A CABBIE'S FAQ

PLEASE ENGAGE BRAIN
BEFORE OPENING MOUTH!

• DO YOU LIVE HERE?

Naw. I fly in from LA everyday. Trying to build up my frequent flier mileage.

• WHERE CAN I GET SOME (insert illict drug)?

I get this one alot. Probably because I look like an aging hippie. I handle this one of two ways. I either say "Did I mention that I am a former cop?" The cab gets deathly quiet and they usually respond "I was just asking for a 'friend'."

If I am in a playful mood, I'll say "Sure, just call Les at 244-6400. Tell him I told you to call and he'll 'hook' you up."

244-6400 is MPD's non-emergency line into the dispatch center.

• WHERE ARE THE HOOKERS?

On a rare occassion, I'll see an obvious "ice-head" trying her luck along south Kihei road. The police have a low tolerance for street whores. Most of the girls plying the world's oldest profession tend to work out of the "Escort Agencies" or work the bars in a very casual manner. Street walkers are common in Honolulu, on Kaulakaua Avenue (the Waikiki "strip").

• WHATS THE WEATHER LIKE IN THE WINTER?

This one is usually asked in December thru February.
"Uh, This is our winter, sir."
"It can't be. You are south of the equator. This is summer!"
"Sir, we are 20^o north of the equator. We are in the northern hemisphere. This IS our winter. Summers are usually about 15^o warmer."

I am always amazed at the number of guests who have no concept of where they are. Before going on holiday/vacation they never bother to learn something/anything about their destination.

• WHERE ARE THE "TITTIE" BARS?

I hear this at least once a night. Geez!
"We don't have 'tittie' bars on Mau'i, sir. You'll need to go to Honolulu for that."
The response from the (typically) drunk (typically) male guest is a barrage of invectives. My tolerance level determines whether we complete the journey or he ends up walking from the middle of nowhere.

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SOME MORE PICS

BEAR,
waiting not so patiently to commandeer the chair in front of the PC.

BLUE HAWAI'I
Beautiful picture from Keawakapu Beach.
Taken by Darilyn of Tropical Screamer.
A fellow resident of Kihei.


CONTRASTS
The Mau'i Coast in daylight and in dark

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It only took six hours to upload the final 3 pics shown here. [sigh]

Well, time to get ready for work. A brand new workweek!
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Later.....

Wil
=8^))
"Let's all be careful out there!"