"GOOD MORNING"

"ROYAL CAB"

The following occurred between 1:24a and 1:36a, this morning. While I was "under fare".

man (making a failing attempt to not sound drunk): "I need a cab to take me from here to Kahului."
ME: "Where are you at, sir?"
drunk: "I told you. I am here."
PD: "Where is 'here', sir?"
drunk: "I told you already. I want a cab to take me to Kahului."
PD: "Yes, sir. You want a cab to take you to Kahului. Where should I send it."
drunk: "Kihei."
PD: "Where in Kihei?"
drunk: "Here."

[click]

1 minute later...

PD: "Blah, blah, blah..."
drunk: "I need a cab to take me to Kahului."
PD: "Yes, sir. Where are you at?"
drunk: "Kihei."
PD: "Oh, good. I have a cab in Kihei right this minute. Go outside and hop in."
drunk: "Okay."

[click]

5 minutes later....

drunk: "You said the cab was outside. I can't find it."
PD: "I am sorry, sir. Where exactly in Kihei are you?"
drunk: "Here."
PD: "Sir. Where do you want to be picked up from?"
drunk: "The bar."
PD: "Which bar, sir?"
drunk: "The one I am in."
PD: "And the name of that bar is...?"
drunk: "I don't know."

[click]

1 minute later....

drunk: "I need a cab to take me to Kahului."
PD: "Friend. we've been through this multiple times. I know that you are extremely ethanol challenged at the moment but I can't assist you if you fail to cooperate. I need to know the name of the bar that you are at. Without that vital data set, I have no idea of where to send the cab, to pick you up and take you to Kahului. Work with me, okay. What is the name of the bar that you are in?"
drunk: "It the sports bar."
PD: "There are three sports bars in Kihei, sir."
drunk: "Huh? There are? I'm gonna have to check out those others. Where are they?"
PD: "Lets table your future plans for the moment. In order to get you home, I need to know the name of the bar you are at, right now."
drunk: "Okay."
PD: "And the name is....?"
drunk: "I don't know."

[click]

3 minutes later....

"I need a cab to take me......"
PD: "Where are you at?"
drunk: "Lulu's."
PD: "Finally! Sir, we are unable to access the parking lot at Lulu's. We'll pick you up in front of Bad Ass Coffee."
drunk: "Where the fuck is that?"
PD: "Sir. Walk downstairs from Lulu's. No, better yet, take the elevator downstairs from Lulu's. We don't want you to fall and break your neck (like hell I don't). Turn towards the street when you get to the parking lot. Wait on the curb and I will have a cab there for you in about 5 minutes."
drunk: "Huh?"
PD: "What part of 'walk to the street' didn't you understand, sir?"
drunk: "You'll pick me up on the street?"
PD: "Yes, sir."
drunk: "Street. Okay. I want to go to Kahului."
PD: "I know......uh, sir. I know."

[click]

5 minutes later, Hardin (#25) made the pickup. I told him to get a deposit up front before accepting the fare.

By this time, the 30-ish couple, who were my fare, were in stitches. Tears running down their cheeks. Since I use a blue-tooth on the company phone, they were able to catch bits and pieces of the drunk's words and all my Q&As.

"How do you stay so placid?" The male asked.
"I only do when I have passengers." I replied.
"That was the best 'free' comedy routine I have ever listened to." The lady laughed. "Tip him good."

And they did.

***

It was a full-moon last night. I didn't even have to look up at it's radiant beauty, in our clear tropical starfield, to know that.

It was as busy as I anticipated. Logged in at 6:59p and was on my way to OGG at 7:01p. Took control of the phone at 7:07p. No reservations for the night and no available cabs. But the Fates were sticking their tongues in my ear and biting my earlobes. Doing what ever was needed to make the night a fun one. 7 cabs on the road but only 6 "on stage". "Maui Jim" (#17) had taken a fare to Mama's Fish House, over in Pa'ia, and stayed to cover their return. That is sensible, since it is a 45 minute trip, each way, and he would only have about 20 minutes in Kihei before he needed to go back. A waste of gas to do that. About 9:30p, Lee (#09) went "10-2" (end of shift). That left me with my five cards (cabs) for this hand of "draw" poker.

That bone crunching/popping sound you hear is my arm joints protesting while I try to pat myself on the back for the excellent job I did last night. I had everything working like a well oiled gear. The other drivers sensed it too. Everybody played like a professional sports team. I was proud of them. None of the night crew got off until 2:30a. We were THAT busy. We only had 3 or 4 "10-13"s (no load/no show) the entire shift. Everybody made good $$s. The tips were top notch also. I actually averaged about 55% of the meter in tips.

