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Friday, June 23, 2006

STRANGE & PROFITABLE SHIFT

STRANGE

Jim G. (aka: "O-B-ONE") was dispatching when I logged in. Jim started just a few months after me and is familiar with our radio routine. He drives days and holds over to nights if we are busy. The other times he has handled the phone were relatively slow nights. While last night wasn't really busy, it was active and poor Jim just wasn't in the "zone". Kept losing track of where cars were and was dispatching runs to cars that were already on runs. Only heard about half of the radio traffic directed toward him. He hung in there, though, until 10:00pm before he gave the phone over to TMR Alex. After that things smoothed out.

We were overloaded with cabs most of the night. Me, two night drivers, 2 casual evening drivers and 4 dayshift holdovers. At 10:30pm I had 3 runs on the log. Pitiful. Went home and came back out at 12-midnite and started making money.

We have a new driver, Joseph "The Jerk", who is stupid-crazy. Early in the evening we had both been ordered back to Wailea to fill the queue. I had just turned onto southbound Pi'ilani Highway at Lipoa Street. A few seconds later I hear the sound of tires sliding on the road. Looked in my sideview mirror and there was "The Jerk", in cab #7 (our Lincoln Town Car) sliding out of Lipoa street onto the highway in a maneuver out of the video game Grand Theft Auto. As soon as he regained control, I could hear him accelerate into passing gear. The speed limit on the Pi'ilani is 40 mph. I was doing 45mph and he passed me accelerating through 65 mph. I told him over the radio to back it down. He acknowledged the transmission and continued blazing down the road. Why? Because he didn't want me to get to Wailea first. Whats even worse is that his unorthodox turn onto the Pi'ilani forced all the cars to slam on their brakes to keep from hitting him. This moron is dangerous.

Last Thursday night he disappeared with cab #7 at 2:00am and we never heard from him until 4:15am. Did the same thing this morning. "Murph", #7's day driver, was pissed. Both days he had early morning specials that he was late picking up because of this idiot.

Joseph "The Jerk" goes 24 to 48 hours awake and then crashes. When you finally get him to wake up he is totally out of it, but 5 minutes later he is running in "high gear".

I guess racing down the road isn't the only kind of "speed" he enjoys.




Anyone up for smoked squid?

As the richest "third world" nation, we do have some unique items in our stores.



PROFITABLE

The Continental flight from the mainland didn't arrive last night. Never left the mainland. At midnite we received a request for 2 cabs to pick up from OGG and bring the people to the Wailea Marriott. I lucked out and picked up a couple and a solo male, which meant that I collected 2 vouchers for one trip. Being paid twice for one trip is a nice feeling.

Shortly after I cleared that run, I was again sent to the airport.

Picked up some honeymooners. They had been planning on returning to NYC (Staten Island) last night but had been on that Continental flight. The counter agent got them moved to a United flight that had two seats open. And United then had mechanical problems, forcing another cancelled flight.

At this point, the airline personnel basically "lost it". There were just a few rooms available on the island and people from both flights had to sleep in baggage claim. The airline's counter staff just walked off the job and went home, leaving all the passengers in limbo. "Not my chob, mon."


~ Mike & Elisa ~
Married June 10th

My newlyweds contacted their travel agent in NYC, who found them accommodations at the Ka'anapali Shores condos in Honokawai, between Ka'anapali and Kahana, on the westside of the island.


Since this is Friday, all departing flights are fully booked. Those stranded are going to be in a bind unless United & Continental bring in new aircraft.

My newlywed's travel agent was busy trying to make some type of connection for them off the island. Maybe they'll get one of the "puddle jumpers" over to Honolulu International, where chances are better for seats to the mainland.

I wish everybody the best of luck. They're going to need it.



Later.....

Wil
=8^))
"Let's all be careful out there!"

Thursday, June 22, 2006

9/11 REVENGE

sent to me by my son~

The Budweiser Story
(not a joke) This is TRUE!

How Budweiser handled those who laughed at those who died on the 11th of September, 2001...Thought you might like to know what happened in a little town north of Bakersfield, California.
After you finish reading this, please forward this story on to others so that our nation and people around the world will know about those who laughed when they found out about the tragic events in New York, Pennsylvania, and the Pentagon.

On September 11th, a Budweiser employee was making a delivery to a convenience store in a California town named McFarland. He knew of the tragedy that had occurred in New York when he entered the business to find the two Arabs, who owned the business, whooping and hollering to show their approval and support of this treacherous attack.

The Budweiser employee went to his truck, called his boss and told him of the very upsetting event! He didn't feel he could be in that store with those horrible people. His boss asked him, "Do you think you could go in there long enough to pull every Budweiser
product and item our beverage company sells there? We'll never deliver to them again." The employee walked in, proceeded to pull every single product his beverage company provided and left with an incredible grin on his face.?He told them never to bother to call
for a delivery again. Budweiser happens to be the beer of choice for that community. Just letting you know how Kern County handled this situation.

And Now The Rest Of The Story:

It seems that the Bud driver and the Pepsi man are neighbors. Bud called Pepsi and told him. Pepsi called his boss who told him to pull all Pepsi products as well!! !! That would include Frito Lay, etc. Furthermore, word spread and all vendors followed suit! At last report, the store was closed indefinitely. Good old American
Passive-Aggressive A$$ Whoopin!

Pass this along, America needs to know that we're all working together!

