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Wednesday, July 12, 2006



Was doing my shopping this morning and spotted this postcard. On the back it says:
An adult Humpback Whale breaches in the 'Au'au Channel, between Mau'i and Lana'i.

photo by Michael Nolan


They are called "Cane Spiders". They are harmless, except for causing a MI. About the size of a can of tuna, sometimes a little larger.

January, 1994.

I have just moved to Mau'i and was an extended houseguest of some friends living upcountry in Pukalani. My hosts were away for the evening, I am watching television and their daughter is upstairs putting her baby down for the night


My body dumps about 1000 gallons of 100 octane adrenaline into the bloodstream as I levitate off the couch and start running upstairs. In the middle of the narrow stairwell I meet the daughter, baby clutched tightly to her bossom, charging pell mell. She started climbing up my chest and over my head before I was able to lift them past me.

"Whats wrong? Is the baby okay?"

"M-m-m-m-mo-mo-mon-mon-monster! MONSTER!!"

She said there was a spider above the baby's crip.

A spider. Jeez. Give me a break.

I grab some newspaper off a table in the upstairs hall and enter her bedroom. My eyes scanning the room for this "monsterous" spider.


There, where she had said it would be, was a cousin to what you see above. About 4 inches (10 cm) across. I looked at the newsprint I was holding and realized that I had brought a knife to a gunfight. Back then I wore western (cowboy) boots and decided that they were my best weapon. Took one off and went on the attack. Holy shit. That son-of-a-bitch was fast. I chased it for ten minutes inside that small 8'x10' bedroom. Every time I thought I had it cornered, it would do a broken backfield run behind some other piece of furniture that I would have to move. Boxes, bureaus, dressers, beds and crib were shoved multiple times. These things aren't quiet when they move either. Sound like parchment rubbing sandpaper.




Dead, finally.

The mighty warrior reigns victorious!

Cleaned up the mess and sat down at the top of the stairs and had a smoke. I had earned it. My first foray against an insidious tropical beast.


I made decent money, I typically do, but it was god-awful slow. Had four, count-em, FOUR 10-13's (no load/no show) and 10 paid runs.

Even the hospital run I did at 2:00am was dull.

Talked to the boss about the slow meter and he said the "meter guy" will replace it if he can't adjust it.

We'll see.


"Let's all be careful out there!"


Holly Muppet said...

Thats not a spider but a mutant otopus now living on land!

Hollys Daday (little green men)

Dogbait said...

Wimps, I flick these out of meter boxes all the time!

Shadow said...

Looks like tazer time to me!

jo said...


You are my hero!! I would have screamed too, if I had seen that spider.

The spiders here are not a patch on yours - the biggest one I have ever seen here (native) was about two and half inches wide (legs and all).

I would love to see whales jumping. Do you happen to know what time of the year is the best time for whale watching?


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