1 OGG / 8 bar rush / 2 bar close / 5 dog watch

When Wally (#05) checked in, I was still moving. Thus he started his shift with 2 decent fares before we could meet up and pass over the phone. Just as I was turning ONE-NINE over to "Murph", Wally announced that he had a fare to MMMC from Wailea. He has a great start for the day. Passed on a large number of reservations. Day shift is going to be slammed.

16 fares / 140 miles / third quarted of $200 bracket

***

Enjoy the weekend.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Luau

Rainbow Over Our Power Plant

Interesting

Silversword

***

92242




"Let's all be careful out there!"

WEDNESDAY NIGHT REDUX

WITH A BETTER SUNSET

The sunset last night was breath-taking. The fire, on the "west-side", continues to burn. Traffic management along SR-30 (Honoapi'ilani Highway) is still chaotic and the emergency shelter is still open at Maui High School, in Kahului, for those folks stranded on this side.

I shot these images between 7:10p and 7:35p, from the Wailea Lookout.

As the almost full moon rose over Haleakala, we were treated to some outstanding views. I actually took 29 photos and then narrowed it down to these 6. I hope you enjoy them.

***

After sitting for an hour, I finally was dispatched into town for a return to Wailea. One hour later was my next fare, also from Kihei to Wailea. All the drivers were antsy. This is summer and it was D E A D ! I told them not to worry. Our business was going to come during the bar rush and bar close. Hardin (#25) didn't believe me and bailed by 8p. All but one of the day drivers were gone by then also. As I predicted, the phone went crazy at 10p. Everybody at the hotels were ready to get "shit-faced" and we were glad to oblige their endeavor. The bar rush earned me 6 trips and the bar close added 2 more. 3 additional on the graveyard rounded out the night.

Two of the grave runs were interesting. The first was three 18 yo girls from Los Angeles, California. Enjoying their freedom on Mau'i, they had hooked up with some fellas and started out to party last night. As soon as they were in the guys' car, the boys started passing around a fifth of Seagrams. The girls declined to indulge. After watching the driver take a healthy swig from the proffered bottle, they began to fear for their safety. Smart cookies! At the first stop, a convenience store to replenish supplies, the girls got out of the vehicle and started walking. They were NOT! having any part of this bullshit. Somehow, they eventually ended up at a condo near the Safeway Store, which is where I gathered them up. Took them to a private residence up in Maui Meadows. Even though it was past 2a, all three ladies were stone cold sober. Their parents should be proud.

As I was dropping them, I received a request from MPD. 4 people going from FoodLand to the Kea Lani.

Arrived and it was four young ladies, also from Los Angeles. All approximately 21-22 yo. They had enjoyed a night at the "Triangle" and didn't know how to get back to their hotel. Big city people do have a problem realizing that we aren't as flush with cabs as they are accustom to. The MPD-Kihei District Station is next door to FoodLand and they stopped an officer driving past and asked for assistance. During the time it took me to arrive, about 10 minutes, he had arranged to meet up with them at Liquids tonight. He will be off-duty and he is good looking and single, I think. Well, he'll have a 1-in-4 chance of "scoring". All four expressed an interest in him, during our journey.

13 fares / 128 miles / top end of the $100 bracket

***

By all indications, tonight should be very busy. Its a full moon. Payday. The end of the month. The start of Fourth of July week. Oh, and my night to run the show. I figure that all hell will probably break loose.

Check back on Saturday, those few of you who stop in over the weekend, and see what happened.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Sea Front
Lahaina

Luau

Tiki God

Waiting To Get "Shot"

Rainbow

***

92102





"Let's all be careful out there!"

THOSE CLOUDS

ARE REALLY SMOKE

The news clip tells the story. They opened the road about 4a today, but only one lane, alternating. A lot of people stranded, unable to get to their flights and arrivals unable to make it to their hotels.

OKAY. It looked good on Blogger preview but the video is not being displayed on the blog. You can see it if you right click where the image should be and then click "Zoom" followed by "Full Screen".




It was a good night. While I never left town, I stayed active the entire shift. 5 dinner runs occupied my first 2 hours and blended into the bar rush which netted 6 trips. A 1 hour break and then bar close began, capturing 3 additional journeys. Rounded out the dog-watch with 3 trips. Home by 5a.

