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Monday, April 28, 2008

I HAVE FOUND THE SOLUTION

TO THE IRANIAN PROBLEM

All we have to do is air drop millions of Barbie dolls into the country. It would utterly destroy their culture and nation. We could even save money by having China produce "knock-off" versions at a cheaper price than what we spend at retail in the US. Attached to these dolls would be catalogs for all the clothing and accessories that can be purchased for Barbie.

Don't laugh. I've heard of sillier ideas.

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It must really be a bitch being a prisoner in the Benton County (AR) jail. How can a man be expected to maintain his weight on a 3,000 calorie a day diet?

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Does anyone else get the feeling that our government is playing "three-card Monty" when explaining to Congress what does and doesn't constitute torture when interrogating prisoners? Even after a Presidential directive, issued last year, saying that we would abide by international law, the final determination of what are acceptable exceptions are still being debated.

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Southern California folks are caught between a rock and a hard spot. Or, to be more specific, between early season brush fires and shark infested beaches. With all the smog, they can't see either one anyway. Life can be a bitch in SoCal.

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A few days back, a 73 year old man casually drove onto one of the runways at Miami International Airport. He was quickly stopped and detained by authorities and no air traffic was endangered. Airports have security blockades at all the major structures at an airport but seem to have minimal defense protection at the fencing and gates bordering their property. Okay, TSA and DHL. What are your plans now? How many more millions will this cost to protect?

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I play at golf. Its enjoyable. I hate playing with cheats, persons with anger management issues and drunks. Sadly I seldom get to play anymore. I actually witnessed a guy hit a legitimate hole-in-one about 20 years ago. It was late twilight, we could barely see the pin from the green on the last hole. He made his drive and we all followed in turn. We get to the green, it was a short par-3, and three balls laid in various spots for easy putts. No one could see the fourth ball. We all looked and walked around the green, in case it had run off. No where. He turned to me and asked if I would check the cup. He didn't want to do it himself, so no one could accuse him of planting the ball. Sure enough, there his ball was. A hole-in-one! He got off lucky. A person who shoots an ace has to buy a round for the entire bar after the game. The bar had closed while we were doing the search.

Well, a few days ago in Muscatine, Iowa, a guy got a hole-in-one on the third hole. A 12 handicap player, he was excited. Then he shot another one on the 8th.

67,000,000-to-1 odds of that happening. Two aces in one round of golf by the same player. His final score was a 78.

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This story leaves itself open for sooo many jokes. And in a similar genre, comes this story out of Florida.

Where is Johnny Carson when you need him?

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I hope your weekend went well.

Thanks for stopping in today. The company is always appreciated. Hope to see you tomorrow.

Mahalo

Aloha


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