DAILY CHUCKLE 8-207

"Let's all be careful out there!"

CANDY RICE HAS A...

PRICE ON HER HEAD

A $NZ5,000 reward for any Auckland University student who can successfully place her under arrest this weekend.

Who said it? BUSH or BATMAN

Don't you just love it when neo-con talk show hosts really screw up? Its even funnier when they try to blame liberals for it.

You wouldn't think a bumper sticker would cause this much reaction, would you?

We all know how bad the Reagan administration was about breaking laws. With the Bush docket, you need a scorecard to keep track.

I know the American justice system is founded on British common law but sometimes you wonder if that isn't a mistake.

Those "Don't Feed The Animals" signs at the zoo might need some modification. Some zoos are offering free admission to holders of food stamp cards. Modification: "Don't take the animal's food either"

Here's the church
Here's the steeple
Another crane falls
Crushing two people

Part of the ritual of becoming a TV news reporter is having to do live remotes from bad locations. This girl is a trouper. I doubt if she weighs more than 90 lbs.


Arkansas has a problem with one series of their license plates.



Its TGIF. Everybody have a great weekend.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

FIREFLY - THE TRAIN JOB (episode 02)

I have moved all my Firefly episodes to my other blog.

Just click here.

These episodes are now independent of the Hulu feed and will not continuously disappear.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 24TH

***

Today is Thursday, July 24, the 206th day of 2008. There are 160 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On July 24, 1858, Republican senatorial candidate Abraham Lincoln formally challenged Democrat Stephen A. Douglas to a series of political debates; the result was seven face-to-face encounters.

On this date:

• In 1783, Latin American revolutionary Simon Bolivar was born in Caracas, Venezuela.
• In 1847, Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived in the Great Salt Lake Valley in present-day Utah.
• In 1862, the eighth president of the United States, Martin Van Buren, died in Kinderhook, N.Y.
• In 1866, Tennessee became the first state to be readmitted to the Union after the Civil War.
• In 1929, President Hoover proclaimed the Kellogg-Briand Pact, which renounced war as an instrument of foreign policy.
• In 1937, the state of Alabama dropped charges against four of the nine young black men accused of raping two white women in the "Scottsboro Case."
• In 1948, Henry A. Wallace accepted the presidential nomination of the Progressive Party in Philadelphia.
• In 1959, during a visit to Moscow, Vice President Richard M. Nixon engaged in his famous "Kitchen Debate" with Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev.
• In 1967, French President Charles de Gaulle stirred controversy during a visit to Montreal, Canada, when he declared, "Vive le Quebec libre!" (Long live free Quebec!)
• In 1974, the Supreme Court unanimously ruled that President Nixon had to turn over subpoenaed White House tape recordings to the Watergate special prosecutor.

Ten years ago:

• A gunman burst into the U.S. Capitol, opening fire and killing two police officers before being shot and captured. (The accused shooter, Russell Eugene Weston Jr., is being held in a federal mental facility.)
• The motion picture "Saving Private Ryan," starring Tom Hanks and directed by Steven Spielberg, was released.

Five years ago:

• The House and Senate intelligence committees issued their final report on the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, citing countless blunders, oversights and miscalculations that prevented authorities from stopping the attackers.

One year ago:

• President Bush, speaking at Charleston Air Force Base in South Carolina, sought to justify the Iraq war by citing intelligence reports he said showed a link between al-Qaida's operation in Iraq and the terror group that attacked the United States on Sept. 11.
• A grand jury in New Orleans refused to indict Dr. Anna Pou, who was accused of murdering four seriously ill hospital patients with drug injections during the desperate aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
• Five Bulgarian nurses and a Palestinian doctor, sentenced to life in prison in Libya for allegedly infecting children with HIV, were released after 8 1/2 years behind bars.
• The U.S. minimum wage rose 70 cents to $5.85 an hour, the first increase in a decade.

Today's Birthdays:

• Movie director Peter Yates is 79.
• Actress Jacqueline Brookes is 78.
• Actor John Aniston (TV: "Days of Our Lives") is 75.
• Political cartoonist Pat Oliphant is 73.
• Comedian Ruth Buzzi is 72.
• Actor Mark Goddard is 72.
• Actor Dan Hedaya is 68.
• Actor Chris Sarandon is 66.
• Comedian Gallagher is 62.
• Actor Robert Hays is 61.
• Former Republican national chairman Marc Racicot is 60.
• Actor Michael Richards is 59.
• Actress Lynda Carter is 57.
• Movie director Gus Van Sant is 56.
• Country singer Pam Tillis is 51.
• Actor Kadeem Hardison is 43.
• Actress-singer Jennifer Lopez is 40.
• Actress Laura Leighton is 40.
• Actor John P. Navin Jr. is 40.
• Basketball player-turned-actor Rick Fox is 39.
• Actress-singer Kristin Chenoweth is 38.
• Actor Eric Szmanda is 33.
• Actress Rose Byrne is 29.
• Actress Summer Glau is 27.
• Actress Elisabeth Moss is 26.
• Actress Anna Paquin is 26.
• Actress Mara Wilson is 21.
• TV personality Bindi Irwin is 10.