17 fares / 137 miles / penetrated the bottom of the $200 bracket

Again, all my passengers were polite, and well behaved. I am not complaining. Believe me.

The only fare of note was a guy I picked up in north central Kihei. He was as gay as the sun is bright but didn't want to admit it. Like anyone really cares anymore. He first request me to drop him at Bada Bings, where Wednesday night's theme is "Alternative Lifestyle". Then he corrected himself and said he erred and wanted to go to Lulu's instead. Lulu's is right next door to Bada Bings. He commented that tonight was "Dolla Bolla" night. Which was correct, at Bada Bings, not Lulu's. He asked for my personal cell #, I gave him my card with the company number on it. He wanted to reserve a pick-up time after bar close. I told him that he needed to call when he was ready to go home because we are always busy at that time and do not accept reservations. Over 90% of the time, they are 10-13s (no show/no load) anyway. He never did call for a return. Must have gotten "Lucky". It must be difficult trying to live a lie, even if it is only to yourself.

***

We have a new driver. He works day shift and has been with us for a couple of months. He is a definite profit center for the company but his radio procedure is grating. If something can be said in less that 5 words, he'll use at least 50. When he "keys" the mike, it is diarrhea of the tonsils. A total brain dump into our communications system. He has never learned the two most important rules of radio.

1. KISS - Keep It Simple, Stupid
2. ABC - Accuracy, Brevity, Clarity

He needs to learn to put his brain in gear before engaging the clutch on his mouth.

***

This week is following and building on last week. We have entered the "summer" season. Next week is the Fourth of July holiday and we start getting slammed. Hopefully through Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer vacations.

Until tomorrow, my friends.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Lahaina
Offshore

Haleakala

Luau

Rainbow

"Just Walkin' The Dog"
Kihei

***

91974




"Let's all be careful out there!"

OH, I MADE MONEY

BUT IT WAS A DULL NIGHT

About as dull as last night's sunset.

First pick-up was out of Wailea about 7:45p to OGG. Decent. My next fare wasn't until 10:15p. Ouch!
The bar rush started shortly past 10p and lasted until 11:30p. Nobody moved for the next hour. At 12:30a we started the bar close. Captured 4 in the rush and 3 in the close. Plus 2 dog-watchers.

The final 3 fares were the ones of interest.

A 1:47a run from Mulligans-on-the-Blue to central Kihei with a stop in Maui Meadows. The female part of the equation is kama'aina and is getting married, in September, to a nice guy from Mulligans. She had offered to share a ride with a kama'aina male so he wouldn't have to wait for a cab. She sat up front with me while he was doing his best to flirt with her. She wasn't nearly as drunk as I have seen her before and she politely, and continuously, refused his advances. We dropped him at the only gated community we have on this side of Mau'i that isn't in Wailea and proceeded to her apartment. She chattered , endlessly, about her forthcoming nuptials. "Excited" would be an understatement.

The first graveyard trip were 4 pretty young things from Queensland, Australia. First night on the island and they had been checking out the "stud line" at the bars. During our trip, they asked about various activities they should do to enhance their holiday. I recited my standard suggested itinerary.

1. Molokini
2. Haleakala
3. Front Street.
4. Hana

The last run was a request from the Marriott. One of their young female (25yo) guests had tried to walk back to the hotel and was now lost. Like a lot of city folk, she thought there would be a cab to be found as she trekked. She had actually done pretty good. She had walked south, along South Kihei Road, from Fred's but became disoriented when she reached a short distance inside Wailea. After multiple unsuccessful attempts to call a cab in Kihei/Wailea, via 411 (directory assistance), she smartly called her hotel. A cute little ex-Navy woman, who looked like she was maybe, maybe, 17 years old.

Every one last night was polite and well behaved. No matter how intoxicated they were. Made for a pleasant night.

11 fares / 116 miles / third quarter of the $100 bracket

***

Everybody have a great day.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Sea Wall
Lahaina

Silversword

Luau

Interesting

Kihei

***

91837



"Let's all be careful out there!"

ITS MONDAY!

LETS LIGHTEN UP A BIT

***

SEX IN THE DARK

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic.

"You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:

"I'll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."

***

Nothing exciting tonight. Had dinner. Watched TV and came home.

The exciting, romantic, adventurous life of a bachelor in Paradise.

YAWN

See y'all tomorrow, after I get off work.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Haleakala Sunrise

Front Street
Lahaina

Rainbow

An Upscale Rent-A-Car

Staff Entrance
Lahaina Public Library

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"