HURRAY!!

100 FLAGS UP TOP!

Meet Bruce and Pietrina, from Royal Oak, MI USA

They just might come back next year and tie the knot. A very vivacious, loving young couple. I liked them. They leave today.

Okay, the cabbie part of the shift was a stellar performance. The dispatching part was the shits. Not that it was busy but I seemed to have left my brain on the pillow when I woke up yesterday. Lets just say that I would be generous if I awarded my self anything above a "C-". I would rate it as the worst job I've ever done as a dispatcher. Attention span, memory, attitude. Everything was wrong. I apologize to my associates, my company, et al.

I was late to start since I had to stop by the owners house and pick up the phone and portable. Less than 3 minutes after logging on I get a Wailea to Sansei. A quick $20 fare is a good way to start the "day". As I was dropping, a nice couple asked me to take them to Wailea. A "bounce-back"!

Then I took Bruce and Pietrina to dinner, returned them later. I met them on Thursday night and we just "clicked". Told them what/where all the good restaurants were. I may not do tours but I know the "night-side" of south Mau'i intimately.

Then I was in the right spot, at the right moment, to get a Wailea-OGG. $100 on the meter by 9:15p!! I just went with the flow.

A few bar-rush then the usual dead period between 11p and midnight.

A few bar-close

Dog-watch added 7 more fares to the trip sheet.

The money, and tips, were excellent.

18 fares / 140 miles / 4th quarter $200 bracket

***

The most popular of my recent posts, according to my trackers, was the Rush Limbaugh one of October 2nd.

Seems people, mostly (but not all) from Islamic nations, using search engines are seeking "Ass Paradise" or "Paradise Ass". I wonder how many became enamored with Ol' Rush's face?

I think I will put up a putrid porn title and see what is drawn out of the woodwork. Please don't be shocked.

***

Sunday's are now back on my schedule. Also, unless I have phone duty, I have been cleared to go straight to Lahaina for Halloween. That typically is a $300 to $500 night. The bane of that is I still need to be back in Kihei around 2a to cover the graveyard shift. Lose out on the late bar-close on Front Street.

***

How's your weekend going?

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Assorted Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

PRE-TEEN LOLITA TORTURE & SNUFF VIDEOS

If you came here via a search engine, I want to thank you for letting me record your IP#, ISP, Location and a few other interesting facts about you.

I am sure the police will appreciate me forwarding this information on to them.

Have a nice day, pervert. You don't have too many left.






"Let's all be careful out there!"

WELCOME TO....

MY OFFICE

A very lackluster shift. Didn't even break $100 on the meter.

The first fare, after only an hours wait, was a very sweet couple going out to Sansei. Had their return also. I might get them tonight for a pu-pu run to Capische, at the Diamond Resort. Just up the hill from the Kea Lani Resort and Mulligans On The Blue. We had absolutely no bar-rush or bar-close traffic.

Picked up a 3-some (2-M 1-F) around 11:15p from the Sports Page, headed to Menehune Shores with a stop at Taco Hell along the way. They were from San Francisco. "Shotgun" was whining about taking a cab since it was only 2 blocks. I laughed and told him it was more than 2 blocks. It is closer to 4 miles. North Kihei, almost into FAR north Kihei. I agreed to stop at Taco Hell if they promised not to eat in ONE-NINE. We reached an accord. A few moments later "shotgun" started trying to speak in pidgin.

"Hey bro, err, brah. You got some da kine?"

"What?"

"Some da kine. You know brah! Da kine, weed, pot, mary-gee-wanna."

"No."

"Bullshit, brah. All cabbies sell smoke. Why not you."

"You are definitely barking up the wrong tree, pal. I don't do that shit. I am a retired cop."

"So do you think weed should be illegal?"

"I don't really care either way. Currently it is illegal and that is all that matters to me. So, sorry, I can't help you."

He ranted about marijuana laws all the way to Taco Hell.

They returned to the cab and, before we had moved 50 feet, the lady in the back starts in on me.

"So, why did you become a cop? Like to beat people up and be a real asshole?"

"Actually, it was a life long dream. Back to my earliest memories."

"Shotgun" pipes in with,

"I don't like cops. Your all a bunch of fascist pricks."

The other male, in the rear with the female, is busy scarfing down food.

"You know what, folks? This ride is over. Right here and right now. $12.50 please."

"Shotgun" bails out his door like a "joy buzzer" had gone off against his ass. The female starts begging for me to reconsider.

No Fucking Way!!

Ol' "Charlie Taco" is still shoving food into his face. Oh, I had to give them directions,

"Just 2 miles that-a-way. On the left. Can't miss it."

The last I saw of them they were entering Tipups.

9 fares / 71 miles / 4th quarter below $100 bracket

***

I pass through most of the commiunities on Mau'i. Sometimes there are things that you just miss. My associate, Tina, was riding her moped across the island and, due to the low speed, spotted the town sign for Pa'ia. Didn't know about that "hippie rule".

***

Have a fantastic day and weekend!

Hope to see you tomorrow.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Assorted Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

THE RIDE

THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN

It would have made for a really good night but, sadly, it didn't pan out.

Get a call about 2:30a this morning, from a Lahaina prefix. Guy wants me to pick up his buddy at the "Triangle" and take him to Kahului. I advise him about the $50 deposit and he says that there was no problem. I get there in less than 15 minutes and found the reasonably intoxicated dude. He doesn't quite have the deposit. So we pull over to FoodLand, where there is an ATM ("Magic Money Machine" as my son used to call them).

"Sir. Just take one step inside and turn to your left. You'll see the ATM. If you take a second step, you'll pass it."