Thought for Today:

"History, n. An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools."
From "The Cynic's Word Book" by Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-206

"Let's all be careful out there!"

ITS CALLED...

EXTREME CATAPULTING

Video proof that Americans aren't the only crazy people in the world.


My favorite "Golden Girl" recently passed at 84. Did you know that Estelle Getty was actually the youngest member of the cast? Here is a cute video she once made:


Ever wonder why our general election is held on the Tuesday following the first Monday in November?


Antarctica Time lapse: A Year on Ice


When homeowners lose their homes in forclosure, we laugh at them and call them stupid. When banks make high-risk investments on subprime debtors and lose, we issue $300,000,000,000 to bail them out

Are you smarter than a 5th grader?


Drive-by shootings are so 20th century The new fad in mass mayhem is drive-by grenading.

"Dude, I can't talk, I'm being chased by the police,"

Another entry in the LLDE hall of shame

Thank you for visiting Hope to see you again real soon.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

FIREFLY - SERENITY (episode 01)

I have moved all my Firefly episodes to my other blog.

Just click here.

These episodes are now independent of the Hulu feed and will not continuously disappear.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 23RD

***

Today is Wednesday, July 23, the 205th day of 2008. There are 161 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On July 23, 1967, a week of deadly race-related rioting that claimed 43 lives erupted in Detroit.

On this date:

• In 1885, Ulysses S. Grant, the 18th president of the United States, died in Mount McGregor, N.Y., at age 63.
• In 1892, Emperor Haile Selassie of Ethiopia was born.
• In 1914, Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia following the killing of Archduke Franz Ferdinand by a Serb assassin; the dispute led to World War I.
• In 1945, French Marshal Henri Petain, who had headed the Vichy government during World War II, went on trial, charged with treason. (He was condemned to death, but his sentence was commuted; Petain died in prison on this date in 1951.)
• In 1948, American pioneer filmmaker D.W. Griffith died in Los Angeles at age 73.
• In 1952, Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser launched a successful coup against King Farouk I.
• In 1958, Britain's Queen Elizabeth II named the first four women to peerage in the House of Lords.
• In 1977, a jury in Washington convicted 12 Hanafi Muslims of charges stemming from the hostage siege at three buildings the previous March.
• In 1982, actor Vic Morrow and two child actors, 7-year-old Myca Dinh Le and 6-year-old Renee Chen, were killed when a helicopter crashed on top of them during filming of a Vietnam War scene for "Twilight Zone: The Movie." (Director John Landis and four associates were later acquitted of manslaughter charges.)
• In 1986, Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey in London. (The couple divorced in 1996.)

Ten years ago:

• Scientists at the University of Hawaii announced they had turned out more than 50 carbon-copy mice with a cloning technique said to be more reliable than the one used to create Dolly the sheep.

Five years ago:

• A new audiotape purported to be from toppled dictator Saddam Hussein called on Iraqis to resist the U.S. occupation.
• Massachusetts' attorney general issued a report saying clergy members and others in the Boston Archdiocese probably sexually abused more than 1,000 people over a period of six decades.
• New York City Councilman James Davis was shot to death by political rival Othniel Askew at City Hall; a police officer shot and killed Askew.

One year ago:

• In the first political debate of its kind, all eight Democratic Party contenders, appearing on CNN, fielded questions submitted by the public on the Internet video-sharing site YouTube.
• Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, in his new capacity as a Mideast envoy, opened his mission to help Palestinians build solid foundations for their future state.
• Two suspects were arrested in the slayings of a woman and her two daughters during a violent home invasion in Cheshire, Conn.
• Genial comic Drew Carey was tapped to replace legend Bob Barker on the CBS daytime game show "The Price is Right."

Today's Birthdays:

• Actress Gloria DeHaven is 83.
• Supreme Court Justice Anthony M. Kennedy is 72.
• Actor Ronny Cox is 70.
• Radio personality Don Imus is 68.
• Country singer Tony Joe White is 65.
• Rock singer David Essex is 61.
• Actor Larry Manetti is 61.
• Singer-songwriter John Hall is 60.
• Actress Belinda Montgomery is 58.
• Rock musician Blair Thornton (Bachman Turner Overdrive) is 58.
• Actor Woody Harrelson is 47.
• Rock musician Martin Gore (Depeche Mode) is 47.
• Actor Eriq Lasalle is 46.
• Rock musician Yuval Gabay is 45.
• Rock musician Slash is 43.
• Actor Philip Seymour Hoffman is 41.
• Rock musician Nick Menza is 40.
• Model-actress Stephanie Seymour is 40.
• Actress Charisma Carpenter is 38.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Sam Watters is 38.
• Country singer Alison Krauss is 37.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Dalvin DeGrate is 37.
• Rock musician Chad Gracey (Live) is 37.
• Actor-comedian Marlon Wayans is 36.
• Country singer Shannon Brown is 35.
• Actor Omar Epps is 35.
• Baseball player Nomar Garciaparra is 35.
• Actress Stephanie March is 34.
• Country musician David Pichette (Emerson Drive) is 31.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Michelle Williams is 28.
• Actor Daniel Radcliffe is 19.