If you can read this... thank a teacher...

If you are reading it in English...THANK A SOLDIER!!!
God Bless America!!!


Probably an Urban Legend/Myth but then again, the Central Valley of California IS one of the most "red-neck" areas of America.



Later.....

Wil
=8^))
"Let's all be careful out there!"

HEAVEN & HELL

sent to me by my son ~

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"



Later.....

Wil
=8^))
"Let's all be careful out there!"

ITS NOT THE TRAFFIC...

ITS THE BOREDOM

Thats what cabbies really hate.

Well, last night was not boring. Only one quasi-interesting event but we stayed active until 2:00am. Then it died.
First run of the night was dispatched to me less than a minute after I logged in. Picked up a government employee from the middle of Kihei and took a roundtrip to Wailuku. The employee had shared a ride to and from work and had left the house and car keys at work, on the desk Wailuku is the county seat of Mau'i and is where all County, State and Federal offices are located.

Gave me $70.00 on a $69.20. Lets face it, they are more conservative with their own money than they are with ours.

The 9-story County office building:




Felt like one o' dem dere big city slicker cabbies when I got back to town. Picked up a "flag" at Hapa's which took me south to the "Triangle". Where I instantly got another flag going south to Moose McGilacuddy's. Where I snagged another "flag" back to Hapa's. Instantly had three folks hop in wanting to go to their condo, about 1 mile south of "Moose's". When they saw "Moose's" we had to turn around.

The radio went into "lull" mode (no calls). and I took advantage of rest to make a needed stop at Foodland. I got back into my cab and a young Japanese lady asked for a ride to Kahului.

Stayed steady all night with bar runs.

At 2:00am the phone quit ringing. Handled two "regular" runs and closed the shift with a GW-KBR pu-pu.



THE NON-RUN

While making a drop at Hapa's, their bouncers tried to shove a middle-aged, drunk, "ice-head" woman into the cab. I stopped them and said that I would need the money up front and an EXACT address for the destination. After a minute she never could give a straight answer regarding her address and I wished the bouncers "good luck" and beat-feet out of there. Hapa's did call a bit later and every driver, save Crazy Brian, declined the call. After he drove the 4 miles to Hapa's she was, of course, gone.



Later.....

Wil
=8^))
"Let's all be careful out there!"

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

FIRST DAY OF SUMMER

OR THE START OF WINTER

It all depends on which side of the equator you live on.

Oh, it arrived at 0026 hours, UTC.



SHE'S HERE!



Okay, the rumor was true.

Which shows why I never wager on anything.

THE Oprah is on Mau'i.

Harpo Productions is occupying 80% of the rooms at The Grand. Oprah herself is not staying at the hotel. She owns property on the east side of the island (Huelo) and has a home in Wailea. This is not a conference or a training session. These people are on VACATION (HOLIDAY) to the fullest extent of the word. The parking structure is virtually empty since these folks are from Chicago and take taxis everywhere. Most are contented to stay on campus but enough want to "do things" that we are staying active.

My last run of the shift was a mother and teenage son going to KBR (Kihei Boat Ramp).

Only the son was going to Molokini but mom had to accompany him to sign the necessary release forms. A nice roundtrip. She has been with Oprah since 1989 and is an independent contractor in their "tech" department.

I am not positive but I think she designs the sets for both the syndicated show and the Oxygen Network

Apparently Oprah is busy during the day but always shows for the group dinner. And she is footing the bill for everything.

That truly is a "Paid Vacation".



LAST NIGHT


For the first time in almost 6 months I finally got a run from The Grand to The Ritz-Carlton in Kapalua. A distance of 33.75 miles (54.32 km), 56 minutes one way, and $116.00 on the meter. Two "30-something" Japanese gentlemen.

Both fell asleep before I was out of Kihei.

They tipped nicely too.


Grabbed a Micki D's "choke and puke" burger for dinner on the way back.

FYI - Save your money and don't order their MEGA-MAC. You don't get that much more to justify the added cost.

Finished the shift well above $200 on the meter and did that on just 11 runs.



BISCUITS


For most of the english speaking world, a "biscuit" is what Americans would call a cookie. But in the States it is a soft, layered, fluffy roll. You either fill it with butter and jelly/jam/preserves or smother it in white gravy (usually pork sausage based).

I like to wrap them, before baking, around a small frankfurter for "Pigs In A Blanket".

I have no idea what it is called in the rest of the world.



LIQUOR LAW


As far as I know, Mau'i County is the only jurisdiction in the entire United States that requires mandatory identification, regardless of age, to purchase alcoholic beverages. Whether by the package, in stores, or by the drink, in bars. And the ID must be a current, valid, government issued document. 21 to 101+, no ID, no booze.



Later.....

Wil
=8^))
"Let's all be careful out there!"

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

THE END OF THE WORLD

IT CAN HAPPEN

This video is from a Japanese TV (NHK) show. Sorry, I don't speak Japanese but the images tell the story.



Scary, huh. A "Bend over and kiss your ass goodbye" situation.



Later.....

Wil
=8^))
"Let's all be careful out there!"

BUMPER STICKERS































Later.....

Wil
=8^))
"Let's all be careful out there!"

Monday, June 19, 2006

JUST A REMINDER

WE ARE NOW IN HURRICANE SEASON

KATRINA @ 908mb





Later.....

Wil
=8^))
"Let's all be careful out there!"