HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WISKERS!!

Hands down, the most beautiful woman I know

"Let's all be careful out there!"

ANGER MANAGEMENT

"Let's all be careful out there!"

A GLASS of WINE

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine...

And those who don't and are always

seen with a bottle of water in their hand.

As Ben Franklin said:

In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials,

Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink

1 litre of water each day,

At the end of the year we would have absorbed

More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria

Found in feces.

In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop..

However,

We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:

Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,

Than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:

I'm doing it as a public service!

"Let's all be careful out there!"

5 DR.s

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from New York , says, 

"I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.."

The second, from Chicago , responds, 

"Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, 

"No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order"

The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: 

"You know, I like construction workers... Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington DC , shut them all up when he observed:

"You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on.  There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the butt are interchangeable."

"Let's all be careful out there!"

Every Crisis Has A Bright Side

"Let's all be careful out there!"

GOOD NEWS / BAD NEWS

This afternoon I go back to the eye surgeon to have 4 more stitches removed from the right eye. That will leave 4 to be removed at the end of the month or early June. It appears the corneal transplant and lens replacement are healing very well.

Had the PET/CT scan last Wednesday. The tumors have returned to my abdomen and thus a new round of chemo will be commenced shortly. Also radiation is being added. I usually have a pretty high tolerance for pain but it has become debilitating enough that the Doc now has me on Vicodin. Doesn't really eliminate it but it allows me to have some functionality.

This new chemo drug may forestall having the needed surgery on my left eye this Fall. That's disappointing.

Side effects of the new chemo will be hair loss and diarrhea. So there goes my pony-tail and beard. Oh, well. Feces occurs.

Self evaluating my emotional status: Mostly disappointment. Not depressed. Not afraid. I am a realist and knew that going into this situation I had, at best, a 50% chance of winning.

I'll let y'all know whats happening when an update is warranted.

"Let's all be careful out there!"

Hubble's 20th Anniversary Image:

NEWS STORY

"Let's all be careful out there!"

"So, how'd you break your arm?"

Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the slopes as written by a New Orleans paper:

A friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart.

Conditions were perfect...12 below (-24c), no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over...the "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of day. One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a rest room. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away. If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a temperature of 12 below doesn't help matters. With time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods and no one would even notice. He assured her, "The white will provide more than adequate camouflage."

So she headed for the tree line, began lowering her ski pants and proceeded to do her thing. If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right way and wrong way to set your skis so you don't move.

Yup, you got it!!! She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not forgiving...even during the most embarrassing moments. Without warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing through the trees...somehow missing all of them and onto another slope. Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while.

She continued backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual vista for the other skiers. The woman skied back under the lift and finally collided violently with a pylon.

The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. At long last her husband arrived, putting an end to her nudie show, then summoned the ski patrol. They transported her to a hospital.

While in the emergency room, a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk. "It was the stupidest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up this ski lift and suddenly, I couldn't believe my eyes! There was this crazy woman skiing backward, out-of-control, down the mountain, with her bare bottom hanging out of her pants. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of the lift." ..

"So, how'd you break your arm?"

"Let's all be careful out there!"

HERE'S A THOUGHT FOR YOU

This is what the world would look like if all the ice melted, causing a 100 meter rise in sea level

This is the maximum that the world could ever see. I mean, there is only so much water on earth.  So, how in the hell do bible-thumpers claim that Noah's ark rests on Mt. Ararat in Turkey?  There isn't now, nor has there ever been, enough water to do that.  As far as the "world flood" myth?  Again, IMPOSSIBLE!  The story of Noah has as much credence as that movie 2012 - NONE.

"Let's all be careful out there!"