mountain Home, Idaho and a supermarket frequented by Virginia Campbell. On this day, Mrs. Campbell took her clipped coupons and rebates and bought some groceries. A lot of them. Checkers totaled some $24,460 worth, in fact! How much did Campbell end up paying with all of those coupons and rebates? Only 67 cents! Reports indicated that she would have received a REFUND of $12.97, but she decided to get film and flashbulbs after the bill was totaled.



In 1983, The Soviet Union announced that 15 Pentecostalists would be allowed to leave the country, including five who had taken refuge in the U.S. Embassy in Moscow for nearly five years.



In 1987, Supreme Court Justice Lewis F. Powell Jr. announced his retirement, leaving a vacancy that was filled by Anthony M. Kennedy.



In 1989, Canada updates coins with a new potrait of the Queen.



In 1989, In a pair of decisions, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the death penalty may be imposed for murderers who committed their crimes as young as 16, and for mentally retarded killers.



In 1990, President Bush, who had campaigned for office on a pledge of "no new taxes," conceded that tax increases would have to be included in any deficit-reduction package worked out with congressional negotiators.



In 1992, Los Angeles Police Chief Daryl Gates, the target of public wrath for the Rodney King beating, stepped down from office. Willie L. Williams was appointed the new C.O.P.



In 1993, President Clinton announced the U.S. had launched Tomahawk cruise missiles against Iraqi targets, Iraqi intelligence headquartes, because of "compelling evidence" Iraq had plotted to assassinate former President Bush. 6 people were killed.



In 1996, The Supreme Court ordered the Virginia Military Academy to admit women or forgo state support.



In 1997, The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Communications Decency Act of 1996 that made it illegal to distribute indecent material on the Internet.



In 1998, The Supreme Court issued a landmark sexual harassment ruling, putting employers on notice that they can be held responsible for supervisors' misconduct even if they knew nothing about it.



In 2000, The Human Genome Project and Celera Genomics Corp. jointly announced that they had created a working draft of the human genome.



In 2002, WorldCom Inc., the nation's No. 2 long-distance company, slid toward bankruptcy after disclosing what could be the biggest case of crooked accounting in U.S. history.



Ten years ago (1994):



Hundreds of thousands of homosexuals gathered in New York City to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the Stonewall Inn riot, considered the birth of the gay rights movement.



An Israeli commission found that a Jewish settler had acted alone when he shot and killed 29 Muslims in a Hebron mosque, rejecting Palestinian claims of a conspiracy.



104 degrees F (40 degrees C) at Denver Colorado.

107 degrees F (41.6 degrees C) at Albuquerque New Mexico.

112 degrees F (44.4 degrees C) at El Paso Texas.

122 degrees F (50 degrees C) at Laughlin Nevada.

126 degrees F (52.2 degrees C) in Death Valley Calif.



Five years ago (1999):



An advance contingent of Russian troops flew into Kosovo to help reopen a strategic airport and join an uneasy alliance with NATO peacekeepers.



One year ago (2003):



The Supreme Court, in a 6-3 decision, struck down state bans on gay sex.



A jury in Fort Worth, Texas, convicted former nurse's aide Chante Mallard of murder for hitting a homeless man with her car, driving home with his mangled body jammed in the windshield and leaving him to die in her garage.



Strom Thurmond, the longest-serving senator in U.S. history, died in Edgefield, S.C., at age 100. He was born December 5, 1902.



Sir Denis Thatcher, husband of former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, died in London at age 88.



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Today's Birthdays:



Actress Eleanor Parker is 82.



Jazz musician-film composer Dave Grusin is 70.



Actor Josef Sommer is 70.



Singer Billy Davis Jr. (The Fifth Dimension) is 64.



Singer Georgie Fame is 61.



Actor Clive Francis is 58.



Actor Robert Davi is 50.



Singer-musician Mick Jones is 49.



Actor Gedde Watanabe is 49.



Rock singer Chris Isaak is 48.



Rock singer Patty Smyth is 47.



Singer Terri Nunn (Berlin) is 43.



Actor Mark McKinney is 42.



Rock singer Harriet Wheeler (The Sundays) is 41.



Rock musician Colin Greenwood (Radiohead) is 35.



Actor Sean Hayes is 34.



Actor Matt Letscher is 34.



Actor Chris O'Donnell is 34.



Country singer Gretchen Wilson is 30.



Actor-musician Jason Schwartzman is 24.



Actress Kaitlin Cullum is 18.



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Thought for Today:

"When a diplomat says yes, he means perhaps; when he says perhaps, he means no; when he says no, he is no diplomat." -

- Anonymous.

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