BOO!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Pumpkin Spider

Went into M^cDonalds last night. One "blond" Hawai'ian girl working the cash registar. Before the man in front of me had even collected his food, she was demanding my order.

"One Double Deluxe Burger, please."

"What?"

"What part of what I said didn't you understand?"

"All of it."

"Okay. ONE DOUBLE DELUXE BURGER, PLEASE."

I projected in my best "announcers" voice.

She slams her fist against the sales terminal. Shouts,

"BITCH!!"

at me and storms away.

The assistant manager stops her and tells her to go in the back. The AM then starts to take my order.

"I really don't appreciate being treated in this manner. I would like to speak to the Manager on duty, please. I am pretty positive that the owner of this store and your corporate headquarters would find this offensive also."

She doesn't say a word. Just walks into the back. In a few moments a lady, must be the manager since the uniform is different, approaches and takes my food order. I also explain, while holding my cash in plain sight, that I felt my burger should be "comped" for the insulting way I was treated. The manager rings up my order and doesn't ask for any money. Just as she is putting it into a sack, the first server comes storming from behind the counter, kicking things out of her way. The AM tried to restrain her approach but was shoved out of the way. I stood calming by waiting for what I presumed was going to be a physical attack. All she did was rush past and holler,

"FUCKING HAULI!"

The manager placed my order on the counter. I told her,

"I also do not appreciate being called racist, perjorative names. I will be reporting this store to corporate headquarters and the Hawai'ian Civil Rights Commission."

If any person of any other race would have been treated this way, it would make the news. But a white person in Hawai'i is expected to ignore these racist epitaphs. I don't ignore them. When you complain, you are given a "white-wash" that Hauli means "foreigner", which is not true. The ancient meaning of the word is "a person without breath", which translates as "a person without a soul".

Less than 1% of the population is more than 50% Hawai'ian blood. About 3% are Hawai'ian mix. Yet everyone is expected to "kow-tow" to their almost defunct culture. That fact is that their last Sovereign abdicated her throne and the Republic of Hawai'i was created. That was over 110 years ago. Of all the ethnic and cultural groups in Hawai'i, and none are a majority, the Hawai'ians are the ones with the least amount of "Aloha" spirit.

I have grown up being called a "half-breed" because of my Cherokee and Irish mix. Called "white trash" because I was a military brat. We won't even go into the names I heard as a cop. I am sick and tired of it.

***

It was the second worst night I've had driving a cab these past 6 years. So slow that Tina left at 9p, TMR left at midnight and Kimo departed at 1a. "Crazy" Brian stayed on only because he had the phone duty until 2a and me because I still had the dog-watch to go. Didn't even put $30 on the meter. To add insult to injury, the owner screwed up and scheduled both of the early drivers off so the could work Halloween. Leaving me with no relief. Finally somebody I have never really met before, showed up and logged in at 5a. I handed him the phone and radio and he says,

"I am not a dispatcher."

"You are today, dude."

I tossed everything in his lap and left. I have to get up early, since the owner changed his mind about me taking ONE-NINE home today and I have to pick up my "special" to Lahaina at 5p. So now I must arise 30 minutes earlier than I planned. I am NOT a happy camper this morning. And what I have written here is just the tip of the iceberg of "fuck ups" that occurred all shift. Hell, I am the ONLY driver that prearranged a run over and back tonight.

4 fares / 37 miles / 2nd quarter below $100 bracket

***

We had a shark attack yesterday. We have had more shark attacks this past year that in all my 14 years on Mau'i put together. Of course, the term "Shark Attack" has negative connotations so the local paper calls them "Shark Strikes". Don't want to upset the tourists and scare away business now, do we?

Of course, having DHS snafus, that leave tourists stranded on cruise ships, doesn't leave a positive lasting impression either, does it?

Mau'i has been named the BEST ISLAND IN THE WORLD by a Conde Nast annual readers poll for the 11th straight year.

***

Well, its off to bed for a few hours sleep. Up earlier than normal for my trip to Lahaina and all its adventures. I've mentioned before that this is another thing that Hawai'ians want to abolish, since it is not part of their culture and they won't accept other cultures traditions. They are rather myopic in their views.

I'll try and get some interesting pics of the costumes.

Mahalo

Aloha

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THE PICTURE GALLERY

Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

IT WAS NICE

TO GET OUT AGAIN

Richard, Judy's new love, is a really nice guy. We had spaghetti, talked, watched HEROES. Like me, he isn't much of a drinker. Which is nice. Judy looks good, is healthy and is obviously very happy. We had a nice comfortable evening.