Thought for Today:

"Troubles impending always seem worse than troubles surmounted, but this does not prove that they really are."
Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr., American historian.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-205

"Let's all be careful out there!"

"WALL STREET GOT DRUNK...

AND NOW ITS GOT A HANGOVER"

Gee, Mr. President. To carry your metaphor one further step. As the nation's lead "bartender" don't you know when to stop serving an obvious drunk? We all know the courts have ruled serving a person who has over imbided leaves the bartender legally liable.

Well, hello Dolly:

How could it have been a defeat? Bush had already declared "Mission Accomplished!"


McCain has put the right person in the right place of his campaign. Steve "Sgt" Schmidt is as good as the come.

Holy crap, Batman


A classic example of "Suicide by Cop".

Louise Brown, the world's first IVF ("test tube") bab, turns 30 this Friday.

Ben Franklyn is credited with "A penny saved is a penny earned". Allowing for inflation, this lady from Boston has taken that into the 21st century.

Have a great day everyone. Its "hump day". Downhill to the weekend.


"Let's all be careful out there!"

JULY 22ND

***

Today is Tuesday, July 22, the 204th day of 2008. There are 162 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:
On July 22, 1933, American aviator Wiley Post completed the first solo flight around the world as he returned to New York's Floyd Bennett Field after traveling for 7 days, 18 3/4 hours.
On this date:

• In 1587, an English colony fated to vanish under mysterious circumstances was established on Roanoke Island off North Carolina.
• In 1796, Cleveland was founded by Gen. Moses Cleaveland.
• In 1908, American etiquette expert Amy Vanderbilt was born in New York City.
• In 1934, a man identified as bank robber John Dillinger was shot to death by federal agents outside Chicago's Biograph Theater.
• In 1937, the Senate rejected President Roosevelt's proposal to add more justices to the Supreme Court.
• In 1942, the Nazis began transporting Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto to the Treblinka concentration camp.
• In 1943, American forces led by Gen. George S. Patton captured Palermo, Sicily, during World War II.
• In 1946, Jewish extremists blew up a wing of the King David Hotel in Jerusalem, killing 90 people.
• In 1975, the House of Representatives joined the Senate in voting to restore the American citizenship of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee.
• In 1983, Samantha Smith and her parents returned home to Manchester, Maine, after completing a whirlwind tour of the Soviet Union.

Ten years ago:

• The Senate Armed Services Committee rejected, on a 9-9 vote, Daryl Jones' bid to become Air Force secretary.
• President Clinton, with Republican lawmakers at his side, signed a bill designed to mold the Internal Revenue Service into a friendlier, fairer tax collector.

Five years ago:

• Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai were killed when U.S. forces stormed a villa in Mosul, Iraq.
• Months after her prisoner-of-war ordeal, Pfc. Jessica Lynch returned home to a hero's welcome in Elizabeth, W.Va.

One year ago:

• A bus carrying Polish Catholic pilgrims from a holy site in the French Alps plunged off a steep mountain road, killing 26 people.
• Padraig Harrington survived a calamitous finish in regulation and a tense putt for bogey on the final hole of a playoff to win the British Open.
• Cinematographer Laszlo Kovacs died in Beverly Hills, Calif., at age 74.

Today's Birthdays:

• Former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole, R-Kan., is 85.
• Singer Margaret Whiting is 84.
• Actor-comedian Orson Bean is 80.
• Fashion designer Oscar de la Renta is 76.
• Actress Louise Fletcher is 74.
• Movie director John Korty is 72.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Chuck Jackson is 71.
• Actor Terence Stamp is 69.
• Game show host Alex Trebek is 68.
• Singer George Clinton is 67.
• Actor-singer Bobby Sherman is 65.
• Singer Estelle Bennett (The Ronettes) is 64.
• Movie writer-director Paul Schrader is 62.
• Actor Danny Glover is 61.
• Actor-comedian-director Albert Brooks is 61.
• Rock singer Don Henley is 61.
• Movie composer Alan Menken is 59.
• Actor Willem Dafoe is 53.
• Rhythm-and-blues singer Keith Sweat is 47.
• Actress Joanna Going is 45.
• Actor Rob Estes is 45.
• Folk singer Emily Saliers (Indigo Girls) is 45.
• Actor John Leguizamo is 44.
• Actor-comedian David Spade is 44.
• Actor Patrick Labyorteaux is 43.
• Rock musician Pat Badger is 41.
• Actress Irene Bedard is 41.
• Actor Rhys Ifans is 41.
• Actor Colin Ferguson is 36.
• Rock musician Daniel Jones is 35.
• Singer Rufus Wainwright is 35.
• Actress Franka Potente is 34.
• Actress A.J. Cook is 30.

Thought for Today:

"Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever."
Helen Rowland, American writer and humorist (1875-1950).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-204

"Let's all be careful out there!"