DAILY CHUCKLE 8-345

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DECEMBER 9TH

Today is Tuesday, Dec. 9, the 344th day of 2008.
There are 22 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• Four hundred years ago, on Dec. 9, 1608, English poet John Milton was born in London.

On this date:

• In 1854, Alfred, Lord Tennyson's famous poem, "The Charge of the Light Brigade," was published in England.
• In 1892, "Widowers' Houses," Bernard Shaw's first play, opened at the Royalty Theater in London.
• In 1940, British troops opened their first major offensive in North Africa during World War II.
• In 1941, China declared war on Japan, Germany and Italy.
• In 1942, the Aram Khachaturian ballet "Gayane," featuring the surging "Saber Dance," was first performed by the Kirov Ballet.
• In 1958, the anti-communist John Birch Society was formed in Indianapolis.
• In 1965, Nikolai V. Podgorny replaced Anastas I. Mikoyan as president of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet.
• In 1987, the first Palestinian intifada, or uprising, began as riots broke out in Gaza and spread to the West Bank, triggering a strong Israeli counter-response.
• In 1990, Solidarity founder Lech Walesa won Poland's presidential runoff by a landslide.
• In 1992, Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced their separation. (The couple's divorce became final Aug. 28, 1996.)

Ten years ago:

• Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee drew up four proposed articles of impeachment against President Bill Clinton, all stemming from his sexual relationship with Monica Lewinsky and long campaign to cover it up.

Five years ago:

• The owners of a Rhode Island nightclub and the tour manager for the rock band Great White were indicted on charges related to a fire the previous February that killed 100 people.
• A suicide bomber killed five victims outside an exclusive Moscow hotel.
• Former Vice President Al Gore endorsed Howard Dean for the Democratic presidential nomination.
• Former Sen. Paul Simon died in Springfield, Ill., at age 75.

One year ago:

• A young man once affiliated with a missionary school shot nine people at the school near Denver and a megachurch in Colorado Springs; four victims died and the gunman, Matthew Murray, killed himself.
• Pig farmer Robert "Willie" Pickton, accused of being Canada's worst serial killer, was convicted of six counts of second-degree murder, which carried a mandatory sentence of life in prison.
• Republican presidential candidates sought to embrace Hispanics in a Spanish language debate in Coral Gables, Fla.
• The first summit between Europe and Africa in seven years came to an acrimonious end in Lisbon, Portugal.

Today's Birthdays:

• Actor Kirk Douglas is 92.
• Actor Dick Van Patten is 80.
• Actor-writer Buck Henry is 78.
• Actress Dame Judi Dench is 74.
• Actor Beau Bridges is 67.
• Jazz singer-musician Dan Hicks is 67.
• Football Hall-of-Famer Dick Butkus is 66.
• Actor Michael Nouri is 63.
• Former Sen. Thomas Daschle, D-S.D., is 61.
• Singer Joan Armatrading is 58.
• Actor Michael Dorn is 56.
• Actor John Malkovich is 55.
• Country singer Sylvia is 52.
• Singer/game show host Donny Osmond is 51.
• Rock musician Nick Seymour (Crowded House) is 50.
• Comedian Mario Cantone is 49.
• Actor Joe Lando is 47.
• Actress Felicity Huffman is 46.
• Country musician Jerry Hughes (Yankee Grey) is 43.
• Rock singer-musician Thomas Flowers (Oleander) is 41.
• Rock musician Brian Bell (Weezer) is 40.
• Rock singer-musician Jakob Dylan (Wallflowers) is 39.
• Country musician Brian Hayes (Cole Deggs and the Lonesome) is 39.
• Actress Allison Smith is 39.
• Songwriter Kara DioGuardi is 38.
• Country singer David Kersh is 38.
• Rock musician Tre Cool (Green Day) is 36.
• Rapper Canibus is 34.
• Rock musician Eric Zamora (Save Ferris) is 32.
• Rock singer Imogen Heap is 31.
• Actor Jesse Metcalfe is 30.
• Actor Simon Helberg is 28.