They are taking me out to dinner next Tuesday for my birthday. I'll be taking the night off. Lets face it, 60 is a milestone number.

***

The former owner, Art, has been ill. The rumor is that he has colon cancer and will be under going surgery this week. I send him my best thoughts.

Now that I have a working phone, I talked to my son over the weekend. He and family are doing great. Spoke with the "daughter" on Friday and she and her two boys are likewise. Even had my "ex" call yesterday to check in. She had been on Kaua'i this past week at a religious retreat. She is an ordained minister now. I have no idea what faith system that is in. She had a great time. She had called me before the trip but there wasn't any flexibility in our schedules to meet. Maybe next time. I also talked to my sweetheart "Wiskers" and she and family will be here in February. There is a good chance that she will stay on and work/live here.

Gee, I just realized that in the past week I have spoken with every important person in my life. Thats very rare for me.

Back to work tonight. I have no idea who will be dispatching. I'll bring ONE-NINE home after my shift and then it'll be Halloween when I awaken tomorrow and off to Lahaina for, hopefully, a spectacular night.

Everybody have a wonderful day. See you tomorrow.

Mahalo

Aloha

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THE PICTURE GALLERY

Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

REMEMBER HOW SLOW...

LAST SUNDAY WAS?

Well, cut that by 50% for last night. The difference between the day and night shifts were dramatic. It was 6:10p before the owner could make it to my place and drop off the phone and radio. His wife transferred the line 2 minutes later. And everything died. I watched a lot of TV, waiting for calls. Oh, there wasn't one interesting program on any of the 78 channels I receive. Not one. At 1:45a, Kimo picked up the phone and portable to deliver them to Eric, the guy who covers the dog-watch on my days off. He drives ONE-NINE. So, with the late start and early finish, I only logged 7.5 hours.

Absolutely nothing in this weeks e-mail bag.

Everyone enjoy your new week.

Europe went back on Standard Time yesterday. The USA (excluding Hawai'i and Arizona) does it next Sunday at 2a. I don't know about Canada or Mexico. On the flip side of the equator, I have no idea of when their time changes occur. I would presume that it is similar.

Maybe someone could educate me. I am too tired to "Wiki" it at the moment.

Hope to see you tomorrow. I am going to Judy's for some charred animal flesh tonight and my first true meeting with her new beau.

Mahalo

Aloha

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THE PICTURE GALLERY

Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

A SPRINT TO...

THE FINISH LINE!


I logged in 4th up in Wailea and was #1 within 5 minutes. Dispatch sends me for a pick-up in lower Kihei, coming in to Wailea. Then advises #27 (TMR) that he is needed at a resort in Wailea in 10 minutes for a "time call". Problem is, #27 is returning from OGG and is still about 5 minutes out of Kihei. At least 15 minutes away. I suggest to dispatch that, unless the passenger load exceeded ONE-NINE's capacity (4), it would make more sense to send me to the resort, I was still in Wailea, and have #27 cover the other fare. I had no idea where the resort fare was headed, probably just a pu-pu run, but common sense dictated that being late for the reservation AND having ONE-NINE and #27 cross paths was impractical. Pulled up to the resort entrance 5 minutes early. 2 of our cabs were already staged for assigned fares and, obviously, there were no other cabs in Wailea. A young couple approach me and want to go to the Four Seasons, next door. The other cabs had just started loading luggage for their trips to OGG. It was going to be close but I took them over. Returned for my assigned run and he was waiting for me. Made the pick-up at 7:31p. Missed it by 1 minute. While putting the cab in gear, extinguishing the interior lights, starting the meter and reaching for the mike, I asked where we were headed to.

"David Pauls."

David Pauls is a 5-STAR restaurant in the center of Lahaina town. $85 dollars away.

"Yes, sir. Kick back and relax, we should be there in about 45 minutes."

During the hours I work, it typically takes about 30 minutes and I was giving myself some "stretch room" in case traffic was heavy. 47 minuets later I dropped him and gave him the 4-1-1 about his return. Which I did, 4 hours later. A "roundtrip"!

Between those 2 trips I was able to get some pu-pu runs in Wailea and Kihei. After my return, things quieted down for about 30 minutes. 2 bar-close and 2 dog-watch fares. One of which took me across the island to Wailuku. A couple of Korean "hostess" bar girls. Enroute, we stopped in Kahului to pick up a third girl, whose "date" was also over. They tipped fairly.

