Paradise Driver: MIND OVER MATTER...

Saturday, January 12, 2008

MIND OVER MATTER...

AND MATTER WON

When I awoke at 1:30 PM, I was iffy about going in. It was Friday and would probably be the best night of the week. Had a bite, fell back to sleep on the sofa and awoke at 6:00 PM. That was it. Every muscle protested and there was obviously NOT going to be a night of "fun 'n' games". Called off and went back to bed. Thats one problem we in the service industry are subject to. Even though I live in one of the healthiest places on the face of the Earth, being couped up in a cab with people from all over the world, with their cold and flu germs, makes me susceptible to every bug going around. Each year my endurance/resistance level seems to be less than the year before. The benefits of age.

We have had something going around, a few other drivers have taken off recently, also.

Another good nights sleep and I'll be back in the trenches tonight.

***

JACK SPARROW, NOT!

For more details on the above video, just stop by here. The "backstory" is interesting.

Thanks to Cerbeus At The Gate

***

And people think cops don't have a sense of humor.

I love sarcasm. Especially "cop" sarcasm:

16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'

13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12. 'Can you run faster than 1350 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

10. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'

8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'

5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

4. 'And just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....

1. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.