"Okay."

Of course, he walked all the way to the check stands AND turned right. Took him about 3 minutes to find the damn thing. Seven minutes later, he is still standing there. I canceled the meter and drove away.

Obviously he didn't have enough, couldn't get anymore and I was just wasting my time. If the machine was malfunctioning, he would have left and we would have gone to another. So that meant either he was too drunk to operate a wheelbarrow or there wasn't any cash or credit on his cards. I really didn't give a hoot either way.

No money = No ride

I think dining establishments and cabbing are the only 2 businesses that get paid at the end of the job rather than up-front. Can you think of any others?

Its almost a stereo-type. The IT folks aren't going or doing. Nada.

I had a couple last night that remembered me from last year. It happens, not often, but it does happen a few times a year. Normally a 20-25% chance of me being your night hack again on 5 nights a week.

9 fares / 120 miles / 1st quarter $200 bracket

***

Heard this on the radio last night and thought that it pretty much sums up what it takes to survive on Mau'i:

The Red Queen in Alice Through The Looking Glass

"It takes all the running you can do to stay in one place."

***

Have a great day everybody!

Hope to see you tomorrow.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Assorted Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

DEAD

SLOW SHIFT

This video (15 seconds long) was the most exciting, most interesting thing from last night

Entry Fountain - Four Seasons

It looks like I'll have the phone again this Friday. Its the way the new rotation list is working out for this week. Whether I do Sunday night is still undecided. As with all new things, how it looks on paper and how it actually plays out isn't quite the same.

Supposedly, whoever gets the phone at 9p HAS to stay on until 2a, when I take it over for the dog-watch. Last night was Tina's night and she went home at midnight. Which meant that TMR, who conceived of this concept, had to take over for 2 hours. I do more than my fair share and I'll be damned if I'll do anymore, involuntarily. Maui Jim is scheduled for tonight, Terry on Thursday, me on Friday and then TMR again on Saturday. If I don't do Sunday, then Kimo will have it.

We have some IT geeks as this week's large group. I don't know how many but only 23 of them went from resort-to-resort for dinner last night. That gave me 50% of my runs for the night.

I woke up yesterday morning at 7:30a. I don't know why. Couldn't fall back to sleep. Believe me, I tried. Took a 2-hour break at 11p and struggled to get through the dog-watch until my relief showed up. I should sleep soundly today.

Lets hope for more activity tonight.

6 fares / 40 miles / 2nd quarter below $100 bracket

Hope to see you tomorrow.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Fairmont Kea Lani Resort
Wailea, Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

THIS NEW WEEK

PRESENTS TWO NEW ISSUES

Whether or not I continue dispatching on Sunday nights and when my next driving/dispatch night will be. We started the new "rotation" list yesterday, while I was off. I am the last name on the list since it is alphabetical by first name.

***

The National Park Service has suspended all commercial "Bike-down-the-mountain" activities, for at least 60 days, within the Haleakala N.P. boundary. 5 deaths this year. This is one of the largest tour activity-business on the island and will cause a major drop in island revenue.

***

Yesterday was the anniversary of last years earthquake just off the Kona coast of the Big Island.

Some areas on Mau'i are still trying to recover.

The electrical companies claim that their systems will not fail in the event of a replay. Hell, it wasn't suppose to have happened the first time.

Whether or not our local radio stations have now installed back-up generators is unknown. I was prepared for a disaster but it turns out that the most vital of our services on the island were not.

Oh, both of the electrical generation plants on Mau'i are in the tsunami evacuation zone and would likely fail if we get a good sized one.

Where I live is about 180 feet above sea level, so I am safe but the only road out of town is 1 foot above sea level and everyone in Kihei/Wailea/Makena would be trapped until the roadway could be cleared.

***

Was back to bed by 6a Monday morning and slept very late that afternoon. With a bit'o'luck I should sleep late again today to get ready for a new week of work.

Tuesdays occasionally are okay but not often. We'll see what The Fates deal out for this week's hand.

Check-in again tomorrow.

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Fairmont Kea Lani Resort
Wailea, Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

I OPENED MY EYES

THE CLOCK SAID 5:50 PM

SHIT!

I am supposed to start dispatching in 10 minutes and I don't have the phone or radio. Call and both are delivered within 5 minutes. I became the "call center" at exactly 6:00 PM. Whew! Thats cutting it real close.

But I will say that I was really sleeping good.

It took until 6:30p before the brain actually kicked in. Up to then it was just doing rote routine. Functioning - not thinking. Stick a phone in my ear and put a radio in my hand and I go on "automatic mode".

Out of the last 15 days, this was my 7th night dispatching. No wonder I am so dang tired.

***

I used to play "at" golf but it has been almost 7 years since my last tour of the links.

Shot a 72 at that time.

Then the course marshal told me there were still 17 holes left to play.

I play golf military style:

Left - Right - Left - Right.

I spent so much time in the woods that I took up bird-watching as a secondary hobby.

BTW - What is the purpose of a Driving Range if they won't let you take a monster truck on it?

And don't putting greens remind you of a billards table? Hit the ball and hope it goes in ONE of the holes.

***

THOUGHTS FOR TODAY:

Birds of a feather flock together

and crap on your car

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle.

It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

A penny saved...

is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time,

but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,

because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house

is to buy a replacement

He who hesitates...

is probably right.

Did you ever notice:

The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are "XL."

If you think there is good in everybody...

you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong ...

you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is

so they can tell when they're really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.

For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt

Did you ever notice:

When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."

***

A pretty slow night on the phone.

Have a great new week!

Mahalo

Aloha

---

THE PICTURE GALLERY

Wailea
Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"