Thought for Today:

"Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties."
John Milton, English poet (1608-1674).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-344

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DECEMBER 8TH

Today is Monday, Dec. 8, the 343rd day of 2008.
There are 23 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

• On Dec. 8, 1941, the United States entered World War II as Congress declared war against Japan, a day after the attack on Pearl Harbor.

On this date:

• In 1776, during the Revolutionary War, George Washington's retreating army crossed the Delaware River from New Jersey into Pennsylvania.
• In 1854, Pope Pius IX proclaimed the Catholic dogma of the Immaculate Conception, which holds that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was free of original sin from the moment of her own conception.
• In 1863, President Abraham Lincoln announced his plan for the Reconstruction of the South.
• In 1886, the American Federation of Labor was founded in Columbus, Ohio.
• In 1949, the Chinese Nationalist government moved from the Chinese mainland to Formosa as the Communists pressed their attacks.
• In 1978, former Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir died in Jerusalem at age 80.
• In 1980, rock star John Lennon was shot to death outside his New York City apartment building by an apparently deranged fan.
• In 1982, a man demanding an end to nuclear weapons held the Washington Monument hostage, threatening to blow it up with explosives he claimed were inside a van. After a 10-hour standoff, Norman D. Mayer was shot dead by police; it turned out there were no explosives.
• In 1987, President Ronald Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a treaty at the White House calling for destruction of intermediate-range nuclear missiles.
• In 1993, President Bill Clinton signed into U.S. law the North American Free Trade Agreement, which went into effect at the start of 1994.

Ten years ago:

• Struggling to stave off impeachment, President Bill Clinton's defenders forcefully pleaded his case before the House Judiciary Committee.
• The Supreme Court ruled that police cannot search people and their cars after merely ticketing them for routine traffic violations.
• San Francisco and several suburbs suffered a power blackout; it was more than seven hours before electricity was fully restored.

Five years ago:

• President George W. Bush signed a $400 billion Medicare overhaul bill that included a prescription drug plan for seniors.
• Congress approved legislation to stem the flood of unwanted junk e-mail known as "spam."
• U.S. Rep. Bill Janklow resigned from Congress just after being convicted in the traffic death of a motorcyclist, Randy Scott, in South Dakota.
• A Greek anti-terrorism court convicted 15 members of the November 17 cell for their roles in a nearly 30-year killing campaign.

One year ago:

• The Justice Department and CIA announced a joint inquiry into the spy agency's destruction of videotapes of interrogations of two suspected terrorists.
• Talk show host Oprah Winfrey publicly endorsed Barack Obama for president during appearances in Des Moines and Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
• Skiers, fire-eaters and an ice sculptor joined in worldwide demonstrations to draw attention to global warming.
• Florida quarterback Tim Tebow became the first sophomore to win the Heisman Trophy.

Today's Birthdays:

• Actor-director Maximilian Schell is 78.
• Actor David Carradine is 72.
• Actor James MacArthur is 71.
• Flutist James Galway is 69.
• Singer Jerry Butler is 69.
• Pop musician Bobby Elliott (The Hollies) is 67.
• Actor John Rubinstein is 62.
• Rock singer-musician Gregg Allman is 61.
• Reggae singer Toots Hibbert (Toots and the Maytals) is 60.
• Actress Kim Basinger is 55.
• Rock musician Warren Cuccurullo is 52.
• Rock musician Phil Collen (Def Leppard) is 51.
• Country singer Marty Raybon is 49.
• Rock musician Marty Friedman is 46.
• Actor Wendell Pierce is 45.
• Actress Teri Hatcher is 44.
• Rapper Bushwick Bill (The Geto Boys) is 42.
• Singer Sinead O'Connor is 42.
• Actor Matthew Laborteaux is 42.
• Rock musician Ryan Newell (Sister Hazel) is 36.
• Actor Dominic Monaghan is 32.
• Actor Ian Somerhalder is 30.
• Rock singer Ingrid Michaelson is 29.
• Rock singer-actress Kate Voegele is 22.
• Actress AnnaSophia Robb is 15.