12 fares / 193 miles / 4th quarter $200 bracket

***

Our beaches in south Mau'i have been pestered by a hammerhead shark all week. Swimming just inches from land in the shore break. The county life guards have closed a 3 mile stretch of beaches most of the week. Friday it washed up on shore, dead.

***

Its Sunday to my east and Monday to my west. Have a great day everybody! I dispatch from home tonight.

Mahalo

Aloha

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THE PICTURE GALLERY

Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

CARPE DIEM!!

OR NOT.
WHATEVER SUITS YOUR PLEASURE

Let me give you the night in summary:

• Tina (#5), at least one to Lahaina and one to Pukalani, up-country Mau'i).
• TMR (#27), An OGG, a Wailuku and a Ka'anapali.
• "Crazy" Brian (#11), a roundtrip to Pa'ia.
• Terry (#07), a Mama's roundtrip.

ONE-NINE, the longest fare was exactly $20. Only had three more above $10. All the rest were less.

+++

Maybe 5'6". In his 60's, give or take 5. Portly. Pure white bushy hair. Wearing a white Poloshirt. Dark blue Bermuda shorts, black ankle socks and brown leather sandals. None of which came "off-the-rack". It was just a short Mulligans to a resort. He was rapidly approaching unconsciousness.

A jovial sort, he was obviously telling jokes but only 1 in each cluster of 4 or 5 words was intelligible. I laughed when he did. Pull into his resort, the Doorman opens the door and I turn to collect my fare.

Sprawled across the rear seat and still functional, slowly counting out One's unto the seat. Ol' "Happy" lost his count and thrusted the bills at me. I knew that at least double the fare was in his hand and relieved him of the burden of that much cash. Crawled out the door, pulling himself up-right along the door frame. Found his focal point in the foyer and stumbled off in that general direction. That takes decades of practice to be as proficient as he was. A pillar of American Business. Has to be, since the average cost of a hotel room, per night in Wailea, is more than the national average of monthly mortgage payment. More than the average "working stiff" can afford.

+++

A tiny Filipina lady, from Henry's, to her home about 1 mile south. Standing next to my door, our eyes were parallel. Now, that is tiny!

+++

Two lady "suits" from LA, a bar-close run back to Wailea. Both frustrated by all the "boys" that tried to pick them up in the bars.

"Boys"? Tapped the dome switch, briefly illuminated the interior. The right-rear was maybe 22, the left rear 27.

WRONG!

RR was nearing 35 and LR was upper 40's. I looked again and maybe RR was pulling 25 but LR was still pushing 35. Great genes and makeup.

+++

I am dispatching, Friday night, and am first up. The "Leatherman/Birdman" approaches us at the bus stop at Foodland. Back leather western hat, black leather motorcycle jacket, faded denims, black leather combat boots. His pure white Cockatoo on his left shoulder. As he is getting in, the phone rings. A run from Kihei to Kahana, on the far west side. just 10-seconds earlier and that would have been mine. The proverbial "sigh".

13 fares / 77 miles / 1st quarter $100 bracket

To finish on a positive thought, one of my regulars called and asked me to take him and a friend from Kihei to Lahaina, on Halloween night. I had planned to leave about 5p anyway and that was great with him. A paid ride over and back!

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend,

I'll be back tomorrow.

Mahalo

Aloha

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THE PICTURE GALLERY

Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"

PUSH CAME TO SHOVE

LAST NIGHT

My old phone finally gave up. Fully charged and the power would be gone (battery dead) by the third ring. So, now I have a new Motorola MotoRazr v3m, with BlueTooth. Signed up on a contract (2-years, ugh) but now I have a reliable phone.

That cost me almost 90 minutes of prime driving time. I actually made some money, though. I went a bit high on the minutes because I am going to add the number to my biz cards and get my fares to call me for their returns directly. By-pass dispatch and stop losing those fares that failed to ask for me specifically. The increased income will more than cover the additional cost.

Didn't have one fare of interest. Run-of-the-mill jobs. The tips were good though.

My turn to dispatch again tonight. This will probably be my last Friday with the phone for a while. Adding "Crazy" Brian to the rotation, another driver on vacation next week and some other minute factors will change the queue sequence.

Haven't received any negative feedback about dispatching from home last Sunday, so I guess that problem is solved.

8 fares / 87 miles / 1st quarter $100 bracket

***

Did you know that today is the 126th anniversary of The Gunfight At The OK Corral? Wyatt Earp and clan kicked some ass that day.

***

TGIF everybody and have a spectacular weekend.

Hope to see you again real soon.

Mahalo

Aloha

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THE PICTURE GALLERY

Mau'i

***

"Let's all be careful out there!"