Thought for Today:

"So long as governments set the example of killing their enemies, private individuals will occasionally kill theirs."
Elbert Hubbard, American author (1856-1915).

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DAILY CHUCKLE 8-343

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DECEMBER 7TH

Today is Sunday, Dec. 7, the 342nd day of 2008.
There are 24 days left in the year.

The Day That Will Live In Infamy

Today's Highlight in History:

• On Dec. 7, 1941, Japanese forces attacked American and British territories and possessions in the Pacific, including the home base of the U.S. Pacific Fleet at Pearl Harbor in Hawaii.

On this date:

• In 1787, Delaware became the first state to ratify the U.S. Constitution.
• In 1796, electors chose John Adams to be the second president of the United States.
• In 1808, electors chose James Madison to be the fourth president of the United States.
• In 1836, Martin Van Buren was elected the eighth president of the United States.
• In 1946, fire broke out at the Winecoff Hotel in Atlanta; the blaze killed 119 people, including hotel founder W. Frank Winecoff.
• In 1972, America's last moon mission to date was launched as Apollo 17 blasted off from Cape Canaveral, Fla.
• In 1982, convicted murderer Charlie Brooks Jr. became the first U.S. prisoner to be executed by injection, at a prison in Huntsville, Texas.
• In 1983, in Madrid, Spain, an Aviaco DC-9 collided on a runway with an Iberia Air Lines Boeing 727 that was accelerating for takeoff, killing all 42 people aboard the DC-9 and 51 aboard the Iberia jet.
• In 1987, 43 people were killed after a gunman aboard a Pacific Southwest Airlines jetliner in California apparently opened fire on a fellow passenger, the two pilots and himself, causing the plane to crash.
• In 1988, a major earthquake in the Soviet Union devastated northern Armenia; official estimates put the death toll at 25,000.

Ten years ago:

• On the eve of historic hearings, House Judiciary Committee Chairman Henry Hyde said there was a "compelling case" for impeaching President Bill Clinton.
• Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an independent counsel investigation of President Clinton over 1996 campaign financing.

Five years ago:

• Allies of President Vladimir Putin won a sweeping victory in Russia's parliamentary elections.
• Zimbabwe withdrew from the Commonwealth of Britain and its former colonies, which had suspended it for alleged abuses of civil liberties.

One year ago:

• Congressional Democrats demanded a full Justice Department investigation into whether the CIA had obstructed justice by destroying videotapes documenting the harsh 2002 interrogations of two alleged terrorists.
• Two window washers fell 47 stories from a Manhattan skyscraper when their scaffolding failed; Edgar Moreno was killed, but his brother, Alcides, miraculously survived.
• Barry Bonds pleaded not guilty in San Francisco to charges he'd lied to federal investigators about using performance-enhancing drugs.

Today's Birthdays:

• Actor Eli Wallach is 93.
• Political philosopher Noam Chomsky is 80.
• Bluegrass singer Bobby Osborne is 77.
• Actress Ellen Burstyn is 76.
• Sen. Thad Cochran, R-Miss., is 71.
• Broadcast journalist Carole Simpson is 68.
• Baseball Hall-of-Famer Johnny Bench is 61.
• Country singer Gary Morris is 60.
• Singer-songwriter Tom Waits is 59.
• Sen. Susan M. Collins, R-Maine, is 56.
• Actress Priscilla Barnes is 53.
• Basketball Hall-of-Famer Larry Bird is 52.
• Former "Tonight Show" announcer Edd Hall is 50.
• Rock musician Tim Butler (The Psychedelic Furs) is 50.
• Actor Jeffrey Wright is 43.
• Actor C. Thomas Howell is 42.
• Football player Terrell Owens is 35.
• Pop singer Nicole Appleton (All Saints) is 33.
• Country singer Sunny Sweeney is 32.
• Actress Shiri Appleby is 30.
• Pop-rock singer Sara Bareilles is 29.
• Singer Aaron Carter is 21.

Thought for Today:

"No nation ever had an army large enough to guarantee it against attack in time of peace or insure it victory in time of war."
President Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933).

"Let's all be careful out there!"